


Clash Of Hearts

by Nadja_Lee, Polarnacht



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Jace Wayland, Background Magnus Bane/Isabelle Lightwood, Blow Jobs, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Discrimination Against Downworlders, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Possessive Jace Wayland, Protective Jace Wayland, Rebellion, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Shy Alec Lightwood, Smut, Telepathic Bond, Top Jace Wayland, parabatai love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 63,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26173978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: An epic AU love story set during the time of Valentine's reign.The Uprising succeeds and the Lightwoods rule with Valentine in Idris. Maryse gives birth to Alec, hiding the fact he is Valentine's son.Alec meets Jace when Valentine orders him to train him. Disappointed with the result, Valentine has Alec move in with him, giving him his special attention. With Jace's friendship Alec survives the ordeal, but Valentine is disappointed in Alec as he expected the same from Alec as from Jace as Alec is his son, despite the fact that Alec doesn’t have pure angel blood.Alec and Jace become parabatai in secret and later lovers.  When Alec saves a young Warlock girl named Madzie from Valentine's soldiers, he realizes things need to change in Idris and in the Shadow World in general. He gets Jace on his side and together they start a rebellion, supported by Magnus and his Downworld allies. Jace and Alec now work on overthrowing Valentine and the Circle so the Downworld can be free and they can rule Idris themselves. Together.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 109
Kudos: 785
Collections: Jalec, Malace 101, September Server Scavenger Hunt 2020





	1. Preface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Valentine came to rule Idris with his loyal supporters by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to Monochromatize and Cindy for great beta work as always. Thanks so much to Brightasstars for the amazing story banner.  
> Thank you to Ma.Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the great artwork!  
> Warnings: Referenced killings, referenced infidelity, reference to Valentine's blood experiments, reference to discrimination against Downworlders

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Chapter 1: Preface

*** * * ***

Valentine stood on a small hill, taking in the sight of Alicante, the Silver City and capital of Idris, the home country of all Shadowhunters. His country. A cruel smile played on his lips when he thought back to the day of the Uprising, roughly nine months ago. The day he had taken control over the Shadow World while the Accord Halls had been painted red with the blood of his enemies, Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike.

His plan had been solid and well thought out; he had been planning this for ages. The ninth signing of the Accords, the peace treaty between the Downworld and the Clave, had been due. For this, Downworlders and Shadowhunters had to gather in the Accords Hall, where weapons were forbidden. His plan had been simple: The Circle would meet close by, all armed to the teeth. As soon as all Downworlders and Shadowhunters were inside, they would attack, cutting down anyone who was not in favor of them, no matter if they were Shadowhunters or Downworlders.

If it had not been for Maryse, his faithful follower, his plan would have failed though. She had discovered that his then wife Jocelyn had planned to deceive him and side with the enemy - together with his former best friend and parabatai, Lucian Greymark. But what else was to be expected from a Shadowhunter turned dog? Jocelyn’s betrayal however still cut deep. But he had dealt with her the way he would have dealt with every other traitor. He had killed her. And he had killed Lucian, but not before he had forced Lucian to watch Jocelyn take her last, painful breaths. Her death had not been an easy one. He had made her suffer, showing everyone what it meant to betray him, knowing he needed to make it clear what the price of betraying him was. Valentine had relished Luican’s tears and whimpers with a smile on his lips, before he had killed him with his bare hands. It was one of his fondest memories; his complete and final revenge against the people closest to him who had betrayed him.

He had rewarded Maryse with the title second in command - and with himself. Maryse was already married to Robert, but Valentine had no respect for him; he was a weak fool who obeyed Maryse in everything she did. His smile deepened a little when he thought of Maryse’s already swollen belly. She carried his child and was soon due, though he didn’t plan on acknowledging the child. Not just yet anyways. For now, the child could bear Robert’s name and be a Lightwood. Despite everyone else suspecting his affair with Maryse, Valentine knew Robert was none the wiser, still following his wife around like a lost puppy. Before Valentine would even consider letting anyone have his last name and have any official association to him, he wanted to know if they were worthy. So, he waited, wanting to see how this child developed, if it was worthy of being called _his_. He had high hopes, but wasn't sure if the child would meet them. Children could be such a disappointment.

Thanks to Maryse the Clave and the Downworld had been unaware of his plans to overthrow them. He had even given the Clave the chance to surrender to him willingly, without bloodshed - but the Clave had laughed in his face, not believing that he and his Circle could harm them and overpower the old system. Valentine had expected that and the way they had treated him had only fueled his determination. He had rallied his allies and they all had assembled close to the Accords Hall, hidden until all enemies were inside and all weapons were left behind.

The attack had been brutal and short. The Circle had killed many, all present Downworlders and most of the Shadowhunters. There had been no mercy for Valentine was not a forgiving man. The Circle suffered next to no losses, as only the Warlocks had had some kind of defense, but most Warlocks were no warriors and had been too surprised by the attack to put up much of a fight in the chaos of blood and screaming that had ensued. The Clave had stopped laughing at him after the attack that soon was known as the Uprising.

Valentine had held elections after that; he wanted his reign to be legally justified. Nearly no one had dared to vote against him, the few who had were no longer alive. He won a landslide victory and rewarded his loyal followers with key positions in his government, among them people like Maryse, the Herondales and Hodge. But most of the elite had supported him, liking the idea of being born superior, of being above the rest, so he had little trouble with filling his government with loyal and powerful people.

Valentine let his eyes roam over his city that lay peacefully under the radiant blue sky, the huge Demon Towers glowing in the sun. A bright future lay ahead of them with Shadowhunters ruling the Downworld as it was supposed to be. His smile reached his eyes when he thought of the experiment, he had set in motion that would further cement his people’s supremacy over the Downworld.

Céline Herondale, one of his most trusted followers, carried another child. He had managed to boost it with angel blood. The child would be the first to carry 100 percent pure angel blood in its veins, promising to give the child unique abilities beyond anything ever seen before. Depending on the way the child developed, it could be the beginning of a new, even more powerful race. It was a pity that he hadn’t had access to enough pure angel blood to do this when Maryse had been in the early stage of her pregnancy with his own child. But regret was for the weak. Céline and her child were the beginning of a new era, a new era of glory for his race. When it came to Maryse’s child; well, either it would live up to his expectations or he would never acknowledge it. He could always get more children, but he could never be associated with weakness. Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story please leave a kudos and a comment (or just a kudos). It would mean a lot to us. Thank you :)


	2. Getting To Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine comes to see what Alec can do. Alec and Jace meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to Monochromatize and Cindy for great beta work as always. Thanks so much to Brightasstars for the amazing story banner.  
> Thank you to Ma.Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the great artwork!  
> Chapter warnings: Referenced child abuse, referenced infidelity

_Please read chapter notes for chapter warnings_

# Chapter 1: Getting To Know You

Maryse and Robert spent the next 14 years trying to increase their influence and power. Maryse paid special attention to her first-born son, pushing him harder than anyone else. Rumor had it the child, Alexander Lightwood, was in fact Valentine's son, but no one dared to say it out loud - there surely was a reason why Valentine didn’t acknowledge him. And Valentine’s wrath was not something any Shadowhunter in their right mind took lightly.

However, when Robert heard the rumor when Alec was five years old, he was not just hard on Alec; he was cruel, as suddenly he saw all the optical similarities between Valentine and Alec. Unaware he was the living proof of his mother's infidelity Alec bore each punishment and demand with determination to do better and finally make his parents proud.

Valentine had no interest in the child as long as his skills were underdeveloped, and it was not yet predictable how high his potential truly was. When Alec turned fourteen Valentine decided to figure out if this child he had made with Maryse was worth his time and later his name.

Alec tried not to be nervous but how couldn't he be with Valentine coming and his parents telling him that he had asked for him of all people?

When the day came and Valentine and his generals arrived to visit his parents, Alec had hoped everyone would forget he existed. No such luck. Valentine had asked specifically for him almost as soon as he had arrived, a fact that had made Robert furious and his mother hopeful. He had brought along a blond haired boy that fascinated Alec as he was everything he wasn't; confident and sure in everything from the way he walked to the way he talked.

After some pleasantries Valentine had wanted to see Alec's skills. Alec had been sent ahead to the courtyard to set up a target and get his weapons. Alec had just finished setting up when Robert joined him.

Robert looked at Alec with both hate and frustration in his eyes, knowing Alec was his best access to Valentine and thus to power. If it had been a well-hidden secret, he might have been able to live with the fact that Maryse had cheated on him. Their marriage was not one of love, but of political alliances and it had never been anything else. He might not be the strongest person, but he had realized that fact and thus he had aimed for a bond to a strong personality like Maryse who could increase his influence. But now half the Shadow World seemed to know the rumor about Alec. Robert could barely look at the boy any longer. As the years had passed, he had started to loath Alec, even though it was not his fault. But loathing Maryse or even Valentine was not an option, and so he had to channel his anger, hate and insecurities somewhere, and Alec was an easy target.

"We both know you will likely fail this test," Robert told the nervous boy harshly.

Alec, who was standing next to him, winced at the words and ducked his head in shame.

"Yes, father," Alec replied meekly, looking at a spot on the ground, his cheeks red and warm.

"You know the punishment for that; I will flog you raw till you can't sit down for days!" Robert reminded him, smirking darkly when fear flashed in the boy's eyes as he clearly recalled previous floggings, convinced that fear would push the boy to perform better. It was after all how they had all been taught to become the best warriors, the best Shadowhunters they could be; brutal punishments for failing.

No matter what Robert felt about Alec, honor - and Valentine's wrath - prevented him from officially rejecting the boy. He saw only one purpose for Alec now; to honor the Lightwood name and gain power and favors for his family with Valentine. That meant Alec would need to be the best warrior possible. So Robert trained him mercilessly; his hatred of the fact that he was a bastard literally adding to his efforts. Despite his harsh training of the boy, Alec wasn't great; good but not great. Not like Céline’s son with his pure angel blood. Jace’s reputation shone bright and wide, the golden boy of Idris who could beat even adult Shadowhunters easily at the age of 13. Valentine's pride in Jace was well-known and Robert wanted Alec to replace him as Valentine's favourite so that favour would be extended to the whole Lightwood family. That meant matching Jace's skills, something that anyone logically knew wasn't possible due to Jace's pure angel blood, but that didn't stop Robert from trying.

The fact that Jace was held in such high regard in comparison to her oldest child resulted in Maryse sometimes thinking Robert was too soft on the boy; forgetting as well in the pursuit for power and glory through Alec, that the comparison with the child with pure angel blood was an unfair one. But then, when was life in Idris ever fair?

“If you at least try then I will let you apply iratzes after your punishment. Otherwise you will heal the mundane way and wear forever the scars of shame,” Robert warned in a sinister tone.

“I will do my best, father,” Alec swore, standing at parade rest, fighting to hide his fear.

Not long after that the guest of honor, Valentine, arrived along with Alec's mother. To his relief Alec saw he hadn't brought any of his allies or generals. He did bring the blond boy Alec had seen briefly earlier.

Alec started to show off his skills but was distracted not only by the critical look on his mother's face and the frown on Robert's, but also by the blond boy. He had recognized him at once. Jace Herondale; the best warrior in Idris and from a family that was as close to royalty as you could come in Idris and thus one Valentine enjoyed being closely affiliated with. He looked bored but there was something in his eyes that held Alec captive.

Valentine watched the boy train, a clear frown settling on his face. The boy was not bad. He was not really good. He was mediocre, average. Like any other normal Shadowhunter his age. There were few things Valentine hated more than being average. His frown deepened when the last throw Alec made with a throwing knife missed the bull’s eye by a complete inch. The way the boy’s shoulders slumped forward, making him look even smaller than he was, betrayed that he knew he had failed. The boy had been nervous from the start, blushing when he had been spoken to, unsure where to put his hands, stuttering and fighting to get words out. The awkwardness angered Valentine. This was supposed to be his son! Where was the power, the strength…the brutality? Alec was so far from meeting his demands, he could not even begin listing his flaws.

“Is that all he can do?” Valentine asked, unimpressed.

His eyes were still fixed on the boy – Alexander or Alec as he was called. What a hideous name; he would have come up with a much better one. He couldn’t stand the sight of the Lightwoods right now; they had failed in the simple task of turning the boy into a true soldier, a warrior, something he had succeeded in doing with Jace easily.

“He needs more practice,” Maryse said, a fact admitted with embarrassment and a hard look at her son for putting her in this position.

“Obviously,” Valentine commented dryly, arrogantly.

Why the Lightwoods had failed to do so by now was a mystery to him. If this boy were under his command, he wouldn’t let these failures slide. He would have taught him right from the start how a Shadowhunter fought and trained. If he was honest, he hadn’t expected much from Robert, a weak man who for years hadn’t even seen that the child he raised wasn’t his own. He had expected better from Maryse, though.

Alec blushed in embarrassment at the words.

“I will make sure he is properly punished for this failing,” Maryse assured Valentine, her annoyance with her son seeping into her tone.

She knew she had disappointed Valentine. She knew who would pay for that later. It was time that she took over Alexander’s training, Robert was obviously too easy on him.

Valentine nodded, only half paying attention, expecting as much. He waved at Jace, who had watched the display from a slight distance, his face a mask of indifference.

“Jonathan, show them how it’s done.”

Jace jumped into motion, picking up the throwing knives with his left hand that Alec had collected from the target and left on the ground next to him. He didn’t glance at the raven-haired boy or the Lightwoods as he positioned himself in line of the target, but he knew everyone was watching him.

He ignored the slight pang of jealousy that ran through his body. His own parents never cared to overlook his training, satisfied with the status reports his mentors at the Academy where Jace lived, or Valentine himself, gave them. His reports were always the best, Jace was on top of everything; but even this didn’t bring his parents to care. Mostly they were away anyway, busy running the Enclave in Southern America. But even when they were in Idris, all they cared for were politics and socializing with important Circle Members. They never cared about him. The Lightwoods at least seemed to take an interest in Alec's training; in him.

Jace threw the knives in rapid succession at the far away target, throwing all six knives he had picked up, hitting dead center with all of them, making the knives stand clustered together in the center of the target. When he turned to face his audience, he had a small arrogant smirk playing around his lips; he knew he had done well even before anyone spoke.

“Bullseye. Every time,” Robert said, impressed despite himself.

“Of course. And I expect exactly that from someone who’s my s…..who’s Maryse’s son,” Valentine said harshly, gesturing towards Alec who stood at the side, having watched Jace’s display with the knives with mesmerized adoration and fascination.

“I agree. I will see that his training is intensified. We have clearly been too soft on him,” Maryse said, her tone as cold as her eyes.

“Clearly,” Valentine commented dryly, an eyebrow raised mockingly. Everyone could see that the boy lacked proper training; _his_ kind of training.

“Alec, go wait by the door. I will deal with you later," Maryse warned, the threat, the promise of punishment, clear in her tone.

Alec nodded and ducked his head, trying to hide the blush her words evoked, shame and sadness at his failure making him have to fight to keep his emotions out of his eyes and face.

“Come here, Alexander,” Valentine commanded when the boy was about to pass him by to walk to the door to the house to wait there.

Alec froze briefly at the command, afraid of what Valentine might say. However, he quickly recovered and then walked towards Valentine with his gaze fixed to the ground, not daring to look up to meet the intense eyes that were scrutinizing him. 

“Yes, Sir?” Alec said as he stood at attention before him, his hands clasped behind his back.

Valentine took a hand to his chin and turned his face this way and that. Alec blushed at the humiliation but remained standing, unmoving. His cheeks burnt but he managed to hold his gaze steady.

“You’re not much to look at, are you?” Valentine snarled, unimpressed with what he saw. The boy was too skinny and his face too expressive. He reeked of weakness.

Alec sank as he forced himself to reply, “No, Sir.”

“I had such high hopes…” Valentine’s voice trailed away, briefly considering how things could be different if Jonathan were his true son. But in a way, he was his son. It was thanks to his inventiveness and his harsh training methods that Jonathan was who he was. A true Shadowhunter; strong and brutal. A warrior. Alec was in many ways a child still, despite being older than Jace. Another weakness that Valentine would have to rid him of.

“Sorry, Sir.” Alec was not even really sure what he was apologizing for, but did so anyway, feeling it was his responsibility; that he had failed somehow.

“Jonathan!” Valentine yelled unnecessarily loudly, his anger making his tone sharp and high.

Nearly disgusted, Valentine let go of Alec’s chin to turn to watch Jace. Alec bit his lip hard to avoid the tears from falling that had started to prickle in the corner of his eyes. Jace came over to stand before Valentine, his face not betraying any emotions.

“Yes?” Jace questioned.

“I want you to train Alexander. Get him into shape," Valentine ordered, making Jace instinctively nod in response to the command.

Valentine looked from Jace to Alec, sighing in annoyance when the boy couldn't meet his gaze.

"If he’s not performing any better when I come back to see him in three months you know what that means,” Valentine warned.

“Yes, I know. I will do my best with him,” Jace promised.

Jace’s voice was even and calm, though a small ball of anxiety had started to form at these words. He had never trained someone before. And he knew too well what failing Valentine meant. But at least the boy showed potential.

“See that you do. For his sake,” Valentine said darkly. He gave Jace a warning look as he added, “and for yours.”

“Of course,” Jace agreed at once, the ball in his stomach growing slowly.

Valentine nodded at that and with one last frustrated look at Alec he turned and walked over to talk to Maryse with Robert standing on the sidelines as always.

"I’m so sorry. I…” Alec started to babble nervously, his voice so low the grownups couldn't hear it.

Alec felt ashamed to be ordered to have the younger boy train him, humiliated.

In an instant the ball in Jace's stomach changed from fear to annoyance. This boy needed to toughen up if he - they - wanted to pass Valentine's challenge.

“Shut up and do precisely what I tell you. If you are as good as I think you can be, we might just both get through this,” Jace hissed, a warning clear in his eyes, his voice as low as Alec's.

“I will. I promise,” Alec swore, nodding to emphasize his words, wanting so badly to do well so he could finally please his parents.

“See that you do,” Jace warned. He gave Alec a dark look before he added, “I will take no pleasure from hurting you but if I have to in order to teach you so you may pass this test then I will.”

Contrary to his words, Jace’s voice had gone softer and so had his eyes. He had to remind himself that the other was just a boy, a kid - unlike him. He had always been just a soldier, a warrior. Never a child.

“I understand. I won't fail you,” Alec promised, looking up for the first time, meeting Jace's mismatched eyes that looked determined but not cold.

There lay something hidden between the determination in Jace's eyes, something Alec couldn't quite grasp. But it made a feeling stir inside him, a feeling that made Alec want to not fail Jace even more. And not just because he was afraid of Valentine's wrath, but because he wanted to see what those eyes looked like when they looked at him approvingly. Maybe even proud.

“Make sure you don't,” Jace warned, adding a lot lower a second later, “ _We_ will make sure you don't.”

***

Training with Jace was the hardest thing Alec had ever done. Jace started by teaching Alec the same way he had learned everything; intense, harsh, brutal and never-ending. What neither boy was aware of at the time was that the training had been doable for Jace as he had pure angel blood. Alec didn’t. What he did have was an iron will and a self-sacrificing trait that could rival that of a benevolent god.

Pain was nothing new to Alec. He was used to punishments when he failed; expected them. He knew he was a disappointment to his parents, and he fought every day to do better, be better. It didn't seem to help much but he always got back up. Jace seemed to admire that about him. His resilience. His fighting spirit.

What Alec was not used to was the tenderness he got after the pain. Not that Jace made a fuss about him or pampered him, but the way his cold fingers touched his skin, brushing shortly over his bruises before he pressed a stele to his skin to apply an iratze made Alec shiver. Not with pain, but with something else. It made Alec train even harder, but somehow it just didn’t work out the way he or Jace hoped.

After another frustrating training session that didn’t bring the longed-for success, Jace looked at Alec, contemplating, an eyebrow slightly raised.

“We need to find another weapon for you. This is not working,” Jace said, referencing Alec’s use of throwing knives as a key weapon.

Alec tried his best not to shrink at these words and looked down, his cheeks coloring in shame, but Jace noticed at once. He was in Alec’s space a second later and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at him.

“Alec, you need to start believing in yourself. You are good. In fact, I think you can be exceptional. We just need to find another angle. You will pass this test, do you hear me? _**We** _will pass it,” Jace told him warmly as he released his chin, his gaze holding Alec hostage.

“You should know me by now. I never fail,” Jace added with a wink and slight smirk.

At those teasing words a small smile spread over Alec’s face and Jace nodded approvingly and stepped out of his space again, making Alec feel oddly cold without the blond near.

After some moments of contemplating, Jace handed Alec a crossbow. But the crossbow was just as any other weapon Alec had tried. He was good with it; better than most Shadowhunters. But good wasn’t good enough for Valentine. They needed more. The next weapon they tried was an electro whip, but it didn’t match Alec’s fighting style at all. Jace measured Alec again, his eyes roaming shamelessly over Alec’s body with a scrutinizing gaze, before he chose a third weapon. A bow made of dark, smooth wood that lay heavy in the hands. But Alec was tall, it fit his height perfectly. The moment Alec nocked an arrow and drew, something seemed to click into place. Alec felt calmer, more confident than with any other weapon he had ever held in his hands. He released the arrow and it hit the target - not spot on, but for the first try he was good. Better than good; he was exceptional.

Jace smiled at him, a radiant smile that reached his eyes instantly, making them glow nearly golden. Alec drew in a shaky breath, instantly smiling back, feeling warmth wash over him at seeing the other boy’s satisfaction with his actions. Alec forced himself to focus on the second arrow. Soon his world narrowed down to nocking, drawing, releasing. It was a steady rhythm Alec could get lost in. He didn’t feel the strain in his shoulders from the effort to hold the heavy bow steady and high in the air. He didn't feel the strain in his arm. He didn’t feel the blood dripping from his hands, cut by his relentless efforts to draw back the bowstring over and over again. He just felt the calming weight of the bow, the soothing satisfaction when he got better and faster and foremost he felt Jace’s proud smile on his back, urging him on, making him perform better than he ever had before.

_End of part 2_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story please leave a kudos and a comment (or just a kudos). It would mean a lot to us. Thank you :)


	3. Flourishing In Your Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Jace's growing friendship and protection Alec survives being trained by Valentine and bullied at the Academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to Monochromatize and Cindy for great beta work as always. Thanks so much to Brightasstars for the amazing story banner.  
> Thank you to Ma.Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the great artwork!  
> Chapter warnings: Referenced child abuse (scars and wounds mentioned) and very intense training. Verbal abuse. Bad words/bullying. Beating. Bad parents all around. VERY protective Jace to make up for it though ;)  
> Also, hints of sexual desire/flirting (very very mild).

_Please read chapter notes for chapter warnings_

# Chapter 3: Flourishing In Your Light

When finally the day of Alec’s evaluation dawned, the boys prepared carefully. They set up the targets at different distances so that Alec could start with the nearer ones to warm up with the audience and finish with one placed in the farthest corner of the training area. Alec had been nervous even the day before and had barely slept. He was the first on the range and fiddled with his bow when Jace showed up, the usual swagger hiding his own nervousness. 

“You’ll do great,” Jace assured him.

Jace smiled at Alec, but Alec just looked down, his anxiety radiating from him. 

Jace stepped forward until they stood only inches apart, his closeness and the weight of his piercing eyes making Alec look up.

“You’ll do great,” Jace reemphasized. “Do you hear me?” His voice was soft and gentle, but his eyes kept having an intense and slight gleam that made Alec want to believe him. 

Alec nodded shyly, rubbing his sweaty hands on his pants. 

“I’ll do great,” Alec dutifully repeated, smiling a bit at Jace's faith in him, feeling a rare warmth running through his body.

Alec's smile deepened when he saw Jace’s approving grin.

And he did great. Though he was nervous, he hit every target spot on, and his speed was also satisfying. He looked at Jace for confirmation and his shoulders relaxed instantly when he saw Jace nod approvingly with a proud gleam in his eyes. Even his parents who were in the crowd seemed...well, at least not displeased which was high praise from them. They didn’t look happy either, their eyes fixed on Valentine, clearly reserving their judgement of his skills till Valentine had spoken on the matter so they could support whatever he said.

But it was not Jace or his parents Alec needed to impress, it was Valentine. The crowd had given a subdued applause which was a great achievement for skills demonstrated with any long-range weapon, making both boys optimistic of Valentine's judgement. The crowd had now dispersed and Alec was almost done picking up his arrows, his bow still in one hand. His parents had remained, walking towards where Valentine and Jace were standing.

“So? What do you think?” Jace asked when Alec was done, his eyes fixed on Valentine, fighting not to show his anxiety. 

Jace was not easily scared, but even he feared Valentine’s wrath that was harsh and unforgiving. He also didn’t fear it for himself, but for Alec. Even though he hadn’t thought it possible at the beginning, he had grown attached to the older boy. There was just something about his quietness and serenity that made Jace feel protective. The way he always stood up again whenever he got knocked down to just try harder was something Jace had learned to value. 

He had also soaked Alec’s admiration up like a sponge, as it was a different kind of admiration than what he had been shown previously in his life. Of course, Alec admired his skills just as every other Shadowhunter in Idris, but Jace felt _seen_ for the first time. Not just for the warrior he was, but also for the person behind that warrior. Something no one else seemed to see or care about, not Valentine and definitely not his parents who were more absent than present anyway. 

“He has improved. I have to admit that,” Valentine said slowly, nearly against his will. 

Just then Alec had reached Valentine and Jace, his quiver with his arrows on his back and his bow in hand. He couldn't help but smile when he heard Valentine's words, a lump in his throat at finally hearing such words from Valentine of all people.

“Thank you, Sir,” Alec said, surprised, relieved but moved at the praise, giving Jace a thankful look.

“But I guess you can only do so much when you work with imperfect materials,” Valentine added darkly, talking over Alec’s head as if he weren’t even there.

Alec's heart fell at the dark words, his hope shattered. He shared a look with Jace filled with confusion and shock at the harsh judgment from Valentine. Alec had to fight an embarrassed blush, feeling hurt and wounded at the words when he had just thought he had finally done well.

“He hit the bullseye every time,” Jace reminded Valentine, trying not to show his puzzlement nor his growing fear for what consequences Valentine’s displeasure would have. 

Jace didn’t really understand why Valentine was not more pleased. Alec had hit the target every time, he had shot with high speed and confidence. There really was nothing wrong with his performance.

“He did,” Valentine agreed, nodding slowly. He did a dismissive hand wave at Jace as he said evenly, “Don’t worry, Jonathan. You did your job.” 

Jace couldn't keep the relief out of his eyes or expression no matter how much he tried. It was true that he healed faster than other Shadowhunters with his pure angel blood, yet Valentine’s punishments hurt him like it did every other person. The pain was the same.

“Some things you just have to do yourself,” Valentine concluded, annoyance clear in his voice.

“What?!” Jace got out, cold sweat running over him, getting very unnerved by the darkness he saw in Valentine’s face, the disgust in his eyes when he looked at Alec. 

“Alexander will come live with me for a while. That should help toughen him up. Shooting with a bow from a distance is fine for a coward, but not for my...” Valentine managed to stop himself in time, quickly saying, “Maryse’s son. For any real Shadowhunter, actually. A bow is a weak weapon, for a weak warrior,” Valentine declared firmly, his eyes narrowing in displeasure and annoyance when he looked at Alec.

Jace was shaken by the words; he had chosen the bow for Alec, not knowing Valentine would consider it a weak weapon. Valentine might be ok with his performance but Jace wasn't; he had been told to train Alec and he had failed because Valentine wasn’t pleased with him.

“But...You didn’t have time to have me living with you or even train with me when my parents moved away from Alicante; you told me it was better I stayed at the Academy because you are always busy. Surely it would be better if I kept training him and…” Jace tried, almost desperate but making sure to keep a calm and even tone. 

Though Jace hadn’t known Alec for a very long time, he felt protective towards him. Alec was not like him; he was different. Sensitive. Having him stay with Valentine...he shuttered inwardly at the thought. He also felt responsible, it had been him who had given Alec the bow, not fathoming that this would be held against Alec.

“Shut up, Jonathan!” Valentine warned, interrupting Jace and making the boy fall silent at once. Just then Maryse and Robert reached them, looking expectantly at Valentine to hear his judgement. “I will give Alexander my special attention for a few months. See if that works. If not…” Valentine’s expression darkened and he did a dismissive hand gesture as he said, “Well, then nothing ever will.”  
  


“I really don't think…” Jace tried again, not giving in so easily. He was used to getting what he wanted and he really feared for Alec. 

“Jonathan, one more word out of you and you will regret it,” Valentine warned, having lost his patience with the blond’s objections to his plans. He cast a look at Alec before adding, “Or rather _he_ will when I am back from work tonight.”

That made Jace shut up instantly, his lips a thin line, refusing to put Alec in a bad situation with Valentine. 

“Mother?” Alec asked, unsure what was going on but from Jace's reaction he really didn't want to go live with Valentine for a few months. He felt the blond’s distress and worry as if it was his own, and he knew living with Valentine had to be really bad for Jace to show such emotions as he knew the other boy well enough by now to know he rarely showed such strong feelings. 

“Alec, this will be good for you,” Maryse insisted. Her eyes filled with disappointment but also hope as her eyes went from Valentine to Alec as she added, “A few months of harsh discipline will sort you out.”

“Or as Valentine said; then nothing will,” Robert remarked darkly, giving Maryse a meaningful look that she ignored.

Alec fought to hide the pain his parents’ uncaring words brought him. He gulped and did what he always did. He fought. He stood up straighter; he could do this. He would make them proud. This time he wouldn’t fail. He couldn’t. It was his last chance.

“I will do my best,” Alec swore, trying to ignore the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that he got from the look Jace was casting him when he thought no one was looking. 

Jace had never showed he cared for him as clearly as Alec felt he did now. He could have sworn he saw something in Jace’s eyes; something that made his heart flutter in an unusual way. He fought it down and focused on Maryse’s approving nod at his words.

“Let’s hope that will be enough,” Robert couldn’t help but add.

His words made Alec wince and mentally recoil but he fought to stand up straight, keeping his stance as perfect as it could be. Yet his hand tightened almost painfully around the bow and his free hand clenched into a fist as he fought to keep his expression as emotionless as possible.

“We will look in on Jonathan during that time,” Maryse promised, giving Jace a fond look filled with admiration. “He’s such a perfect soldier.”

Jace rolled his eyes inwardly, but not letting any emotion cross his face. Of course they just saw him as a soldier. If not even his own parents saw anything else in him, no one would. With the exception maybe of Alec… His eyes darted to the raven-haired boy who still clutched the bow in his hands. Jace sighed silently as he felt another wave of protectiveness towards Alec wash over him. 

“He is,” Valentine agreed, giving Jace a satisfied look.

Alec fought to hide his shame at hearing the younger boy so praised in comparison to him, but didn’t quite succeed. Jace noticed it. With a questioning gaze towards Valentine who nodded curtly at him, giving him permission to leave, Jace gathered his things to leave the training room. There was nothing he could do here anymore; the battle was over and they had lost. He was about to give up, let it go, when an idea came to him. He could try to help Alec from afar. While he lived at the Academy, Alec attended a few courses. They weren’t in the same classes due to the age difference, but they could meet there in the breaks.

Before Jace could think twice or contemplate why he made the decision, he made a small detour that went unnoticed by the adults in the room, nodding for Alec to move a bit away from Robert, Maryse and Valentine who were talking about the practicalities of Alec now staying with Valentine. Alec looked puzzled but stepped trustingly a bit away from the adults and over to Jace. 

“Alec, I will look for you at the Academy. Come find me. I will try and help you through this,” Jace whispered, his voice barely audible. 

Alec gave him a confused and slightly fearful look, getting very scared now. Why would he need help getting through staying a few months with Valentine? Was it not a good thing Valentine was going to give him special attention? It was an honor. Wasn't it? Jace had after all flourished under Valentine’s special attention. Why wouldn’t he?

“Ok,” Alec whispered back, his voice as low as Jace’s had been. 

Jace strolled over to the exit, the usual swagger in his movements, his inner turmoil well-hidden as always. Alec watched Jace as he walked away, feeling oddly cold and empty without his presence. 

***

It had been two days now since Valentine had decided that Alec should live with him under his command. At least he allowed him to attend the Academy during mornings and afternoons. But Jace knew how long early mornings with Valentine could be. How painful. And he didn’t want to start thinking of how long a night could be. So when Alec hadn’t shown up as promised the day before, his worries had increased. He had looked for him at the Academy but had seen him just briefly, surrounded by others and as quickly gone as he had appeared. A pang of relief flooded his body when he saw a familiar shock of brown hair in the hallway on the second day.

“Alec!” Jace yelled, catching up with him, stopping him forcefully with a hand under his elbow after he had checked they were alone in the hallway. 

Alec was avoiding his eyes and tried to pull out of his grasp, making Jace very worried.

“You didn't come find me yesterday,” Jace accused, a frown on his face. 

“Sorry. I was...busy,” Alec mumbled, blushing in shame, looking down.  
  


“Alec, are you alright?” Jace asked alarmed, his mind quickly going to his own experiences with what training with Valentine entitled.

Alec nodded at once but still avoided his eyes.

“Yes. Of course,” Alec replied quickly. Too quickly.

Jace sighed, seeing right through the lie. Alec had never been good at lying; not to him at least.

“Where are you hurt?” Jace insisted, looking intensely at him as he tried to spot any injuries. 

Alec looked drained and pale, tired. Jace knew what that meant; Valentine was testing Alec's endurance and resilience. It would only get worse. 

“Let go of me!” Alec demanded, feeling ashamed, trying more forcefully to pull his arm free but Jace's eyes lit up golden and Alec couldn't pull free as Jace had activated his runes. 

“I’m fine! I’m not weak," Alec insisted, unaware that his voice was shaking slightly from repressed emotions.

“Stop being so goddamn stubborn and show me your injuries," Jace demanded, his concern making his voice sound hard and commanding.

“No!” Alec insisted, shaking his head at him, biting his lower lip in embarrassment.  
  


“Alec, I won't ask again,” Jace said strongly, a clear warning in his voice.

“I’m not weak,” Alec whispered and though his voice was barely audible, he managed to at least keep it steady.

Jace’s temper cooled down in the face of Alec’s inner turmoil.

“And I didn’t ask if you were weak, I asked if you were injured. Do you think I have never been injured?” Jace asked softly, a hint of remembered pain in his voice.

Alec looked at him, for the first time since Jace had grabbed his elbow, he truly looked at him. There was no pity in Jace’s eyes, only genuine concern. It made Alec give in, having never wanted to lie to Jace to begin with.

Alec huffed, but he lifted his shirt to show Jace the cuts that went in a zig zag line across his torso. They were not particularly deep, but Jace knew they hurt; he recognized the injury and remembered the pain too well.

“Let me guess, you are not allowed to use an iratze. You should heal the mundane way,” Jace said, the words more a statement than a question, a knowing look in his eyes as he fought down the memories of his own punishments. 

Alec’s blush that had briefly retreated appeared again.

“Yes. He said as I am weak like a mundane I should heal that way,” Alec got out, his voice low as he looked down in embarrassment at admitting to it.

Jace just rolled his eyes. His grip around Alec’s elbow loosened when he leaned in, his lips brushing against Alec’s ear.

“Meet me later in my room. After the afternoon lessons and before you have to get back to Valentine. But make sure no one sees you. And make sure that you come this time. I won’t push my help where it is not wanted and when you don’t want it, fine. But then you have to handle it alone,” Jace warned. 

There was an edge to Jace’s voice that betrayed his words, and edge Alec had not heard before but made it clear that Jace wanted him to accept his help. And maybe it was ok to ask for help. When the other offered, why shouldn’t he take it? It was the smarter choice. With Jace as an ally, or even a friend, he was stronger and more likely to get through this ordeal without permanent damage. And wasn’t being smarter also a sign of strength? So Alec nodded, accepting the offer. He put his hand over Jace’s and squeezed it once to emphasize his choice and the small jolt that ran through him when their hands met made his stomach curl in anticipation. Jace’s eyes flashed shortly with an emotion Alec didn’t recognize, before he also nodded. Alec felt almost disappointed when Jace pulled away and left. 

***

Jace lay on his bed, fidgeting with his stele. He should go over his school assignments for the next day but couldn’t quite concentrate on it. A tentative knock pulled Jace out of his thoughts. He had been fairly sure that Alec would show up, but he couldn’t help the small pang of relief rushing through his body when he heard the knock. He stood up to open the door quietly to let Alec in.

The raven-haired boy stepped in, looking calmer than before. His movements showed that he was still hurting, but he didn’t look so lost any more.

“Sit on the bed and take off your shirt,” Jace ordered, not wasting time with pleasantries.

Jace wiggled his eyebrows and smirked when he saw the faint blush that colored Alec’s cheeks when he said it. He turned and walked to get the things he needed to treat Alec, turning his back on the older boy, expecting him to follow. 

Alec closed the door and went towards the bed. He hesitated, aware Jace would see his old scars as well as his new ones. All marks of shame, of weakness he had been told. He didn’t want Jace to think of him as weak, to see his shame. However, Jace seemed to expect his compliance. With a soft, pained groan Alec discarded his shirt and sat on the edge of the bed, looking down as he blushed, his hands in his lap, feeling vulnerable as he was the only one who was half undressed. 

Jace fetched a small pot with a white lotion before he settled down next to Alec on the bed.

“You have old scars,” Jace observed with a calm acceptance that made Alec relax a bit.

“My father sometimes punished me this way after my mother accused him of being too soft on me,” Alec explained, blushing even more at admitting it. “He didn’t let me use a healing rune to emphasize his point, I guess.”

Jace’s eyes hardened at that. “Parents are the worst.” He ran with his thumb over one of Alec’s old scars, the touch soft and gentle, sending a shiver through Alec. Then he pulled himself together.

“Let’s see that these new wounds won’t scar then,” Jace remarked as he unscrewed the pot. 

“What’s that?” Alec asked suspiciously, eying the lotion guarded and hesitantly. “I’m not allowed to use anything and you know what he will do if he catches me,” Alec reminded Jace with a hint of fear. 

Alec hadn't been with Valentine long but he had quickly learned to fear his punishments.

Jace smiled briefly and gave Alec's nearest arm a comforting squeeze. 

“Do you trust me, Alec?” Jace asked seriously. 

The question caught Alec a little off guard. Did he? He gulped but even if he didn’t really know why he did, he trusted Jace. Fully.

“Yes,” Alec admitted softly, licking sudden dry lips.

The short and sure answer made Jace pause in his actions, pleased but puzzled by the response. Their eyes locked.

“Why?” Jace asked as he gave Alec a searching look. 

Alec blushed and looked away for a moment.

“I don’t know really. But I do,” Alec replied with a shrug, struggling to explain it. He paused before he admitted ever so softly, honestly, “The way you cared about me while you trained me. I know this was more than you not wanting to be punished on my behalf. I know you really cared about me. And now you still do. So yes, I trust you.” 

_And please don’t make me regret it,_ Alec wanted to add but left it unsaid, only Alec's heart and eyes communicating the almost desperate plea.

Jace nodded, smiling softly at hearing Alec's words, hearing both his spoken and unspoken words. He would make sure that Alec wouldn’t regret them.

“Why do you care, Jace?” Alec asked curiously, a bit afraid of the answer, afraid to be told Jace didn't truly care.

Jace was silent for a while, giving the question serious consideration. 

“You know, everyone looks at me and admires me. My strength. My skills. My ruthlessness. But no one sees behind that. No one cares to see who I am. My parents are never around, as long as I am still their perfect little soldier, they don’t give a shit about what I do. And so is Valentine. He just wants my abilities. I am just an experiment to him,” Jace said honestly, a rare vulnerability and hidden pain in his words that made Alec want to hug him. To stop himself from doing so Alec folded his hands in his lap.

Jace gave him a fond look as he admitted, “But with you I have for the first time the feeling that you care for _me.”_

Alec nodded shyly. “I do. I mean I admire your strength…”

“My powers are part of me, they shaped me. But they are **not** all I am,” Jace warned, interrupting him, a hint of anger in his tone, of hurt.

Alec nodded, putting a hesitant hand on Jace’s knee, happy when he didn't pull back.

“I know. Like I am not all my weaknesses,” Alec replied, giving him a small hopeful smile, wanting to believe that Jace saw it the same way.

“You’re not weak, Alec. And one day you’ll see that. One day you’ll see the strength you hold. But now, let’s focus on your wounds,” Jace insisted, looking closely at Alec's wounds, touching a few tenderly, making Alec hiss in pain.

Their eyes met and Alec blushed in shame at the wounds; the sign of his weakness. 

“Valentine punished me as well when I failed something and though I heal faster with my angel blood, I didn’t like to wait for the mundane way to kick in," Jace explained, fighting not to recall the painful memories as he spoke. 

“I bought this lotion from a Warlock,” Jace went on, showing it to Alec who looked curiously at it.

“It makes the wounds heal faster but they still look like they healed naturally - with the advantage that they won’t scar. It stings a bit, but it really helps,” Jace ended with saying. 

Alec hissed lightly when Jace applied the lotion, it really burnt as he had warned it would. But the burn was overlain by the feeling of Jace’s gentle hands on his skin. He was glad that no new scars would add to the ones his father had left on him. He still felt the shame and betrayal burning inside him at the thought of his father punishing him and denying him an iratze afterwards. It was somehow different when Valentine did these things to him. It felt worse to be treated by the man who had raised him like he didn’t matter at all than by a stranger.

“Can I come to you if I need help? With this or something else?” Alec asked shyly, hopefully, when Jace had finished applying the lotion to all his wounds.

Alec had never asked for help before, but instead of feeling weak for asking, he felt stronger. And the smile he got in return for asking showed him how much Jace appreciated the question.

“Of course Alec. I want you to come to me,” Jace assured him with a warm smile.

Jace jumped to his feet, rummaging through his bedside drawer for something, making Alec look curiously at him. Jace looked triumphant when he found what he was looking for and walked back over to Alec.

“Here, I have something for you,” Jace said as he dropped something in Alec’s lap. 

A frown settled on Alec’s face as he picked up the device and looked closely at it.

“What’s that?” Alec asked, waving the device at Jace, seeing that Jace had a similar device in his other hand.

“I’m sure you know what a cell phone is,” Jace just couldn’t help himself but tease Alec, the way the other blushed was just too tempting.

“But a cell doesn’t work in Idris,” Alec protested.

“Well, this one does. I’ve bought it at the Shadow Market as well. A particular powerful Warlock put a spell on it, so it works also in the boundaries of Idris,” Jace explained when he sat back down next to Alec.

“How do you get these things? And do you really want to give one to me?” Alec asked in wonder and awe.

Jace winked at him, a smug smile playing on his lips. 

“I have my resources. Being Valentine’s experiment also has its perks. And no one really cares what I do when I have completed my training, so it’s easy to slip out. There are only these two, so we can text. But you have to hide it. I don’t think we want to find out what Valentine or another adult thinks of them,” Jace warned, waving his own cell phone at Alec. 

Alec closed his hand around the tiny cell. It was an old one, a flip phone. Easier to hide than the huge smartphones. Longer battery duration. Jace tossed him the matching charger and Alec’s instinct kicked in and he caught it mid-air. He was still a little speechless, but a warm feeling spread inside him he had barely felt before. He would get through this. He was not alone anymore. 

***

Though Alec hated to admit it, he truly would have been lost without Jace. Alec wasn’t used to the constant drilling and harsh training routines the Academy used to train future Centurions and the Nephilim elite in general. He had been trained by private tutors and his father, and though they had never gone easy on him, this was the next level. It was more like training with Jace, but without the aftercare. And without the knowledge that he meant something to the person screaming at him, pushing him to do better, to work harder. 

What was even worse was the time he spent with Valentine. Valentine was merciless. He didn’t care how much Alec was physically hurting, how little he had slept or how tired he was. How much blood was running down his body or how many broken bones he had. He wanted to make Alec a second Jace, without contemplating that this was not possible. In Alec’s veins ran the blood of regular Shadowhunter, not pure angel blood like in Jace’s. But Valentine nevertheless expected the same achievements Jace seemed to reach so easily, because Alec was **his** son and thus **his** blood was in his veins. Valentine despised weakness of any kind and in particular weakness associated with him, so Alec had to be the best; his blood in Alec’s veins had to make him great! And therefore Alec got punished for every failure. Severely. Mercilessly. After every punishment Alec got back up to his feet, trying anew to fulfill Valentine’s demands that he knew he could never reach. But he tried anyway. 

The times Valentine requested Jace’s presence during his training were cherished ones for Alec. He knew that Jace tried to make him look better. Just subtle, little things not even Valentine noticed. But Alec did. He held on to these things to live through just another ordeal.

What hurt even more than the physical punishments were Valentine’s words. When Valentine looked at him with his brown eyes that lacked every hint of warmth, a frown on his face and disgust clearly written all over his face, Alec felt himself shrink. Every time Valentine spat words like useless, worthless, pathetic at him, he shrank a little more, until he himself was unsure what and if something of his true self was left in the body that was tormented to achieve the impossible. He couldn’t even say what hurt more, the actual words or the look on Valentine’s face when he scrutinized him, shaking his head once more, closing his eyes for a tiny moment before they looked at him even colder than before.

Alec was brought back from his musings when Valentine finally spoke to give his evaluation of Alec's latest test. He was standing at parade rest, his hands fists, trying hard not to show his nervousness. Despite all evidence to the contrary a small piece of Alec kept hoping that this time Valentine would be if not kind then at least not upset, not cruel. As soon as Valentine was about to speak Alec knew any such hopes were long gone. Fear made Alec sweat even before Valentine said a word, his mind already remembering earlier punishments and fearing a repeat performance. 

“My hopes for you were so high, Alexander. So high,” Valentine said with a disappointed shake of his head.

Alec bit his lip forcefully to be able to stare back at the man who clearly despised him. 

“I’m sorry Sir. I try…” Alec got out, nervous and fearful as he always was these days around Valentine after knowing each encounter would just lead to physical or emotional pain. Often both. 

Valentine sighed annoyed.

“That is the problem, Alexander. You try. Whereas Jonathan just does. But you will never be like Jonathan, will you? I truly cannot understand how you have turned out to be so weak. With Maryse’s blood, with **my** blood in your veins, you should rise and shine like a star. But all you are is a disgrace to my name and your mother’s,” Valentine said cruelly, his words like knives tearing into Alec's heart.

Alec drew in a sharp breath in shock, his fingernails digging brutally into his palms to keep his emotions in check. After he had started attending the Academy, he had heard the rumors. But to hear it out of Valentine’s mouth that he truly was his son was another thing. Especially when it was accompanied by insults that hurt more than Alec would ever want to admit. They hurt more than the broken fingers he just had been allowed to heal this morning, they hurt more than his father’s - Robert’s - flogging that had caused the scars on his back. He felt the heat rise in his body and even though he fought against it, he knew his cheeks started to color. He hated that he had no control over it. He hated that it made him look even weaker than he was. 

“I…” he started to say, but was lost how to continue the sentence.

“Go to your room. One of my men will come and deal with you later,” Valentine ordered harshly.

He was unable to look at Alec a moment more, the emotions on his face, the tears he fought to control, were just disgusting. So weak! So pathetic. Without looking back, Valentine turned on his heels, leaving Alec alone in the training room.

Alec cast his eyes down in shame before he tried to straighten his back again. Valentine didn’t even bother to deal with him on his own anymore, leaving it to his men to punish him. Alec knew he shouldn’t be upset by this, but he was. The impersonal punishment by a random underling felt even worse than when Valentine executed it. 

Alone in his room, sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for his punishment, Alec felt truly that. Alone. He had to swallow hard around the lump in his throat to not let the tears fall, to not prove the others right. That he was weak. Pathetic. A disgrace. He understood now why his father had always treated him the way he had done. Probably he knew. Probably everyone knew, except him. It was hard to think of his father as Robert now, but it was impossible as well to think of Valentine as his father. Alec felt betrayed, angry and hurt. Especially by his mother who must have known all along who his true father had been. She had lied to him his whole life. And now his real father didn’t want to be associated with him, didn’t believe he was even worth a try anymore. Despite his efforts to be strong, he felt a single tear run down his face. Angrily he rubbed at it when the cell on the bedside table started to vibrate. Jace. It had to be. No one else had the number. No one else knew he had the phone. Unable to help himself Alec picked up the cell at once and looked at the text message.

*Hey. What’s up? Haven’t heard from you all day.*

Alec quickly read the text and despite himself a small smile tugged on his lips. But he couldn’t reply, not just yet. His feelings were still all over the place, still shocked at hearing Valentine was his father. He had thought the rumors had just been people who had despised his parents, trying to create a conflict. But it had turned out to be true. With a sigh he closed the cell and put it in his lap. A couple of minutes later it vibrated again and again Alec just couldn’t help himself, and checked the text message he had gotten at once.

*Alec?*

Alec stared at the question. A warmth spread in his belly, but he didn’t feel like answering. The truth of being Valentine’s son still felt too heavy, too heavy to voice aloud. But also too heavy to just ignore and not talk about it. But how could he tell Jace? He couldn’t speak with him and not tell him. Often he felt like Jace just seemed to know what he was thinking.

But Jace was not someone who let himself be ignored. Instead of a new text arriving, the cell started to ring. _Unkown_ _Number_ was stated on the display, but Alec knew it could only be Jace calling. Though he didn’t feel like talking, he picked up, unable to ignore the pull, the desire to hear Jace’s voice.

“Don’t you fucking dare try to ignore me, Alec Lightwood! I know you have read my messages,” Jace schooled angrily as soon as Alec put the cell to his ear. 

Alec just rolled his eyes, but fondly. The lump diminished a little, but it still was hard to breath around it. 

“You can’t know that. There is no reading confirmation,” Alec reminded him.

“Oh Alec, I know you read them. I know you and I know the daily routine there. Like I know that you are in your room right now,” Jace said evenly, confidently.

Alec didn’t reply but felt weirdly honored and happy Jace cared enough to know.

There was a pause before Jace added in a darker tone filled with warning, “Don’t lie to me. Ever. Understood?”

Alec blinked, unshed tears starting to prickle again at knowing someone cared; really cared how he felt. Someone who didn’t want a lie so they could pretend everything was ok and just move on. That Jace cared. He nodded, but didn’t manage to say anything.

“I asked if you understood,” Jace repeated more strongly this time.

Jace’s tone was demanding but held a care in that strength that Alec clung to, longed for. He couldn’t do anything else but to obey.

“Yes,” Alec whispered hoarsely, biting his lip afterwards to contain himself. He was not weak. He wouldn’t cry.

“Good.” Jace’s voice was soft suddenly, nearly tender. “I’ll tell you now about my day and then you will tell me what is bothering you.”

Alec sighed relieved and he settled back down on the bed, the cell pressed to his ear as if it was his lifeline. To just hear Jace’s voice soothed him. He didn’t really pay attention to what Jace was saying and he also knew that Jace didn’t care. This was not about Jace’s day, it was about him getting calmer. And it worked. The lump in Alec’s throat, his stomach, his soul, got smaller and finally he could breathe again. When Jace ended, there was a short silence between them. But it was not an awkward one, it was a mutual one that made Alec finally speak. 

“He hates me,” Alec’s voice was low and soft. He hated how weak it sounded.

Jace snorted as he remarked darkly, “Name me someone Valentine doesn’t hate.”

Alec’s eyes narrowed down, a piercing gleam in them as he just said, “You.”

Jace just smirked as he added with his trademark of arrogance and humor, “Of course he loves me. Everyone does.” 

“Yes.” Alec nodded at that, in complete agreement with the statement.

Seeing his words didn’t even make Alec laugh a little made Jace get serious again. 

“He doesn't care for me at all, you know that right?” Jace asked him, his voice warm. “He just loves that he can show me off.” Jace didn’t even feel hurt about that fact anymore; it was what it was. His tone was questioning as he asked, “And why do you even care what he thinks, Alec?”

Alec closed his eyes briefly as he whispered so lowly Jace barely heard him, his voice filled with pain and dismay as he managed to say, “He is my father.” 

It hurt so much to say these words about a man who so clearly despised him.

“So... he told you,” Jace concluded after a small pause. 

Alec gave the cell in his hand a shocked look as he got out, “You knew.” 

Even tough Alec tried, he couldn’t keep the hurt out of his tone. The betrayal. How long had Jace known? Had he always known? Did everyone but he know? How they must have laughed at him for his stupidity at not knowing, at being so weak his own father rejected him.

“Well, I heard rumors and once I overheard Maryse talking to him in private and it seemed to confirm the rumors. But I was never 100 percent sure!” Jace insisted. He paused before he added more softly, “But this doesn’t change anything, Alec. It’s not important.”

“It is. It changes everything,” Alec insisted, sounding desperate. He bit his lower lip, his eyes filled with pain as he asked almost childlike, “Shouldn’t he like me somehow?”

“Do **you** like him all of the sudden?” Jace challenged, shaking his head lightly in disbelief. “Believe me, I would love to think that all parents just like their children. The fact is, they don’t. They like us when we deliver, if not...”

Alec sank, fighting tears as his cheeks heated in shame as Jace left his sentence hang there between them, both of them knowing what he meant.

“And I never deliver. I’m just too weak,” Alec whispered brokenly, his voice filled with self-hatred.

Jace swore lightly under his breath as he objected, “You know that is not what I meant.”

“I’m just nothing like him. No wonder he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me,” Alec said, his voice filled with disgust and discrimination.

“And be glad that you aren’t, Alec. You wouldn’t want to be like him,” Jace remarked darkly.

They were silent for a while, just listening to the breathing of the other.

“It just hurts,” Alec admitted so softly the words were barely audible.

“I know. It really does. Parents suck. All of them,” Jace said sympathetically. He then paused before he went in a strong voice, “But let’s focus on how to get you through the rest of your stay…”

Alec listened again, Jace’s steady voice and care a greater comfort than the blond could imagine. Or maybe he could.

***

At first the time at the Academy had been Alec’s respite despite the harsh training methods. But he had been able to be with Jace which had made all the difference. Alec had stayed true to his word and so had Jace. Whenever Alec was injured and not allowed to use a healing rune, he had sought out Jace in his room who had tended to them, applying several different lotions and ointments he had bought over time from Warlocks on the Shadow Market.

Also, the texting helped. The cell quickly became Alec’s most precious possession. It was mostly short texts, encouraging words, a small banter. Nothing too meaningful but it lit up Alec’s world. Especially when the other students picked up on who he was. 

Some of the other students came from families who loathed Valentine, but didn’t dare go against him directly - so they went against Alec, the unacknowledged bastard. Even more joined in when they saw Alec’s scars on his back, the ones Robert had left on him. They considered them a weakness, a disgrace. He saw it in their eyes, even in the ones of those who didn’t say anything. Only Jace viewed them differently. Jace saw them as a sign of strength, of his ability to endure anything and pull through it. But Jace was not always around.

The other students would try and corner Alec, gang up on him. Despite what they wanted him to believe, no one dared to go against him alone. He might be an archer, but he was also used to Valentine’s special training methods and he was Jace’s sparring partner. Alec knew how to fight in one-on-one combat. But against four or five, he didn’t stand a chance. Normally Alec would try and make sure he wasn’t alone anywhere with the other students, that he stayed in large groups or near the instructors. Today was such a day when it hadn’t been possible. After training the instructor had talked briefly with Alec before he had left. Alec had tried to be quick about gathering his things before anyone would come into the room and find him alone there. No such luck. 

“Lightwood,” the dark way his name was spoken promised pain.

If the voice wasn't enough for Alec to pause in the middle of the otherwise empty room than nothing would have. Alec slowly turned towards the voice, his body tense and his hands forming fists. He eyed his stele longingly, but it lay too far away from him, in his gym bag by the wall. A small group approached him; four students. He quickly saw who had spoken his name so cruelly and mockingly; a tall dark-haired girl.

Alec watched the girl and her friends approach him, a bad feeling washing over him.

They were two boys and two girls, all carrying nasty smiles on their lips. 

“Or do you prefer to be called bastard?” The same girl asked with a dark leer.

Of course, no one dared to take the name Morgenstern in their mouths, all too afraid that the walls might have ears. However, the implications were clear.

Alec just stood there, a raised eyebrow and an indifferent look on his face. He wouldn’t give them the joy of begging or showing how much those words stung. But he also was lost how to answer to make them go away.

The girl laughed cruelly. 

“Oh look at him. He can’t even talk!” the girl spat in disgust, making her three friends laugh mockingly. 

Alec fought to control his rising anger and worry when the group stopped before him.

“Of course I can. I just don’t bother talking to someone like you,” Alec replied darkly.

The sneer on the girl’s face was replaced by rage. 

“Say that again, **bastard** ,” the girl dared.

But she didn’t give Alec the chance to answer. With a howl all four lunged forward at once. Alec tried his best to fight back, but they were just too many. Too many hands that punched him, too many that held him down while feet kicked against his ribs, his guts, his entire body. He tried to cover his face at least, but merciless hands pulled his arms away, exposing him to his tormentors. A low grunt escaped him when a boot connected with his jaw and a sharp pain indicated that someone had broken his nose. Blood was running down his throat and Alec felt he was drowning. Desperately he swallowed, the taste nearly making him gag. Tears were running down his face now, but apart from pained yelps and groans, he kept silent. He would not beg or plead with them.

As sudden as the attack had started, it stopped. The four stepped back and looked down at Alec, who was covered in his own blood and tears. 

“You’re a disgrace to our race, Lightwood,” one of the boys taunted him, before he spat at him.

Alec flinched but stayed still, hoping if he remained still, silent, they would leave. Finally, with a last disgusted look down at him the four students turned around and left him alone.

Alec lay on the floor for a while after the attack, desperately trying to control his breathing. He wiped his face clean, but the disgusting feeling of spit on it would linger there for a long time, long after he would have showered and scrubbed himself clean. Alec slowly got up from the floor, trying to take stock of his injuries. The attackers had been skillful. They hadn’t done anything that couldn’t be healed by an iratze. And of course Alec would use iratzes, the shame of being beaten up too high to let anyone discover his bruises. 

Alec was even more cautious and wary from that day on, he knew that this was likely to happen again. The bullies had found a target and they wouldn’t let off of him easily. Or at all. Unless… Alec’s mind started to race. Jace had asked him to come to him for help. This was different from tending to his wounds from Valentine, but it was also a form of help. And Jace had always seemed pleased to be able to help him. But wasn’t it weak that he couldn’t deal with his attackers on his own? 

Alec was trapped in the vicious circle of wanting help but being taught to consider asking for it weak. His mind went back and forth, not really coming to a conclusion. What finally pushed him over the edge was when he witnessed how the same four Shadowhunters metaphorically bowed down to Jace without Jace even really trying to impress or scare them. Suddenly Alec realized that he was not the weak person, but them, for coming after him in a group and not as single persons. He gathered all his courage before he knocked on Jace’s door. When he heard Jace’s voice allowing him entrance he took a deep breath and did so.

“Hey.” A radiant smile lit up Jace’s face when Alec entered the room. 

Jace’s room was neat, everything had its place. The few personal things he had were stuffed into a cupboard, but it didn’t seem Jace had many personal possessions despite an impressive weapons collection. His clothes were neatly folded and put away in the closet. His whole room screamed of his life as a soldier, a warrior.

“Hey,” Alec replied, trying to sound casual and not letting his nervousness show on his face or in his voice. 

The look in Jace’s eyes that switched from joyful to scrutinizing showed that he didn’t do a good job at hiding his feelings. But with Jace he always had a hard time hiding what he truly felt. But maybe with Jace this was not needed anyway. With a sigh Alec sat down next to Jace on the edge of his bed and bit his lip. He fixated on a point slightly above Jace’s right ear before he felt Jace’s rough hand on his chin, turning his face so that he had to look directly at him. 

“What’s wrong?” Jace’s voice was gentle but firm, as was his grip to Alec’s chin. 

A small shiver ran down Alec’s spine at the touch and the tender tone. He swallowed dry.

“I need your help,” Alec admitted hoarsely.

It was hard to say the words, but when he saw the genuine smile that broke out over Jace’s lips, it became so much easier. The next words spilled out of his mouth without any effort. The blond’s eyes narrowed and darkened when Alec told him how the others had cornered him and went against him in a group.

“You know that they are the cowards, Alec, don’t you? They know they cannot beat you in a fair fight, so they chose the cowardly approach. Thank you for coming to me with this. Thank you for trusting me,” Jace added, a short smile washing over his face at the last words before his features darkened again. 

“I’ll deal with them. Don’t worry about them anymore. About any of them. I will make it clear that you are off limits,” Jace said firmly, a clear warning as much as a claim in his voice. 

Alec blushed lightly at the possessive words and something warm stirred inside of him. Jace was true to his words; he would help him. He really cared for him and would protect him. Alec felt his body relax when he lay fully down on the bed, the physical closeness to Jace both rallying him up and soothing him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered softly.

“No need to thank me for that,” Jace assured him tenderly, looking down at him. Then he gave Alec a cocky smile as he added, “Don't worry; I will be more than happy to have you worship me for it for hours.”

Alex rolled his eyes at that even as he sighed with desperation and desire, the words making Alec fight to control the side of him that would love nothing more than to do just that.

***

The next time Jace saw the group of four together, he didn’t waste any time. There were a few other Shadowhunters in the room, but all gathered their things in a rush and fled the room when Jace barked a dark “out” at them. 

“Not you,” Jace ordered sharply as his eyes fixated on the four students who had harmed Alec.

None of them dared to leave or even move as Jace walked over to them. His eyes glowed golden, but the golden shine couldn’t hide the darkness within. The rage and the anger. Seemingly without any effort, Jace pushed the tallest of the four against the nearest wall so quickly none of them had time to do anything. Within a heartbeat he had a dagger at the boy’s throat before any of the other three could even move or yell. When one of the girls tried to reach for her own weapon, Jace increased the pressure to his dagger and the first drops of blood started to spill, making the boy Jace was holding against the wall gasp with pain.

“I wouldn’t do that. It would be a pity if your little group of four would all of a sudden be a little group of three, wouldn’t it?” Jace growled, a smirk on his lips that didn’t reach his eyes. 

The boy he held pressed to the wall tried to squirm away, but one push from Jace had the boy’s head collide with the wall with a dull thud made the Shadowhunter stop. The dagger cut a little deeper at the movement, not much but enough to draw another pained hiss out of the boy. His eyes were wide with fear. If he had ever thought Jace was just kidding, he knew now he wasn’t.

“Please,” he said, all color drained from his face. The three others didn’t dare to move now either. 

“Please what, uh? Where is all the bravado gone? I hear you like to go four against one. So, let’s go, I’m one, you’re four,” Jace challenged darkly.

“Listen, we would never go against you. Never,” one of the girls stuttered, desperately trying to find the right words. “We just had a little fun with Lightwood, but surely you cannot care…”

Jace slammed the boy’s head against the wall a second time. This time the boy went limp and he slipped unconscious to the floor without making a sound. Jace looked disgusted at the body by his feet before he spun around. In the blink of an eye it was now the girl whom he pressed against the wall in a bruising grip, the dagger wandering up and down her throat. 

“Oh, I surely do. Because he has something the four of you will lack your whole lives. Real bravery. Real strength,” Jace declared strongly. He paused before he added dangerously, the threat in his words, the promise of pain, clear, “If I ever find you bitching about him again, if I ever find you just _looking_ in his direction in an odd way ever again, you will regret it. The next time, none of you will be able to stand up after I’m done with you. Understood? And you can spread the word. Whoever thinks it might be fun to mess with Alec can prepare himself to also mess with me. And **no one** messes with me. **No one**.”

The girl could only nod, the ability to speak lost to the roaming dagger that left light scratch marks on her otherwise flawless skin. 

“Yes. Understood,” the two other Shadowhunters were quick to respond. 

“All right then. Take care of your little friend. It seems he has hit his head,” Jace ordered, doing a dismissive handwave to the unconscious boy on the floor.

Jace then gave the girl he held at knifepoint a last warning look before he removed his knife from her throat. She put a hand to her throat and gashed for air as soon as Jace started to walk away. Jace’s laughter echoed in the room as he left the small group behind, looking after the blond with fear and relief.

***

After this, no one dared to bother Alec again. At least, not the students. The teachers were still hard on him thanks to Valentine having requested they gave him special attention. And of course Alec still had to endure Valentine himself, but this was something even Jace had no control over. Each morning and evening Alec had to endure Valentine’s training methods and punishments because he failed yet again to fulfill an impossible standard set for someone with pure angel blood that Alec could never fulfill. Despite what Valentine wanted to believe than being his son, sharing his blood, didn’t make Alec as strong as someone with pure angel blood in their veins. But knowing that Jace was there, just a text or a phone call away, having his back like he had promised, made it so much easier for Alec to pull through the last month of his time with Valentine. 

***

When the last weeks of Alec’s stay with Valentine had finally passed, Maryse came to Idris to collect Alec from Valentine. She had hoped she would do so and be allowed to call Alec a Morgenstern, something that would increase her influence in Idris tremendously. Though normally acknowledging a bastard child would have been looked down upon in Idris, Maryse knew that the moment Valentine officially acknowledged Alec as his son no one would dare to mention the circumstances of his conception. He would be his and her son and that would be all that mattered.

“So...how did it go?” Maryse asked hopefully but also a little nervous when Valentine stood inside the entrance hall of the Lightwood mansion in Alicante with Alec standing silent and stiff by his side, his eyes downcast.

“I know you are waiting for me to publicly acknowledge my relation to him, but I can tell you now I _never_ will. He’s a disgrace and I will _never_ want my name or blood associated with such weakness!” Valentine said strongly, his fingers digging painfully into Alec’s upper arm, making him give a weak whimper.

Even after weeks of getting used to the fact that Valentine was his birth father, it still hurt to hear how much Valentine loathed him. His own son. The truth about his father hadn’t been nearly as shocking and hurtful as the fact that his mother had lied to him his whole life. On top of that, she expected him to continue lying to his father if Valentine didn’t acknowledge him. Robert, Alec corrected himself inwardly. Not father. He should keep lying to Robert, to call him father. And though Robert had never been anything but cruel to him, being forced to keep the lie up felt wrong - especially because he suspected Robert knew and was just playing along, playing pretend. Robert's exceptional harsh treatments and his hate towards him made so much more sense now.

“With more time…” Maryse began hopefully.

“He’s **weak**. He is not more than a regular, ordinary Shadowhunter. What do I want with ordinary? There is nothing worse than ordinary. You can keep him, kill him, break him, use him as you wish. I have no need for him,” Valentine said cruelly as he all but hurled Alec towards her, casting him aside like he was trash that he had picked up at the side of a street.

Maryse gave Alec a disappointed and warning look, no sympathy in her eyes as Alec struggled not to lose his footing, clearly fighting to control his fear and his sadness, unshed tears at being rejected so cruelly prickling at his eyes.

“Valentine, let’s talk about this,” Maryse began, close to pleading, trying to grab his arm as he turned towards the front door to leave.

“Nothing to talk about. I want **nothing** to do with him,” Valentine said darkly, his eyes starting to gleam furiously as he shook her hand off.

“But he is your only son. You need an heir, Valentine. And I assure you, he…” Maryse tried again, fighting to hang on to her one hope for real power and influence.

“I don’t need this…,” he scoffed derogatory towards Alec, who looked down at his feet, clearly unable to find a suitably bad word to call him. He took a deep breath before he said strongly, “I don't have a son. He can’t really be mine. He has **nothing** of me in him. No strength, power, ruthlessness…brutality! He is **weak**.”

Before Maryse could speak Valentine went on coldly, almost triumphantly, “But you are mistaken if you think I don't have an heir. I have Jonathan. He is my experiment, making him as good as my son. He is an acceptable heir to my legacy.” Valentine gave Alec a cold look and a dismissive hand wave before he went on in a cold voice, “As this one is not. Never will be. I fear he got all nasty traits from your family, Maryse. Didn’t your brother get deruned for getting involved with a mundane? Weakness runs in your family, Maryse, I should have known.”

“But…” Maryse sounded as desperate as she felt. 

“Enough!” Valentine thundered, the darkness in his voice, the barely controlled rage was enough to make Alec flinch as his body instinctively remembered that that voice always meant pain.

Valentine took a calming breath before he warned, “I will not repeat myself. If you ever dare to spread the rumor that I am in any way related to him… you will regret that, Maryse. Remember Jocelyn. Remember Lucian. Betraying me, going against me has never paid off. Do what you will with him but do it out of my sight!”

With that Valentine turned on his heels and left, slamming the front door after him, leaving mother and son standing in the middle of the room. Maryse lips were pressed in a hard line, Alec still looked down at his feet. Alec nervously wetted his lips and looked at his mother. He swallowed hard. She was furious but worse of all; she was disappointed. He had so badly wanted to do this right.

“Alexander! I am _very_ disappointed in you,” Maryse scolded, her eyes flashing in anger, needing someone to blame for having lost her best and most promising route to the absolute top; the ruling elite of Idris.

Alec stood at parade rest before her and clashed his hands behind his back.

“I know, mother. I’m sorry. I tried my best,” Alec got out, tightening his hold around his hands almost painfully, the pressure helping to ground him and control his growing fear and anxiety. 

“Well, your best just isn't good enough, is it?” Maryse said coldly.

Alec had expected the dismissal, the disapproving words. Still they hurt. He fought not to show that in his expression.

“No, mother,” Alec said quietly, his cheeks heating in shame.

“Well, as you haven’t managed to convince Valentine, we have to head back to the New York Institute and explain this to Robert,” Maryse said angrily.

Alec nodded wordlessly, afraid speaking would just upset her more. The wait for a Warlock to create a portal was excruciating as he felt Maryse’s anger like a tangible thing in the room. When the Warlock had come and created the portal for them Maryse’s temper had seemed to only increase as she became more and more aware that she had lost her moment, her one shot at true power and influence. Her nails dug deep into Alec’s flesh when she dragged him along and through the portal, making Alec wince slightly, more from the shame of disappointing her again than the pain from her grip. That was one good thing about staying with Valentine; his pain threshold had undoubtedly increased.

“Go to your room now. I have to tell Robert of your failure. I will deal with you later,” Maryse warned as soon as they were back at the Institute, releasing her grip on him.

Alec didn’t have to look at her to know it was a warning as well as a promise. He nodded, fighting to not lose control, to not show his fear. Valentine’s punishments had been horrible but Maryse had clearly not been Valentine’s second in command for nothing; she was quite inventive herself.

Alec all but ran to his room. He locked the door and as soon as he was inside he threw himself on his bed, hiding his face in a pillow. The tears that had threatened to fall finally did. He wasn't good enough; he would never be good enough. The tears kept falling and his breathing came in ragged hitches. Suddenly a loud sound interrupted his spiraling thoughts. Despite his despair the sound made him sit up and wipe away the tears. Jace. The thought alone made him smile despite the tears. He took the phone from his pants pockets and looked at the message he had received. 

*Are you back at the Institute yet?* Jace had texted.

Alec hesitated, not wanting to talk about his mum’s disappointment or his coming punishment from her. However, he also wanted to be truthful with Jace and keep him close. 

*Yes,* Alec typed, the decision to respond quickly taken as this was Jace after all.

Alec didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

*Good for you.*

Alec hesitated but then decided to tell what was going on, needing Jace’s care more than his own pride.

*Mum is angry*

Alec waited nervously for Jace to respond; fearful he would think him weak for admitting it even if he hadn’t actually admitted she was angry with him.

*You survived a few months with Valentine. You can survive her,* Jace texted back. 

Alec sighed, pain in his heart as he typed, *I am not you, Jace.* 

He wasn’t Jace. He never would be. And he now knew and understood that Jace was whom his mother, Robert, Valentine… his instructors wanted him to be.

*I know. I’m perfect,* Jace typed back.

The words made Alec smile and he could almost see Jace’s cocky grin before him, saying those words, making him look even more handsome. Alec was smiling inwardly even when Maryse came to punish him, the pain fading in the light of his growing affections for Jace.

***

Alec was relieved that he didn’t need to endure Valentine’s training methods any longer, but he missed the Academy. Not really the Academy itself; he missed Jace. Back at the Institute - his supposed home, that felt colder than ever and so far from home he couldn’t even voice it - Alec was lost. He tried to hide from his mother’s disappointment and Robert’s loathing the whole day. To have to call Robert father felt wrong and now left a stale taste on his tongue, but both his parents had made sure to emphasize that he had to keep calling Robert father. Even though Alec suspected that more than half the Shadow World knew anyhow, his parents would keep the lie up until the end - to not shame the Lightwood name. 

The next day Alec went on a mission, happy for the distraction and to be able to get away from the Institute for a while. When he came back he was shocked and surprised to find his room emptied and packed bags in the hallway. He didn’t know if he felt relieved or betrayed. 

Alec didn’t have to wonder about the bags long; Robert came walking over to him with a grim look on his face.

“Why...why are there two bags in the hallway?” Alec asked nervously, his hands behind his back, standing at parade rest.

“You're going to live at the Academy from now on,” Robert told him coldly.

Alec knew it was a dismissal, a dishonor. Yet his mind was stuck on the fact that Jace lived there and that made it easier to bear.

“Does mother know?” Alec asked, unsure if he asked because he had wanted her to object or not.

“Your mother never wants to see you again after you displeased Valentine,” Robert told him harshly. 

Alec hung his head in shame, having expected as much.

“I am unable to remove my last name from you but I would if I could,” Robert said cruelly. "You were never my son; I got stuck with you. By sending you to the Academy I never have to deal with you again and I can focus on my real son; Max.”

Alec felt too defeated, too tired after his months with Valentine and his mother's punishment yesterday to argue.

“Yes, father,” Alec said tiredly, too drained to even feel much pain at the words any longer.

Robert did a dismissive hand gesture when he said coldly, “I want you gone within the hour.”

“I will just say goodbye to…” Alec started to say, nodding in the general direction of Izzy and Max’s rooms.

“No need. Your mother doesn't want to see you and your siblings left early with Maryse to visit the Blackthorns,” Robert interrupted coldly.

Alec sank, his heart hurting at hearing he would not get to say goodbye to his siblings who, before Jace, had been the only light in his life.

“Can I... come later to see them? Izzy and Max?” Alec asked hopefully.

“No,” Robert said shortly, making Alec’s eyes flash with pain. “Now leave,” Robert ordered shortly.

Alec sank and nodded, fighting tears at knowing he had lost his family and his home.

“Yes, Sir,” Alec said when he could see Robert expected a reply. Addressing Robert as Sir rather than as father felt better, easier.

Robert just nodded before he turned on his heels and left, expecting him to do just that.

He didn’t mind moving out of the Institute so much but being forced to go without having said goodbye to his siblings hurt worse than any punishment he had ever taken. He wondered what lies his parents would tell them about why he had gone without saying anything. 

Alec felt like the Institute was suffocating him and less than an hour later he had left his old home and everything had been sat up in his new room at the Academy. He had asked if he could get a room next to Jace and here Robert's last name had weight and he had gotten what he asked for.

Jace had been training but came to see Alec in his room just as he had finished unpacking. Alec was sitting on his bed when Jace entered without knocking, as if he belonged in Alec’s room and Alec felt happy for the implication of that, the care and the trust. He couldn't help but smile when he saw Jace walk towards him. Communicating with him during his stay with Valentine had made it possible for him to survive. Jace had become like a sun in his life.

Alec was aware he had tears in the corners of his eyes, the last days so draining and emotional he had been unable to stop his tears when he had finally been alone and safe in his room. He was too upset to care that Jace's saw his weakness, saw him crying. A part of him wanted him to see; to see what he would do, how he would react.

Without a word or comment Jace came to sit on the bed next to him, not speaking, just giving him a small smile.

“I will never be anything but weak to Valentine,” Alec admitted softly, anguished, unable to pretend to be strong any longer, having no doubt Valentine’s dismissal of him was final. 

He wasn't Jace; Valentine had made that painfully clear to him in the last few months when he had failed the tests his pure angel blooded warrior had passed. 

“To him, my mother… Robert,” Alec went on. He drew a deep breath as he added in a disgusted tone, “Only ever good enough to live on my knees.”

Jace gave his nearest knee a warm squeeze that took Alec by surprise.

“You're not weak, Alec,” Jace told him seriously, warmly. He paused before he added with a seductive wink, “And I happen to think you would look rather hot on your knees.”

Alec smiled and blushed furiously. His blush deepened when Jace brushed his tears away with his thumb with a tenderness Alec hadn’t known Jace was capable of. Or any human being for that matter, as he had never experienced it before. 

Alec watched Jace as he stood up and left for his own room to shower after his training, his mind spinning. Had Jace meant it like Alec wanted him to mean it?

Maybe he didn't need to be strong like them. Maybe… just maybe they were all wrong. Maybe Jace was right and he could be strong in a different way. Strong in a silent way. 

He had always known that he was slightly different than the other kids his age. Whereas they only had focused on the next task at hand, he had always seen the bigger picture. Maybe he was not the most brutal fighter who loved to be in the thick of things, but he was the one who knew where everybody was. What next move to make so that everyone got out of the thick of things safely. And maybe, just maybe, this was a strength on its own. 

That was also why he loved his bow so much. It allowed him to have the strategic overview and to protect. And of course because Jace had introduced him to the bow. Jace had seen his strength. He had told him numerous times that he thought he was strong, maybe it was time to start believing it. Maybe it was time to stop wanting to be like Jace with his brute force and superior strength, a level no regular Shadowhunter could achieve anyway. Maybe it was time to put his own strength to use. For Jace, to make _him_ even more unbeatable. To make **them** unstoppable. 

And maybe, Alec would even be brave enough to ask Jace what he had truly meant by mentioning how good he thought he would look on his knees. And maybe, or better to say, most definitely, Alec would love to prove just that. How good he would look in front of Jace. In whatever way or form that might take. 

***

Jace was happy that Alec was back at the Academy. He was pleased that Alec had asked for a room next to his own so that they could sneak in and out of each other’s rooms easily. He felt bad for Alec, for the way Valentine and his parents had treated him. He couldn’t deny that he had felt lonely when he had thought Alec was back at the Institute in New York.

Jace had always been a lonely child. And an only child too. After him, his mother had tried to get pregnant again, but never been successful. Maybe that was due to the experiments Valentine had done on him inside her womb, maybe it was just how things were. But Jace had always thought that his parents blamed him somehow. Or at least it always felt this way, as though they clearly wanted a second child, they had never cared to get to know the one child they already had. Maybe it was also the intense interest Valentine had in him - or rather in his abilities - that drove them away. 

When he had come to live at the Academy, he had hoped to find friends among the other students. But being younger than most and still being better hadn’t sat well with the others so he had stayed what he had been back home: Respected, even feared, but lonely. Until Valentine had ordered him to train Alec. Since Alec he knew what it felt like to have someone who truly cared about him, who looked behind his facade he so masterfully held up. 

So he was very glad to find Alec back so soon after he had left. It was nice to be able to slip into his room after a hard training session and not into his own empty room. 

A few days had passed and as so often when Jace snuck into Alec’s room after he had showered after his training, he found Alec lying on his bed, reading, a slight frown on his face. Jace threw himself next to him, a grin on his face that subsided when Alec’s frown didn’t waver.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I thought you would at least be a bit happy to see me,” Jace nudged Alec in the side, his voice playful but an edge of seriousness lay just beneath the light tone.

“You know I am. It’s just...” His voice trailed away, worry and pain in his eyes, making it clear he had been struggling to focus on his book. 

“Your parents?” Jace guessed with a raised eyebrow.

“No, I really don’t care about them. At least I try not to. After all that they have done… It’s time for me to come to terms with the fact that I don’t really matter to them. So, I try not to make them matter to me,” Alec said with more strength than he felt. It was a process, but he was working on it.

“That’s good,” Jace praised and Alec smiled at the words, always happy for Jace’s approval as he had gotten so little approval, so little praise in his life.

However, Alec’s smile quickly faded, making Jace give him a concerned look.

“It’s my siblings. I have no idea what my parents told them about why I had to leave so suddenly. I don’t want them to think I left them alone because I don’t like them or something like that,” Alec admitted sadly.

Jace looked at Alec shortly, a small pang of jealousy running through his body at the warmth and love Alec clearly shared with his siblings, something he had never had. However, he quickly controlled it. 

“You know that you are lucky to have them. To have people who care where you are,” Jace said with a hint of longing. 

Alec swallowed visibly and looked down as he said, “I know.”

It was easy to be blinded by Jace’s outward shine that masked his inner core. But beneath the gloss was a boy who was just as lost as Alec himself - lost in a different way, but lost nevertheless. 

Jace saw the pain and worry in Alec and knew he had to act.

“So, let’s make sure they don’t think the wrong things. I cannot arrange a meeting with them, but I can make sure to send them a fire message that goes directly to Izzy and won’t be interrupted by your mother or Robert,” Jace offered with a grin.

“You could do that?” Alec asked in wonder and awe, looked up at Jace with a hopeful expression on his face.

“Of course I can. You should know by now there is not much I can't do,” Jace said arrogantly as he winked at Alec, making the raven-haired boy look adoringly at him, smiling brilliantly at him.

Well, there was not much he wouldn't do for Alec but Jace let that remain unspoken.

Alec quickly started a letter to Izzy and Max, telling them in carefully chosen words why he had had to leave the Institute, not wanting to be too direct in case something went wrong and the message was intercepted. But most importantly, he told them how much they meant to him, how much he loved them.

With the letter sent and this fear out of Alec’s mind, he could truly settle into the rhythm of the Academy - and Jace’s. Without Alec having to go back to Valentine each evening, they soon became inseparable. The other students still remembered the lesson Jace had taught them and they left Alec alone. He didn’t really find friends beside Jace, but he was friendly with some and Jace’s friendship was all he needed. 

Occasionally they were able to send messages to Izzy and she also managed to send some back, both of them keeping the letters carefully neutral in case something went wrong and they were discovered, but they both ensured to express their affections for each other. Alec was glad to not lose touch completely with his siblings during the months at the Academy that slowly turned into years. However, above all Alec was grateful for Jace and for the growing bond between them that turned the otherwise insecure boy into a young man who knew he mattered for he mattered to Jace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story please leave a kudos and a comment (or just a kudos). It would mean a lot to us. Thank you :)


	4. Be My Parabatai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace asks Alec to be his parabatai. Alec wonders if he really means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to Monochromatize and Cindy for great beta work as always.  
> Thank you to Ma.Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the great artwork in this chapter.  
> Chapter warnings: Mention of blood (the Parabatai oath is a blood oath). Mention of previous child abuse

_Please read chapter notes for chapter warnings_

# Chapter 4: Be My Parabatai

2 years passed quickly. Away from Valentine and his parents, close to Jace and his care and protection, Alec slowly started to flourish. Little by little the pain left behind in his heart and soul by Valentine’s disappointment and his parents’ rejection started to fade. Jace made him feel strong; near him, with him, he felt close to invincible. Nowhere was that feeling clearer than when they sparred together. Today was no exception.

Alec and Jace trained like they had done many times before: lost in the fight, both keen on measuring their strengths. They were attuned to each other by now, Alec knew Jace’s favorite moves and their bodies were used to answering a certain punch with a certain kick or move. But nevertheless, they always tried to surprise. They went hard against each other, sweat running down their bodies, their breaths ragged. Neither of them would even dream of going easy, of not giving it their all. Jace because he had never been taught anything other than that he had to be the best and Alec because he had learned long ago to always get back up and keep going.

They had agreed to fight without runes this time which evened the odds significantly. It was nearly lunchtime and the training room was empty by now, all the other students had headed towards the mess hall for lunch after showering.

Alec got distracted just for a second by a sunray coming through one of the large windows in the room that hit his eyes blindingly. The short distraction was enough to find himself on the floor, held down by Jace who smiled at him wickedly, saddling his chest and pinning his hands to the floor.

“Give up,” Jace demanded, breathing hard from the effort of keeping Alec immobile, looking down on Alec with a fond expression in his eyes and a hint of something more, something else Alec couldn’t quite decipher.

“Never,” Alec got out, shaking his head from side to side to emphasize his denial.

Alec mobilized all his strength, pushing against Jace. He was able to push the blond slightly off him, but his victory was short-lived. Jace reacted at once. He flipped Alec around so that he was now lying on his belly and he pulled one of Alec’s arms in a painful grip behind his back, laying half on top of him to use his weight to keep him pinned down. Alec felt Jace’s hot breath on his neck and his weight pressed against his own body. Goosebumps appeared on his skin as a shiver ran through him from something very different than the heat of the fight. When Jace increased his hold on his arm, twisting slightly, Alec groaned in pain - and tapped out.

Jace held him down just for a few seconds longer after he had tapped out before he let go of him. Alec took a deep and calming breath when he was freed. Feeling Jace like that, so close… it was enough to make Alec’s head spin with the images his brain painted in his mind. Jace’s body felt too good on top of him, warm and protective, strong, and safe. When he got up from the floor Alec felt strangely cold. He shook his head and scrambled to regain his footing.

“I have been thinking…. Will you be my parabatai?”

Alec was lost in thoughts, so Jace’s question hit him completely by surprise.

Alec looked at Jace, speechless for a second. Then something hardened inside him. He had always known that Jace did what had to be done to achieve his goals, but he had never thought him to be cruel. Alec couldn’t see why Jace would want to play with him like this; mock him with such a question. He just couldn’t grasp why Jace would treat him like this; dangle something like that in front of him when he knew it couldn’t be true.

Suddenly he couldn’t stand to look at Jace any longer, pain running through him at knowing his only friend, the only person he cared for beside his siblings, would mock him like this. Alec’s gaze on Jace hardened and he turned around to leave. He had to get away before his emotions got the better of him. He really wanted to never look at Jace again, given the choice - but of course, he didn’t have that choice. He would have to face Jace again; they had rooms right next to each other. From now on he would always remember this pain; this betrayal. It mocked the care and friendship Jace had showed him up until now. It cast a shadow on everything.

He would get through it. Somehow. He always got back up after all. But right now, right now it just hurt too much. To hear the words he had secretly been craving to hear since the day Jace had started training with him. Alec had spoken the words in his head countless times, wishing to ask Jace, but never dared to voice them aloud, as he knew the answer anyway. But that Jace said them to him, not meaning them, just to play with him or simply to hurt him…

Alec’s reaction puzzled and hurt Jace. If he was honest with himself, he had not been too nervous about this moment; about asking Alec. He had thought about it thoroughly, but the outcome had always been the same. So, now that he had Alec alone, he hadn’t even considered not asking. He knew what he wanted, and he went for it the same way he did with everything else in life. Straight forward. And if he again was honest with him, the only answer he had expected from Alec had been yes. Actually, he had expected a very joyful yes; a smile. Likely a hug too. He definitely hadn’t expected Alec to just turn on him and leave him without even bothering to give an answer at all. For a moment, Jace was speechless himself - before a fury settled in he really tried to control.

In a heartbeat he was in front of Alec, his runes making him a lot faster than Alec who had just walked away, reaching him before he was even close to the door. Their faces were just inches apart, Jace’s eyes burning into Alec’s with a nearly blazing rage. Jace could smell Alec, the faint whiff of sweat mixed with herbal from his shampoo and that unique smell that was Alec. His eyes looked haunted and sad, but Jace was too furious and hurt to let himself get distracted by that.

“I asked you a damn question! Did your parents teach you nothing? The polite thing to do is answer it,” Jace growled, a warning clear in the words.

Alec crossed his arms protectively over his chest, but not wavering. Not this time. He raised his chin and looked defiantly at Jace.

“It seems they haven’t taught me much but then again if you ask them, I was never a good student, now was I?” Alec asked sarcastically, masking his own pain with anger.

“Don’t give me that,” Jace protested, shaking his head at him, his eyes angry and blazing.

“I don’t see the point in answering a mocking question. What do you gain from that, Jace?” Alec challenged, fighting to control his pain, and only letting his anger come through.

Alec made fists and his fingernails cut into his palms, so deep they would leave crescent moon shapes. But he just couldn’t show weakness now, he needed to steady himself. And he managed to do so, his voice was even and smooth. Any person who didn’t know him well wouldn’t have heard the slight pain underneath the smoothness.

But of course, Jace noticed the pain, making the fire in his eyes diminish slightly.

“Why mockingly? Alec, I asked you an honest question and I expect a proper response,” Jace insisted strongly, a beginning hint of annoyance in his tone but his anger was fading.

“But you cannot mean that. Not seriously,” Alec insisted, fighting not to start to allow himself to believe the impossible, uncrossing his arms to wipe nervously over his face.

“What, do you want me to drop to my knees like in a horrible mundane romance movie to ask the question? Not going to happen, Alec. I don’t kneel,” Jace scoffed but with a hint of smugness, a smile starting to spread over his lips when he realized Alec hadn’t rejected him. Alec had wanted it so much he had been afraid this wasn’t truly happening. When he saw Alec’s reddening cheeks, the hurt he had felt diminished and it got easier to breath calmly again.

A faint blush colored Alec’s cheeks when the thought of Jace’s words of how good he would look on his knees all those years ago crossed his mind. He shook his head to clear it of the distracting feelings that memory brought with it. He couldn’t allow himself to believe the impossible. So he returned to just glare at Jace, not trusting his voice to obey his command.

Jace seemed to soften further when he saw the struggle raging inside Alec, the pain in his eyes.

“You really think I asked you to mock you? Why would I do that?” Jace asked him softly. He paused and his voice hardened a bit again as he added, “Maybe it is not the best idea then anyway. If you know me so little.”

A slightly hurt tone Jace never allowed himself to have except with Alec had creeped back into his voice at the last statement. Maybe it had been a bad idea. If Alec really thought so little of him, knew him so little….

Alec gave him a confused look.

“But it must be a joke. Why would you choose someone like me? You can have anyone,” Alec got out, his voice sounding lost and weak, blushing a little more, thinking of all the people Jace could ask. Choose. Have. No one would say no to him. To the golden boy of Idris. He could become parabatai to the elite, the best of the best. Someone matching his reputation and expectations.

Jace gave him a warm smile, his hurt disappearing like fog before the sun. Alec knew him. Alec wanted him. He was just afraid he wasn’t good enough. He could work with that.

“But I don’t want anyone, Alec. I want you,” Jace said gently, taking a hand up and briefly stroking Alec’s chin, loving how Alec unconsciously leaned into the touch for a moment before Jace withdrew his hand and gave him a serious look as he added, “I have enough fire inside of me to burn the whole of Idris to the ground. I don’t need more fire. I need someone who calms me. Grounds me. Reasons with me.” Jace paused yet again as he gave Alec such a tender look Alec gasped for breath as Jace added quietly, emotionally, in a rare display of vulnerability as he admitted, “I need you.”

Alec was again speechless, but this time for totally different reasons. Jace wanted him. Of all people Jace had chosen him. Him! His head was spinning. Maybe he really had been right in assuming that his strength was there but just hidden, a different strength to what Jace or Valentine or his mother had. Maybe he really was enough the way he was. If Jace would choose him he had to be enough.

Jace huffed and rolled his eyes when Alec remained silent, but there was no real annoyance in his expression any longer, nor pain. Or rage. The fury had gone as quickly as it had surfaced, calmed by Alec’s faith in him and his admiration.

“You really want to make me repeat the question, don’t you, Alec?” Jace said with a hint of amusement. He paused as he added humorously, “Fine. But don’t expect a ring.”

Alec almost died at hearing Jace say the word ring. Oh, the daydreams he would have based on this one conversation… Alec’s eyes were fixed on Jace as his lips moved to ask again, wanting to burn this memory into his brain forever.

“Will you be my parabatai?” Jace asked softly but strongly.

Jace’s eyes never left Alec’s, blue and gold melting with hazel brown.

Alec gulped, his whole world shrinking to become nothing but Jace and only him. He got lost in Jace’s eyes; so strong and yet so tender.

“Of course,” Alec said breathlessly, knowing he had never spoken truer words in his whole life.

A radiant smile spread over Jace’s face. He drew Alec in for a brief hug, laughing lightly. Alec closed his arms around the younger boy, holding him close, feeling safe, feeling he was finally home.

“You know, for a moment I really believed you would say no,” Jace admitted with a hint of hurt when he somewhat reluctantly drew out of the embrace.

However, Jace kept his hands on Alec’s hips, making Alec look down shyly for a moment, before he forced himself to look at Jace again, reminding himself Jace meant nothing with the action.

“Has anyone ever said no to you?” Alec asked, trying for a teasing tone to lighten the mood.

Alec felt weirdly disappointed when Jace removed his hands from his hips.

“Exactly,” Jace said with a wink. “And we don’t want to start now.”

Alec huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes himself, even more impressively than Jace. He felt lightheaded and almost drunk with joy at thinking of Jace as his parabatai. The ceremony, the guests, the… suddenly Alec felt as if cold water had been thrown over him.

“But _he_ will never let us,” Alec said worriedly, his smile fading.

The height of his joy had gone as quickly as it had come. Valentine would never let Jace pledge himself to Alec. He had kept his word and ignored Alec completely. Even the one time he had come to talk to Jace, and Alec had been right next to him; he had pretended as if he wasn’t even there. Normally Alec made sure never to be around when Valentine wanted to come by to see what new skills Jace could do, but Valentine had made it clear that even if he was around, he would ignore him unless he wanted something specific.

“I guess you are right,” Jace admitted unconcerned. He grinned as he said, “Good thing I am not planning to tell him.”

“But the Circle approves of every Shadowhunter becoming parabatai. There are tests and everything. They will bring it to his attention when you come forward with the request. The Silent Brothers will not perform the ritual without his okay,” Alec protested, confused but hopeful that Jace knew something he didn’t.

A mischievous gleam had settled in Jace’s eyes.

“And how do you think Jonathan Shadowhunter and David the Silent became parabatai? David the Silent was the first Silent Brother ever, but way after he had become parabatai with Jonathan. We don’t need a Silent Brother. We can do it the old way,” Jace declared with certainty.

“And what is the old way?” Alec asked, intrigued and hopeful.

“Blood. Originally the parabatai oath is a blood oath,” Jace explained as a small smirk at having gotten this knowledge settled on Jace’s face as he watched Alec intently.

“How do you know that?” Alec asked, having never heard of any of it.

“Well, I have my sources,” Jace said superiorly. At Alec’s look he added, “Ok. I found an ancient copy of a journal of David the Silent at the Shadow Market. It’s written in a language no one can read, so no one wanted it. But somehow, I can read it - I guess it’s the angel blood. So, I bought it and in there everything is described in detail, what we need and what to do.”

Alec was just looking at Jace with an awed expression and a soft smile on his lips, completely lost in the daydream of them becoming one in the only way Alec knew they could – joining their souls. He then shook his head to clear it.

“We would need to hide the runes,” Alec thought out loud, as always quick to jump in on Jace’s line of thinking.

Jace nodded approvingly. They smiled at each other, both thinking of the best way to do this.

“We need a place that is not easily spotted while training and we need a glamour in addition to that,” Alec finally said, after thinking about it for a few moments.

“So, you’re in?” Jace asked.

Even though Jace was pretty sure Alec was, he really wanted to hear Alec say it.

Alec gave Jace a fond look as he nodded and said, “Of course.” Alec paused as he admitted heartfelt, “I want to be your parabatai.” He smiled widely as he added in a teasing voice, “I can’t be the first to say no to you, can I?”

“Most definitely not, Alec,” Jace replied, a smug smile appearing on his face at his words that made Alec shiver with anticipation.

Parabatai. Their souls would become one. They would never be alone again. Alec smiled for the rest of the day just thinking about it.

***

Alec and Jace stood in each their own ring of heavenly fire, one ring of fire created on the ground between the two rings they were standing in the middle of. The fire burnt high, the heat making their skin hot and itchy, a thin layer of sweat was already covering them. Their eyes were glued together, their focus was just on them. They had chosen the spot carefully to not be interrupted by anyone. It was a hidden meadow deep inside the woods that surrounded Alicante, deep inside of Brocelind Forest. It was a grey, stormy day, clouds were chasing each other over the dark sky. The first drops of rain started to fall, but neither Jace nor Alec looked up. They didn’t even register that the rain mixed into the sweat, soaking them. They just had eyes for each other. The fire surrounding them burnt with the power of heavenly fire, of the holy and sacred oath they were about to perform. It wouldn’t submit to some earthy rain.

Jace’s eyes shone bright and golden when he recited the first words of the parabatai oath that would establish a lifelong bond between them, something even the angels couldn’t part once completed. At least Jace would never allow anyone to part them; angels, demons, or anyone in between!

Only when the last words of the oath were spoken by both of them would they step forward into the ring of fire between them, stele and knife in hand. Jace’s voice was steady while he spoke, only the shiver that ran down his spine indicating that he was a little nervous. Jace finished the first paragraph of the oath, a small smile on his lips.

_“For whither thou goest, I will go.”_

Alec drew in a shaky breath at the words, the meaning of them fully settling in. But it was true. He would follow Jace, had started to follow Jace the moment he had trained him. But to hear that Jace also was willing to do the same was overwhelming.

_“Entreat me not to leave thee.”_

Alec’s voice trembled lightly when he repeated the words Jace had just spoken, but stabilized after the first line. He was sure he wanted this, that he wanted Jace - and the certainty bled into his voice that became clearer and louder with each word spoken.

They recited the words in turns, their eyes still locked. The world could have ended right then and there, neither of them would have noticed as a new world was building for them, a world where they were linked to each other, were each other.

_“If aught but death part thee and me.”_

When the last words left Alec’s mouth both of them stepped forward in unison and into the ring of fire between them, already synced even though not yet bonded. Alec’s palm was slightly sweaty, but the grip around his dagger was firm. Both of them lifted their hands and after a small nod from Jace they both cut the other, piercing the skin right over the other’s heart. It was a shame that they couldn’t place the rune over their hearts where they felt it belonged, but that would be too obvious. They had agreed to place it on their hips, just below the waistline so that when they trained shirtless, the rune was still hidden.

Light red blood spilled out of the cuts they had made, but neither flinched nor even hissed. They welcomed the pain. It was just the beginning of something new and new beginnings were always accompanied by a little pain. Jace coated his stele in his own blood, bending down to draw the rune on Alec. With one hand he shoved Alec’s pants out of the way, while he with the other placed the stele on Alec’s exposed skin. The sting of the stele burnt when Jace drew the rune in one fluid motion, not pausing once. He knew that rune by heart and he couldn’t wait to see the completed rune on Alec. His parabatai. His. Always his. A satisfied smile appeared on Jace’s face when the rune was finished. It looked beautiful against Alec’s pale skin. Black mixing with the crimson red of his own blood.

Now it was Alec’s turn. With a firm hand he coated his stele until the tip was covered in his blood from the cut Jace had made on him. The rain was falling heavier now, but it couldn’t wash away the blood, it stuck to the stele as if it belonged there. Alec’s lips parted slightly when he dropped to his knees in front of Jace. Jace pushed his waistband down to give Alec access to his hip. Alec pressed down the stele and the same slight burn fulfilled Jace that Alec had experienced just a moment ago.

The moment the rune was completed their world exploded in pain and fire. Something tugged on their souls, ripping apart a piece. Without really knowing what he did, Jace dropped to his knees beside Alec, pulling him close until Alec’s head rested on his shoulders, both their arms wrapped around the other. For a moment it seemed that their souls didn’t want to let go, didn’t want to give away a piece. But then their runes lit up in a reddish light and they both gasped in surprise when their souls gave way and the piece of the other slammed into them.

Tears were running down both their faces, tears of awe mixed with tears of pain. Both boys panted, the impact of the other’s soul crashing into their own making them both breathless. For a while they couldn’t think, all that they could do was feel their bond forming. It was a connection neither of them had witnessed before. An invisible line went from Alec to Jace, from Jace to Alec and suddenly they could feel each other. Truly feel the other.

The joint awe and amazement were rushing over them, leaving them even more breathless than before. Their runes glowed reddish, like fire and blood. And like fire they burnt, but it was the good kind of pain. With a sigh Alec collapsed fully against Jace, who pulled him even closer. They just sat there, enjoying their joint hearts that beat strongly against their chests, a few drops of blood still easing out of their cuts. But both wouldn’t use an iratze on the cut. Both hoped it would scar, as this was the only visible sign they were allowed to have on their hearts of their oath, their connection. They had to hide their parabatai rune, so at least they wanted the world to see the mark they had left on the other.

“We did it,” Jace got out, laughing breathlessly as he pulled a bit back so he could look at Alec. His expression softened as he said, “my parabatai.”

Alec’s eyes shone with love and affection, awe, and admiration as he looked at the blond.

“Parabatai,” was all Alec could answer, but it was also all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and a kudos (or just a kudos) if you are enjoying the story. It would mean a lot to us.


	5. Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec realises he wants Jace as more than his parabatai but thinks Jace doesn't want that, given all the girls he is with. Until one day Alec has a chance to admit to Jace that he want him; if he is brave enough to do so...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to our great beta readers! You guys are amazing! :)  
> Things written "Here": Spoken out loud  
> Things written *Here*: Spoken telepathically  
> Chapter warnings: Accidental observed blowjob between Jace and a girl (starts at "Alec froze in the middle of the open door." and ends at "No chance he felt as Alec did…"), referenced sex, explicit sex scene (oral and anal sex) that starts at "Jace looked at him when Alec stopped before him" and ends at "*Jace,* a voice rang out. Alec’s voice, filled with love and affection, wonder and awe." [They are still naked at this stage though]. Some dirty talk and slight dominance in the sex scene.  
> References to child abuse mentioned in the previous chapters. Bullying. Telepathy.

_Please read chapter notes for warnings_

# Chapter 5: Be Mine

Their bond was a blessing. The way their souls connected, melted together, was an incredible feeling. One they had never thought possible. Though they were still separate people, the level with which they could feel the other was overwhelming, changing both their worlds for good. It was the first time Alec truly felt that he belonged to someone, that there was someone who really cared for him. Liked him. Considered him equal. And Alec knew that behind Jace’s arrogance and cockiness, he felt the same. Jace had spoken often enough about his parents who didn’t bother to get to know him and about Valentine’s harsh training that Alec himself had experienced for a fraction of the time Jace had endured it to know Jace craved this connection as much as he did.

It was hard to hide their bond, especially at the beginning when they hadn’t mastered how to shut it off or navigate it properly. Their feelings were open and raw, the bond picking up on every emotion. They had put strong glamours on their runes in addition to the hidden spot they had chosen for them, hoping this was enough to hide them. When they trained, something urged them on, rallied them to go harder on each other, to push each other to and over their limits. The bond was a bond made for battle and Alec could see why that was. When the adrenaline spiked in their bodies, so did their connection. They moved in unison, their heartbeats synched, they thought along the same lines. Fighting with or against Jace had always been something special, but now Alec felt nearly invincible. He was still the boy in the back, but knowing where Jace charged next without having to actually communicate made it so much easier for him to protect Jace and shoot the way free for him. They couldn’t read the other’s mind, but especially in battle it felt close.

Their bond was also a curse. Alec had always known that Jace liked girls and girls liked him. He had seen him kissing several girls in hallways or pulling them into empty classrooms, doing certainly more than just kissing. Jace had never hid his admiration for a pretty girl, flirting openly with anyone who took his fancy. Alec wasn’t surprised that he had yet to meet a girl who had resisted Jace’s charms. But knowing what Jace did with girls and feeling it were two completely different things.

The first time he had felt Jace’s arousal through their bond he hadn’t really been able to place it.

Adrenaline had rushed through his body all of a sudden, but in a different way than when Jace’s body attuned to a fight or a battle. He had felt excitement coming from Jace but also another feeling he had not been able to identify. After a few moments of those feelings he felt something, almost an explosion of feelings and sensations coming from Jace, stealing his breath and making his body yearn for something he wasn’t quite sure what it was. Only when he saw Jace coming out of an empty classroom, zipping his fly up while he went, his hair slightly tousled, with a girl in tow with flushed cheeks and a dazed look in her eyes, did it finally click into place. He had felt Jace’s arousal and then his release.

His cheeks had burned in shame and he had quickly hid behind a corner to remain unseen by Jace and the girl. He peeped around the edge and watched as Jace turned around to look at the girl, pressing a small kiss to her cheek that left her breathless and looking adoringly up at him in a way that made Alec jealous and possessive in a way he had no right to be. Then Jace walked directly towards him, as if he knew he was there even though Alec quickly pulled back, hidden from view again. Alec felt something from Jace now, something different. Amusement maybe? Of course Jace knew where he was, probably he could feel his embarrassment as clearly as Alec had felt Jace’s arousal. Alec’s heartbeat picked up pace when Jace’s footsteps kept coming closer and closer. But Jace didn’t stop to look at him, he just walked by Alec’s hiding spot behind some large boxes, humming lightly, a satisfied grin on his face. Alec had sighed relieved, thinking he had gotten away without being noticed. Just as Alec was to emerge from behind the boxes Jace had turned around and looked him directly in the eyes, his strong gaze holding Alec captive even as he felt himself blush even deeper. The grin on Jace’s face transformed into a smirk as he maintained eye contact, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Alec was left speechless as he looked shocked at him. Jace almost laughed at his reaction before he had the audacity to actually **wink** at him before he walked away. Alec was left staring longingly and confused after him, the heat from his cheeks slowly wandering further south as he felt his own arousal spike.

Alec had no idea what was happening to him. The bond was still so overwhelming with all the new feelings and possibilities. The way he felt about Jace was strictly amicable, wasn’t it? He definitely didn’t picture Jace’s words in his mind from months back when he had told him how good he would look on his knees. Most definitely not. He was certainly not imagining it was him and not the girl Jace had kissed on the cheek and he was under no circumstances imagining just what he could be doing for Jace on his knees; what he imagined the girl had likely just done for him. He didn’t want Jace that way. Did he? Did it even matter if he did? He _couldn’t_ want Jace that way. Even if they weren’t parabatai, homosexuality was considered a weakness and thus outlawed.

Alec really didn’t want to discover another weakness of his, his life was already a sequence of one weakness or failure after the other. He really couldn’t fuck this up. He had gotten Jace as a dear friend and his parabatai. His life was better than it had ever been. So no, he just cared for Jace in an amicable way. Like a good parabatai cared for his parabatai. Besides, Jace was straight. Alec couldn’t count the girls he had seen Jace with. None of them stayed, all were just flings that came and went again. Alec ignored the relief that always settled in when he saw one girl leave, only to be quickly replaced by another, equally pretty, equally meaningless, girl.

Time passed with Alec telling himself these things over and over as if saying it enough would make it true. He had gotten lost in thoughts, distracted by looking at Jace now that they were alone and had a moment to themselves. He could spend the rest of eternity just admiring the blond; his beauty, his charisma, his charm. Alec sat in a chair by his desk in his room, fidgeting with his stele. Jace was laying comfortably on Alec’s bed as if it was his own, his head resting against the headboard, a knowing grin playing around his lips that made Alec blush when their eyes met.

“You should try it too.”

Alec fought to hide his fear that Jace had known he had been daydreaming of him, startled at the sudden words. Of course Jace would have noticed his wondering thoughts and eyes and guessed rightly about what he had been thinking. Alec couldn’t tell how much he hated that Jace was able to make him blush with just a few words or a suggestive look. He wished he wasn’t so lost in the blond as he was. When it came to Jace he had no defenses and a part of him didn’t want any either.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Alec said dismissively, but not quite meeting Jace’s eyes.

Jace just laughed heartfelt. In a blink of an eye he rose from the bed and was in front of Alec, invading his personal space. He looked down at the dark-haired boy, his runes gleaming, betraying his speed had been due to him activating them with a thought. There was a spark in his eyes that set Alec’s whole world on fire. Alec swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down while he looked up at Jace, his pupils blown wide. Jace leaned down, his lips nearly touching Alec’s earlobe. Just nearly. But nevertheless, it made Alec’s skin break into goosebumps all over and a small shiver ran over his spine.

“Oh I think you know what I mean. I see how you watch the girls I’ve been with,” Jace said with an arrogant and knowing smirk. He paused, looking Alec up and down as he suggested, “Why don’t you try it out yourself? I bet there are enough girls who are into tall, handsome and a bit broody men for you to have your pick.”

Alec’s blush deepened, his reply, any words at all, caught in his throat. Had Jace called him handsome? Did Jace think he was handsome? Did he... Alec’s mind was spinning and suddenly it was hard to breathe.

However, the blond didn’t give him any reprieve. He gave Alec a searching look and seemed to find what he was looking for because he smiled almost predatorily at him. He leaned in a little more, his lips actually brushing against his ear now, setting Alec’s body on fire and making his breath come in quick gasps.

“Unless you want something else,” Jace suggested lowly. He paused before he added hoarsely, his voice sounding like sex on legs to Alec, driving him wild, “Do you want something else, Alec?”

Jace’s breath was so hot against Alec’s skin that it felt like fire and he was so close...Alec could smell him, feel him, drown in him. Alec briefly closed his eyes, his imagination running amok with him as he for a split second indulged in the daydream that there was a small chance, a faint hope, that maybe Jace felt something for him other than….Alec tried to kill the thought, the desire but found it the hardest task, the biggest challenge, he had ever faced.

A smug smile played around Jace lips when he pulled away, his hand accidentally - or very deliberately, Alec wasn’t sure which - ran over Alec’s deflect rune on his throat. Alec had to fight not to moan in pleasure at the touch, Jace’s hand leaving a trail of pure desire and flame behind in its wake. Without awaiting an answer, Jace turned around and left the room. Alec just stared at the closed door, his mouth slightly hanging open, shifting a little uncomfortable in his chair as his pants had become a lot tighter than before.

As time passed, their bond settled down a little as both boys became more capable of navigating it and turning the connection down when needed. Jace was better at closing his side, used to hiding his feelings under a cocky grin for his whole life. Though Alec had tried, he had never been as good as Jace at doing just that. Today turned out to be one of the days when Alec wished he was.

When Alec stepped into the locker room, a little early for his scheduled training with Jace, he was truly unprepared for what he discovered. Jace was leaning against the wall opposite to the door Alec had just entered through. He had slung an arm around the waist of a girl Alec didn’t really know. He just knew she was in one of the senior classes. She was pretty like all the girls that Jace picked. Pretty, long-haired and very petite. She wore a short skirt and stood on her tiptoes to be able to kiss Jace. She was everything Alec wasn’t and Alec both felt relief and hatred at that fact. Relief for it meant with certainty Jace could never be his and hatred because he wanted more even though he knew he shouldn’t.

Alec froze in the middle of the open door. He knew he should turn around. He knew he should go and close the door behind him, but he just couldn’t. Jealousy, anger, curiosity... he was frozen in place. He just stood there, rooted to the spot, watching Jace’s hand roaming over the girl’s body, the Herondale ring catching the light whenever he moved his hand at a right angle. Alec was just about to shake himself out of his shock, when Jace's eyes moved away from looking down at the girl. With a piercing gleam he looked directly into Alec’s eyes, seemingly not the least surprised to find his parabatai standing there, watching. Alec briefly wondered if Jace had felt him approach or he deliberately had gone here with the girl, knowing he would arrive soon for their training. Alec shook off the weird thoughts; why would Jace do that? He wasn’t interested in his reactions regarding his girlfriends. Though Alec knew it was not possible as Jace didn’t stop kissing the girl even once, Alec could swear he felt that a smirk was on Jace’s lips while his eyes still held him captive. As much as Jace didn’t stop kissing the girl, he also didn’t stop looking at Alec, the power that radiated from his gaze making Alec gulp.

Jace’s hand found the girl’s skirt and pulled it up just a bit, just enough to expose her well-formed ass cheeks to Alec as she wasn’t wearing any panties. But Alec didn’t look at her. With a pang he realized that he really didn’t have the slightest interested in the girl or her ass. He had wondered if maybe he hadn’t seen enough girls but in this moment, he knew with absolute certainty that he wasn’t into girls. When Alec kept holding Jace’s gaze he knew what he was into; had always been and would always be into without a shadow of a doubt.

Alec’s eyes moved from Jace’s to focus on what he was doing. He watched Jace’s hand, firm and strong, sure and steady, as he caressed the girl. Alec blushed even deeper when he realized he couldn’t stop thinking about how hot Jace’s hand would feel against his own ass, how cold and rough the Herondale ring would feel if rubbed along his naked skin.

Without saying a word, Jace pushed the girl down with one hand on her shoulder while freeing his hard cock with the other. The girl went down willingly, no sign of hesitation in her movements. Alec’s grip on the door tightened so that his knuckles turned white and he fought not to make a sound, not wanting to disturb the moment. He kept staring at Jace’s cock; he had never seen it before. He licked suddenly dry lips, trying to imagine what Jace’s cock would look like from the girl’s perspective. He started to sweat, the palm of his hand that didn’t hold on to the door started to get wet. Even while the girl opened her lips, willingly and eagerly moving closer to him on her knees to take him fully into her mouth, and even as Jace pushed in with slightly parted lips, he still looked Alec in the eyes with a challenging gleam. A challenge and something else. Something Alec couldn’t fully place. Was it desire?

Jace started to thrust lazily into the girl’s mouth, one hand slightly entangled in her red, curly hair, his head resting against the wall behind him, a look of pleasure and bliss on his face. Alec had to bite down hard on his lips to hold back the moan that desperately wanted to get out when he felt the ghost of a touch on his hair through the bond. He was breathing hard, his arousal skyrocketing as he watched Jace take his pleasure from the girl. He kept imagining kneeling in front of Jace just like the girl did now; he imagined that he was the one to bring Jace pleasure and not her. Opening his mouth for Jace to fuck into it.

Jace moaned softly and his lips formed a silent word. A silent name. The sudden taste of metal in his mouth as he bit through his lower lip brought Alec finally back to his senses. Without daring to look one last time, he turned around to flee the scene in embarrassment, Jace’s silent laughter rang in the bond together with Jace’s spiking arousal. Alec felt his cheeks heat in shame at having witnessed such a private moment even as his head filled with confusing feelings and thoughts. Of course, Jace chose this exact moment to open their bond and let Alec feel what he felt, his desire and his pleasure. It left Alec confused and unsure why Jace had done that. Did Jace want to tell him something? Had he done it on purpose? Had he wanted him to see him with the girl? Jace was straight, wasn’t he? There was no chance. Right? No chance he felt as Alec did…

***

“Herondale,” someone said, the name ringing in the training room of the Academy where it was spoken.

The tall, muscular brown-haired Shadowhunter who had addressed him strolled over to Jace. He was new in the Academy but one-year senior to them. Alec knew him, he was a distant cousin of his. One he had never liked and the way he said the name of his parabatai made him certain he wouldn’t start now.

“Trueblood,” Jace acknowledged the other boy by slightly turning his head to the side, but he didn’t stop throwing his knives at the target.

The hubris with which Jace showed off his skills made Alec smile and shake his head. Jace had never been one to tune down his abilities.

Martin Trueblood took the stand next to Jace’s and to Alec’s annoyance, he also hit the target flawlessly.

“I was wondering if you have ever considered taking a parabatai,” Martin asked, giving Jace a curious look.

Alec stood a bit aside, practicing with his bow, but at these words he couldn’t help but look up. For everyone who didn’t know Jace well, his demeanor hadn’t changed, but Alec saw the slight tensing in his shoulders and the hint of a frown before his face fell into his usual cockiness.

“Nah,” Jace said with a smirk and a leer. “Why would I bind myself to someone? I cannot imagine wanting to have to carry such a burden.”

Though Alec knew Jace didn’t mean the words, to hear them spoken aloud still hurt.

“Not everyone would be a burden,” Martin insisted. He laughed, his eyes finding Alec and he nodded towards him. “Of course someone like **him** would be.”

Alec froze briefly, fighting down the wave of insecurity and pain the words brought on. Alec looked away from Martin and Jace just when he saw Jace turning towards him. He cast his eyes downwards, but he felt Jace’s glowing stare on his skin with an intensity that made him look up and meet Jace’s eyes. The mix between rage he saw in Jace’s eyes - a rage that Alec knew was not directed at him - and possessiveness almost made Alec’s heart skip a beat. Seeing Jace’s reaction to Martin’s words made Alec feel instantly better.

“So, Trueblood, are you suggesting that you wouldn’t be a burden? That you are _worthy_ to become my parabatai?” Jace asked slowly, eyeing Martin up and down as if he was a horse he was considering buying.

Jace had now turned around and stepped forward, clearly into Martin’s personal space, a fact that made only one of them uncomfortable and it wasn’t Jace.

“And why is that, uh? What is it that you have that I could possibly want?” Jace asked, his voice smooth and silky, the danger hidden just beneath it.

Martin gulped and tried to take a step back, but Jace’s hand shot out and grabbed him by his wrist, pulling him back. Martin yelped at the pain that Jace’s fingernails caused, unable to form an answer.

“Yeah. I thought so,” Jace said dismissively, shaking his head at him. His eyes roamed over Martin’s body one last time with a mask of disgust normally only Valentine could muster. “You have absolutely nothing I could _ever_ want.”

With that he let go of the other Shadowhunter to return to his target, leaving the other standing as if nothing had happened at all, ignoring him so completely Martin was likely wondering if he even existed at all.

Alec couldn’t suppress a smile when he nocked the next arrow. He couldn’t and he didn’t want to. He was trying desperately to hold on to that feeling of joy, of relief, rather than the hurt he had felt when Jace had talked about parabatais being a burden.

No matter how hard Alec tried, he couldn’t forget the words Jace had said about him being a burden. He was fully aware that Jace hadn’t talked about him specifically, that he had just said it to shut Martin up, but nevertheless the words stung. A nagging voice in his head that never failed to tell him that Jace had made a mistake by choosing him, that he wasn’t good enough, and that sooner or later he would realize that grew louder. Finally, unable to deal with his growing sense of uneasiness and inadequacy, Alec gave in and left the training room, not looking back or waiting for Jace like he usually did.

The realization that he wanted to be more to Jace than being his parabatai - a fact, that had become harder and harder to ignore over the last few months - didn’t help to shut the voice up in the slightest, on the contrary. It grew even louder. Wanting your parabatai, a man in general, but your male parabatai on top of it all, was wrong. Weak. Forbidden. That was what Alec had been told his entire life. But Alec could neither get the image of himself kneeling in front of Jace like the girl had done out of his head, nor Jace’s lips that had moaned a name. His name. Alec could swear it had been his name. Hadn’t it? Or did he just want it to be his name so much that he had made it up?

With a huff he let himself slump on his bed. He had showered and dressed quickly, and his hair was still damp. He was just about to reach for a book laying on the nightstand to try and distract himself from his thoughts of Jace when the door to his room opened and Jace strolled in. He had also just showered and dressed in fresh clothes. Alec could smell him; the mix of his shampoo and the scent that was just him. He smelled like dried lemons. Limes, Alec corrected himself. Jace’s scent was slightly richer and more spicy than ordinary lemons. Jace smelled like limes, fresh and somehow innocent though Alec really had no idea how someone, Jace of all people, could smell innocent. But he did, despite everything, he did. At least to Alec he did. And the fact that Alec had thought this long and hard about how Jace smelled was likely a clue to his feelings.

“Hey. Why didn’t you wait for me?” Jace asked, his voice low and dark, a challenging undertone in it that contradicted his smile and his smooth movements as he walked towards the bed.

Alec rolled his eyes, but couldn’t really muster the usual annoyance that went with the eyeroll. Instead of answering he just shrugged, not even knowing the answer fully himself.

“I thought we were over that,” Jace said with a hint of annoyance.

Jace stepped closer, his whole body language predatory. He sat down on the foot end of the bed, in front of Alec, who instinctively scooted up until his back hit the headboard so that he was trapped between it and Jace. The movement made Jace smile and he moved up on the bed, so close to where Alec was sitting that they could touch, their knees almost brushing against each other. But they didn’t touch and the closeness and lack of touch was driving Alec mad.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Alec mumbled, fighting to maintain eye contact.

Alec bit his lower lip, registering astonished that Jace eyes followed the movement of his mouth, focusing on where he was biting his lip.

“Didn’t we establish that you don’t lie to me, Alec? I know when you do anyway,” Jace said, a warning clear in his tone. He sighed as he added, “You **know** that I said those things about parabatai only because of that idiot Martin.”

Alec looked down, but the heat that radiated from Jace’s gaze made him look up again.

“I know,” he whispered, hating how weak and vulnerable his voice sounded. “But…”

Jace huffed as he used Alec’s hesitation to interrupt, his voice strong and sure. “No buts, Alec. You know why I chose you and that I would choose you every day of the week all over again. I just said it in front of your family…”

“He is **not** my family,” Alec interrupted harshly. They might be related, but Martin was **not** his family.

Jace cocked an eyebrow, scooping even a little closer so that their mouths were nearly touching.

“So who _is_ your family, Alec?” Jace asked huskily.

Jace’s lips were nearly touching Alec’s as he spoke; Alec could nearly feel them on his. He just had to lean in and close the tiny gap between them… But he couldn’t! Jace was forbidden; off limits! So instead he turned his head to the side. His breath hitched when Jace just followed his movement, sitting up a little more so that Alec had to look up at him, but his lips still painfully close.

“You,” Alec whispered hoarsely, his voice betraying his undone state.

His reply didn’t seem to surprise Jace, yet it didn’t seem to be quite what he wanted to hear. Close but not quite.

“Is that so, Alec? Family. Is it not that you want to be a little more than that?” Jace challenged, his voice filled with a dark promise.

Jace’s chest heaved up and down, his excitement barely contained. His breath was hot on Alec’s slightly parted lips and Alec had to suppress a moan. He tried to squirm away, but his head hit the headboard. Alec swallowed, his mouth and throat had gone dry. Alec fought to speak, fighting to get his breathing under control.

“No, Jace. I don’t…” Alec got out, his voice weak and low, the words nervous and tumbling over each other to get out.

Suddenly, Jace’s lips were gone as he pulled back from him, making Alec able to breathe a little easier but also miss the closeness. A hard expression had replaced the heated one while Jace sat back on his heels, contemplating for a brief moment before he jumped to his feet and got completely off the bed. Alec felt oddly cold without him near. Jace walked away from him, towards the door, making Alec feel panic rising and loss settling in, making Alec have a flight or fight reaction, unsure if he should rush after him or stay put.

Jace stopped but didn’t turn to look at him as he paused with a hand on the door handle.

“I said this once before and I’ll repeat it. I don’t push where I am not wanted,” Jace said harshly.

The coldness in Jace’s voice made Alec shiver and not in the good way. What made him speak up was the hurt that lay just beneath the harsh words. The hurt only he could hear because he knew Jace better than anyone else.

“No, Jace, please,” Alec begged, reaching out a hand towards him even though they were too far apart to touch as Alec remained on the bed frozen in place, unable to move, to think, to do anything.

This time, the _no_ had a totally different meaning than the one a few moments ago. Jace turned to face him but his face was closed, a mask of indifference in place.

“Don’t go,” Alec pleaded, letting Jace hear his fear and his desperation, uncaring, just knowing he couldn’t let him leave in anger.

Jace looked challenging at him, waiting for him to continue.

“I want…,” Alec started to say as he took in a shaky breath before he came up with the courage to finally say it. “You.”

Jace looked at him, his eyes already softening, but his stance was still rigid and a questioning frown was still on his face.

“Then show me,” Jace demanded, the tone even and oddly soft considering the command and power in it. There was a heat behind the words Alec had only dared to dream of seeing directed at him and hope shone in his gaze.

Their eyes locked and Alec was just about to ask how; how he could show him he wanted him. That he really meant those words. Then realization hit him. He knew what Jace wanted. He knew what he wanted, had wanted since the incident in the locker room. The same thing Alec had wanted all along but been too afraid to voice.

Alec scrambled to his feet and quickly walked over to Jace who had walked halfway back towards the bed, standing frozen there, watching him with eyes that started to darken with lust. Alec knew his cheeks were heated and red as he kept on walking. It felt a long way, the few steps, and yet so little until Alec had closed the gap between them.

Jace looked at him when Alec stopped before him, a challenge as well as growing desire shining in his eyes. Alec felt his own desire rise as he dropped to his knees without hesitation before the blond whom he had admired and worshipped, loved and cared for for felt like a lifetime. He had dreamed of this moment for so long, even more after he had seen that girl do this for Jace. He had wanted to do this for him, him and only him! He looked up at Jace under his long lashes, before he started to mouth Jace’s cock through the thin fabric of his sweatpants, having taken some pointers from the girl he had watched and from listening to Jace talk about being with girls.

Jace growled when he saw Alec drop to his knees willingly and easily before him. His cock started to harden instantly, especially when Alec started to mouth him. He entangled his hand in Alec’s hair while Alec never stopped to outline Jace’s hardening cock, kissing it through the fabric, licking over it, taking it into his mouth.

Alec had no idea what he was doing, given it was his first time doing anything remotely sexual. But the moment he had knelt down, Jace had lost control over the bond and the feelings of pleasure, want and desire that reached Alec were both overwhelming and encouraging. So, he just continued, looking up from time to time to meet Jace’s mismatched eyes that were already glazed over with lust.

With a groan Jace shoved his pants down to free his cock. Alec was just about to part his lips to let Jace fuck into him, when the rational side of his brain kicked in. This was forbidden! And it was forbidden for a reason. But he didn’t dare to speak up, the fear that Jace would just leave was too high, so he licked nervously over his lips before he opened them. Maybe his nervousness had shown in the bond or Jace saw it in Alec’s movements. No matter what it was, Jace would have none of that. With a forceful tug to his hair Jace made Alec look up until their eyes met.

“What’s wrong, parabatai?” The way Jace held him there, concern mixed with strength in his voice and eyes made Alec shiver with want and need.

“The curse. We can’t…” Alec stuttered, blushing, not wanting to stop but afraid to continue.

Jace ran a finger of the hand that was not entangled in Alec’s hair over his lips. Alec couldn't stop a moan from escaping at the sensual gesture.

“There is no curse, Alec. The Clave and later the Circle just keep up the lie to discourage parabatai from becoming one. Eros doesn’t trigger a curse, it just enhances the power of the bond. They don’t want that power uncontrolled, out of their hands, so they keep up the lie of a curse. Believe me, I have read everything I could find about it,” Jace reassured him, his voice strong and certain.

Alec almost sighed with relief at hearing that. No curse. In a way it didn't surprise Alec. It was very much like the Clave and the Circle to say whatever was convenient. Alec's relief at hearing the news was short-lived however as he fully understood what Jace had said.

“So you want this to become stronger?” Alec asked, needing to know, feeling suddenly cold and hurt at the thought.

Jace groaned in frustration and rolled his eyes.

“Alec. I want _you_. I’ve always wanted _you_ ,” Jace told him strongly, not letting go of his hair, letting Alec feel his strength both physically and mentally. He paused before he added with both warmth and power, “If this makes me stronger I take it gladly, but I want _you_.”

“You...do?” Alec asked joyfully, smiling widely, his eyes filled with relief and warmth.

Jace nodded as he said seductively, “And if you shut up now and open that pretty mouth of yours to let me in, I’ll show you just how _much_ I want you.”

Jace almost laughed when his words instantly made Alec’s gaze darken and the evidence of his arousal was clearly visible through his own sweatpants. Jace fisted Alec’s hair more forcefully, making the other boy moan in desire as he promised with dark seduction, “And later I’ll show you how much I want you by fucking you into the mattress.”

“Fuck,” Alec got out, the image Jace’s words painted in his mind almost enough to make him come right then and there.

“But now, open up for me,” Jace demanded, moving his hand to lightly tap against his cheek, the touch both gentle and possessive, demanding and caring.

Alec obeyed without hesitation. Of course, he did. He moaned when Jace pushed his cock between his lips, the vibration causing Jace to moan in response. Alec hollowed his cheeks and started to suck and twirl his tongue, letting himself be guided by Jace’s moans of pleasure and the raw emotions of need and want in their bond. Kneeling in front of Jace and taking what he was given felt even better than he had ever imagined. He felt loved, cherished, and taken care of - but he also felt powerful. He alone was responsible for Jace’s moans and the desire that was written all over Jace’s face.

When Jace ordered him to relax his throat, Alec complied happily, as best as he could. Each thrust was a little deeper and it got harder to breath, but the arousal he felt made Alec push through it, giving Jace everything the other demanded.

“Fuck,” Jace grunted in pleasure as he felt himself getting closer, lost in the sensation of the heat of Alec’s mouth.

With a grin Jace activated his stamina rune. He pulled Alec off his cock, pulling him up so that they stood face to face. He kept his hand in Alec’s hair when he drew him closer to kiss Alec for the first time. It was Alec’s first kiss **ever** and Jace’s first kiss that meant something to him beside the chase of a quick release. It would be a night of many firsts, for both of them.

Jace’s demanding tongue coaxed Alec’s lips open and he moaned when Jace devoured his mouth. Jace didn’t let go of Alec’s lips even when he slipped out of his pants and pulled Alec’s down. He pushed at Alec’s chest and the raven-haired boy went backwards until his knees hit the bed frame. Just then Jace paused kissing him, discarding both their shirts. Alec just looked at him with pupils blown wide. Jace’s eyes on Alec’s naked body was like fire, making Alec shiver with desire and want. Another push made him fall onto the bed and Jace was on top of him in a second, claiming him once again until both panted heavily, gasping for air.

“I can’t wait to be inside of you, to _really_ make you mine,” Jace whispered in Alec’s ear, while one hand explored Alec’s body, mapping out his runes and fading scars.

Jace bit lightly down on Alec’s neck, just on top of the deflect rune before he started to suck, laying his own marks over the ones that already covered Alec’s naked skin. He gave special attention to the scar over Alec’s heart, the scar he had left behind when they had chosen each other the first time two years back at the hidden meadow in Brocelind forest.

“Please,” Alec moaned helplessly, not knowing what he really said, just knowing he wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

Jace’s sucking was too much sensation and not enough at the same time. His body was already on fire and so sensitive that every additional nip or bite drove him more towards insanity.

“Say that again,” Jace demanded, his voice filled with arousal and desire. At Alec’s confused look Jace elaborated in a tone filled with need, “ _Beg_ me to claim you. I want to hear it. I want to hear you moaning my name, pleading for me to make you mine.”

“Please…” Alec started to say but then blushed, embarrassed at his own eagerness to please Jace and beg for what he wanted. However, Jace’s desire through the bond and the heat and love in his eyes made Alec give up his pride in favor of getting everything he had always dreamt of, “Please, Jace, claim me, fuck me, make me yours. I want you so much. I have wanted you for years. I want to feel you inside. I _need_ you inside of me.”

“Fuck! You sound so beautiful when you beg,” Jace moaned, all pretense at smugness and cockiness gone, replaced by genuine raw desire and want.

Alec was too far gone in his desire to understand what Jace was looking for when he fished for something in the pockets of his sweatpants. He looked puzzled at the small bottle Jace held in his hand. It wasn’t until Jace poured the see-through lube on his fingers and with a sexy wink moved his hands towards his crotch that Alec with a deep blush and increasing arousal realized what was happening. A part of Alec filled away the information that Jace had come prepared as something he would cherish, a sign of his desire and care for him as he had clearly wanted the evening to go like this.

“Oh,” Alec got out when he felt Jace first circle his entrance teasingly and then push in a single lubed digit inside of him, the intrusion a bit strange but nice. And not enough. He wanted more of Jace. He pushed down as much as he could, making Jace give a satisfied dark chuckle.

“Behave, parabatai. I am in control here,” Jace smiled, pushing his finger in and out of Alec in a teasingly, slow rhythm. Alec felt so tight around his finger, the image of him buried completely in him making Jace let out a small moan himself.

Alec had come to terms with the fact that since he had finally let go, there was no going back. He had long ago realized that there was a different kind of strength that existed to the one being practiced in Idris by Valentine and his people. He found the same now to be true in the bedroom. By admitting to his needs and wants openly, by giving in to Jace willingly, eagerly, he would get everything he had ever wanted.

“Please,” Alec begged, breathless with want and need.

“Please what? Shall I add another finger?” Jace asked, his voice filled with desire, teasing and genuine care for what Alec wanted.

Alec nodded desperately, starting to realize that if he asked for it then like with everything else Jace would give it to him. He wanted more than Jace’s fingers but if that was what was on offer, he would gladly take it.

“Verbal answers only, baby. I want to know what you like,” Jace demanded, slapping Alec’s ass lightly, making Alec give a small yelp.

Alec blushed as he felt heat radiating through his body from where Jace had slapped him, oddly wanting him to do it again, do more. Claim him more. Leave marks, signs of his pleasure all over him in addition to the hickeys that already tainted his skin.

“Sorry. Yes, yes! Please, please!” Alec got out, eagerly, desperately, blushing even as he said it but knowing that when it came to Jace then giving in to him and his desires he would get the world.

“Who could say no when you beg so prettily?” Jace said in a voice filled with awe.

Before he added another finger, he claimed Alec’s mouth again in a bruising kiss, his tongue fucking in and out of Alec’s mouth just has his finger had done a moment ago. When Alec lay panting helplessly and desperately under him, hard and needy, Jace added a second finger, his lips again on Alec’s pulse point on his neck. Alec couldn’t help but rock back onto Jace’s fingers, trying to get them deeper into him, even though he had been told to behave. But he just couldn’t take the slow pace anymore. He needed more. He needed it _now_.

“I haven’t done this with a man before, but I’m sure I can find…” Jace said smugly as he curled his fingers inside of Alec, looking for that special spot.

“I haven’t done this at all,” Alec got out, breathlessly, his desire stronger than his embarrassment at saying it.

“I know. We will do it together,” Jace panted while his fingers claimed Alec further, exploring Alec’s inner walls.

“By the angel!” Alec yelled as waves of pleasure ran through him as soon as Jace found his prostate.

Jace smirked smugly as he moved his fingers over Alec’s prostate again and again.

“Fuck!” Alec got out, fisting the sheets when Jace started to fuck him with his fingers, hitting his prostate on each thrust.

“There it is,” Jace said smugly, unnecessarily, as he continued to fuck Alec mercilessly, soon adding a third finger, stretching Alec as well as assaulting his prostate in the most delicious way.

“Jace, please...I can’t…” Alec begged, feeling his cock leaking precome, the combined sensations of feeling Jace in the bond and touching him like this too much.

“Not yet!” Jace demanded, curling a hand around the base of Alec’s cock, successfully hindering Alec’s orgasm from building.

“Jace! Please!” Alec whined desperately, all sense of pride long gone, his hands fisted around the sheets, sweat covered his body as he tried to thrash from side to side but was firmly pushed down by Jace.

“I want you to come when I’m inside you; not before,” Jace told him with desire clear in his voice. “I will tell you when. Got it?”

Alec wanted to say how much that thought made his desire flare even further, how much he wanted that; to come when Jace was inside of him. However, he was too lost in his own pleasure to formulate the words.

Jace let his hand that was not buried deep in Alec’s ass run tenderly over Alec’s body, scratching lightly at the already over sensitive skin. Alec arched into the touch, his body coming off the bed, but he was pressed down by a firm hand and piercing look.

“Got it? I want to hear you. I want to know you want this,” Jace insisted.

“When you say. Not before. Yes, yes. Got it. Please!” Alec babbled desperately, pushing back to take as much of Jace inside as he could.

Jace kissed him one last time before he flipped Alec around so that he was lying on his belly, his hips slightly pushed upwards so that his back and ass were making a perfect line. Jace ran his hand over Alec’s back, pressing light kisses over the scars that Robert had left behind, a low growl starting to form in the back of his throat. He hated that man for doing this to Alec. He should be grateful for small mercies that his own punishments, painful as they had been, had never scarred. Seeing the clear evidence of Alec's pain made him want to strangle Robert with his bare hands.

Alec shivered with desire, Jace’s touch like fire on his skin. With Jace he was no longer embarrassed about his scars, knowing Jace saw them as a sign of strength, of endurance.

Jace’s hand followed down the perfect curve that Alec’s body was making, his ringed finger scrubbing lightly over Alec’s skin, making him shiver even more and voice small needy moans. The Herondale ring felt exactly the way Alec had imagined. Slightly cold, slightly rough, completely perfect. When Jace felt the way Alec responded to the caress, he chuckled lightly and put a little more pressure on his hand, but only after he had turned the Herondale ring around so that the sigils were now rubbing over Alec’s ass, making Alec shiver even more. With the other hand Jace parted Alec’s asscheeks to take a look at Alec’s tight hole that was already glistening with lube from where Jace had used his fingers. He blew on it, the cold air making Alec moan in surprise and his ass clench in response. Without further warning Jace pushed two fingers back in at once, giving Alec the possibility to get used to this new angle. All Alec could do was whine when he felt breached, but again only by fingers when he wanted so much more.

As much as Jace would like to see Alec’s face, as much he needed to feel more of him. He covered Alec’s back with his own body, kissing Alec’s nape.

“Brace yourself. I have been told that this burns a little, in particular the first time,” Jace warned caringly as he lined up his lubed cock with Alec’s hole.

“I don't care! I want it to. I want to feel you. I want to burn with you! Please,” Alec begged desperately, breathlessly, long ready for what was to come now.

Both boys moaned when Jace finally sank in, Alec’s tight ring of muscles slowly giving in to the intrusion, making room for Jace. Jace had been right, it burnt. But Alec liked it; liked feeling Jace inside of him, carving a place for himself inside his own body.

Alec pushed his hips upwards to indicate that he wanted more, that he was ready to take all of Jace. With shallow movements Jace rocked back and forth, trying to make it slow and gentle though Alec’s desire and the pull in their bond in general urged him on. Inch by inch he sank in deeper until finally he bottomed out, buried balls deep in his parabatai.

“Fuck,” Jace murmured, his voice hoarse with desire and lust, “You feel so good. Fuck.”

All Alec could do was moan in response, the feeling of Jace being completely inside him nearly too much. Jace took mercy on Alec and pulled out to push in again, cherishing the small yelps of desire Alec made. Jace set a fast pace, getting lost in the sensation of drawing in and out, each movement causing small joints of pleasure running through his veins like wildfire. His head was buried in Alec’s nape while his hips snapped forward, met by Alec’s own who pushed upwards as far as he could. With a small grin Jace pushed two fingers in Alec’s mouth who started to suck instantly on them. Jace started to push his fingers in and out of Alec’s mouth, matching the rhythm of his hips. The feeling of being fucked by Jace’s fingers and cock at the same time drove Alec slowly, but inevitably towards the edge.

Jace could feel Alec’s orgasm building in their bond and he couldn’t help the smug smile. The thought that Alec would come untouched, just from him fucking him was delicious and brought Jace nearly to the edge. Jace felt his balls constrict, he was close as well and next to Alec’s and his own desire, he felt a tug in the bond that pulled him even faster towards his orgasm.

“Come for me,” Jace whispered in Alec’s ear seductively, his voice dropping at the end, his need and desire flaring out of control.

A shudder of raw sexual longing ran through Alec’s body when he complied, not even thinking about it. He just let go and let his feelings wash over him. Jace’s name was on his lips when he came with a nearly painful force, his orgasm ripping through his body. Jace above him groaned Alec’s name in response when he came a second later, his balls nestling snuggly against Alec’s ass while he emptied himself inside him.

Their joint pleasure spiked until it turned painful as the parabatai responded to the consummated and completed state they had entered. Jace collapsed on top of Alec with a pained yelp. Their hands interlaced on the sheets while waves of pleasure and pain rushed through them, taking possession of them until only the two of them were left, only the parts where their bodies connected mattered. Skin on skin, hands entwined, their hearts beating the same tune. They felt their souls being torn apart a second time by a force that was out of this world. It hurt, it burnt, but the pain felt cleansing.

It hurt like it had hurt the first time when they had spoken the sacred oath in the quietness of Brocelind Forest. Both boys groaned in pain when another part of their souls was ripped away, both moaned when they felt the part of the other taking over the spot that just had been emptied. The new part of the other clicked flawlessly in place just like the missing piece of a jigsaw. The pain spiked when their souls constricted to glue everything together, making their souls whole and unbreachable.

Finally, the pain subsided and made room for the pleasure of feeling the other even more closely, even more intimately than before. Together with the last waves of their joint orgasms it left both completely raw and open, undone. With his last effort Jace pulled out of Alec and rolled next to him on the bed, pulling Alec close until his head rested on his heaving chest. They both panted heavily and Jace closed his eyes briefly, enjoying Alec’s heavy weight on him. They were both covered in sweat and tears and their cocks were spent and sticky but they didn’t notice and didn’t care. All they cared about was each other, laying in each other’s arms.

* _Jace_ ,* a voice rang out. Alec’s voice, filled with love and affection, wonder and awe.

Jace’s eyes snapped open. They widened in surprise. Had he heard Alec’s voice in his head?

* _Alec,_ * he responded, trying to focus on the thought the same way as if he had spoken it.

Alec’s head moved up instantly, the same mix of puzzlement and awe on his face that Jace felt as he looked into Alec’s eyes.

* _Can you really understand me?_ * Jace asked in his mind, surprise and wonder filling his thoughts.

Alec nodded frantically, grinning widely, his eyes filled with astonishment.

* _Yes. You are in my mind. Fuck_ ,* Alec got out, sounding breathless as if that was even possible in a thought.

Alec started to laugh before he kissed Jace, a raw and passionate kiss that was fueled by their joint amazement. Jace’s fingernails scrapped lightly over Alec’s scalp while they kissed as if the other was the oxygen they so desperately needed. When their lungs screamed for real air, they pulled away, but not far.

* _I can’t believe I can hear you in my mind_ ,* Jace got out, cupping Alec’s face while thinking it, pressing another kiss to his lips before he let his head fall back on the soft pillow.

* _Are you ok with that? That closeness? With me being in your head?_ * Alec asked with a hint of worry as he looked down at Jace with a smile on his lips.

It was surprisingly easy to communicate that way. It was like they were made for each other. Their souls were so entwined that their minds thought of the other no longer as a separate person, but an extension to themselves.

Jace nodded, giving Alec a soft and warm look as he chose to speak out loud to put weight to his words, “With you? Always. We just have to learn how to control it, just as we have learned to control the bond before. The feeling of being so close to you is amazing, Alec. I would never want to go back.”

His words made Alec’s face light up with joy and happiness.

* _I love you so much. So fucking much_ ,* Alec thought feverishly, stroking Jace’s cheek.

* _I love you too, Alec. Always_ ,* Jace thought, his expression filled with affection and warmth.

They kissed, soft and gentle this time but Jace was still a little dominating, putting a hand to Alec’s neck and quickly taking control of the kiss. Alec smiled into the kiss, he would never get enough of Jace’s possessiveness. It made him feel loved and desired; something he had never felt before in his life.

Alec let his hand wander over Jace’s skin, over the body he had admired from afar for such a long time. He followed the sharp jawline down Jace’s throat, massaging his Adam’s apple slightly before he moved on to Jace’s nipples just as Jace pulled back, ending the kiss. Jace let out a contented growl when Alec’s nails scrubbed over them. Alec’s hand traced over the scar on Jace’s heart while his other hand started to map out Jace’s defined abs, lingering a little at the prominent V of his oblique muscles. When his hand met their rune a small jolt of energy radiated through Alec. The rune was still glowing and hot, like the fire both had felt when their souls had connected for a second time.

* _Like what you see?_ * Jace thought, a sexy smirk on his lips.

Alec groaned and blushed at the same time, as Jace had already managed to sound smug in his head without having to voice it.

* _In fact, I do,_ * Alec readily admitted, giving Jace a shy but sexy smile.

* _Good. Because you will see a lot of it_ ,* Jace thought, his thoughts edged with desire and humor.

Alec just rolled his eyes but let himself willingly be pulled up when Jace put his hands on his biceps. Alec opened his lips in anticipation to let Jace’s tongue in when Jace drew him close for a heated kiss. He moaned softly when Jace’s hand started to explore him now, pinching his nipples teasingly.

* _We have to see what the bond allows us to do besides the telepathy_ ,* Alec thought, managing to sound breathless even in his thoughts, surprised to feel rising arousal despite having just come so explosively.

* _Hmm._ * Jace agreed, distracted by the desire he felt from Alec and which was building in himself, not letting go of Alec’s nipples. * _I’ve read that our rune ability will be more powerful. We have to try this out. But later._ *

A grin spread over Jace’s face when he flipped them over so that Alec was laying beneath him again, looking up with those warm, hazel eyes. Jace’s grin widened when he activated his stamina rune a second time, Alec’s rune lighting up in the aftermath, indicating Jace was now able to activate Alec’s runes as well mentally if he so desired.

Jace and Alec shared a heated look of wonder.

“Oh. This will come in handy,” Jace chuckled with a sexy smirk.

His words made Alec’s passion flare as his thoughts instantly went to the reasons for Jace’s sexy smirk. However, before Alec could respond Jace started to devour Alec’s mouth, making both forget everything about training or runes.

***

They soon found out that indeed their rune ability had been enhanced. Runes applied by a parabatai were always stronger than runes drawn by a regular Shadowhunter or themselves. But now the force of the runes was amplified even more. Applying the runes burnt. They burnt with the same fire that had been set free in their bodies when they had spoken the holy words and later committed eros. Iratzes healed severe wounds easily and normal wounds healed a lot faster than before. The strength rune made them stronger and deadlier than ever. In addition, Jace was able to activate Alec’s runes from afar without needing a stele as they had discovered that first night. At first, Jace had only been able to activate the same rune he did for himself, but soon he got the hang of it and he could activate whichever rune he wanted on Alec thanks to his pure angel blood enhancing the powers of their consummated bond, without having to trigger his own.

Controlling their thoughts and shielding the other sometimes from their feelings was hard but necessary. Hearing the other constantly was tempting, but also distracting. And also a little dangerous. Both felt the urge to melt together, but both knew that they needed to stay separate people, at least to a certain extent.

The further they were apart during the days or at night during separate missions, the more rigorous their bond, their bodies and souls demanded a union later. But this was a burden both carried willingly, both never getting tired of getting lost in the other, of kissing, caressing, sucking and fucking. Alec had willingly and eagerly given in to Jace, giving the blond everything he wanted and needed, taking pleasure in giving his own love without holding back and receiving Jace’s love and attention in return. And he had been right, he was stronger than ever before from loving Jace, from giving himself to Jace for in return Jace would do anything for him without hesitation and without fail. **They** were stronger than ever before; stronger together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story it would mean a lot to us if you would leave a comment and a kudos (or just a kudos if you perfer). It would be very motivating and mean a lot to us. Thank you :)


	6. How To Change The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec saves a small Warlock girl named Madzie and finds out what Valentine plans to do with all Downworlders. He now has to convince Jace to support a rebellion against Valentine and the Circle. Luckily, Alec knows just how to go about doing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much again to our amazing beta readers.  
> Chapter warnings: Referenced killings, torture, war, rebellion, discrimination against downworlders.  
> Detailed oral sex and dry humping in this chapter. The sex scene starts here "As soon as Alec was before him Jace opened his legs" and ends here “Come, baby. Let's get to bed"  
> Some dirty talk and mild dominance in the sex scene.

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Chapter 6: How To Change The World

Alec hadn't imagined today would change everything. He had an errand to run on the other side of New York for his mother; a simple task that took time but required nothing else from him. Her way of humiliating him; making him do such simple and administrative tasks. But now that Alec had Jace her venom no longer affected him. If she wanted him to play errand boy then fine. It helped that he knew the fact he didn’t react, that it didn’t affect him, annoyed her greatly. A humiliation was after all worthless if the person you wanted to prove a point to didn’t care.

It was Jace now who mattered to Alec, not Maryse. Alec and Jace had graduated the Academy together a year back, Jace had of course been the best in class. He had had several job offers to pick from. Nearly all major Institutes would have loved Jace to join them. Even the Scholomance, where the centurions were trained, the elite warrior troupe for special tasks, had been eager to welcome Jace amongst their own. Alec had been determined to be supportive of anything Jace wanted to do but since they were not officially parabatai and both Valentine and his parents were keen to keep him out of the political limelight, Alec knew he would have had a hard time following him.

To Alec’s relief, Jace had declined joining the Scholomance. Jace had told them that he wanted to pursue a regular career so he would be able to run an Institute or even go into politics in the future, something that was forbidden for centurions. Valentine of course had seconded that; he didn’t hold the Scholomance in high regards, a fact that had created bad blood between them and the Circle - but of course they didn’t dare to go directly against Valentine.

Jace had started to act as Valentine’s second in most things, politically and militarily, sitting in on meetings and decisions.

Alec had hoped to be located far away from his parents and Idris, but Valentine had insisted that Jonathan stayed close to him, to learn to be the heir to his legacy. Jace had put his foot down and made it clear that he didn’t want to stay in Idris itself, claiming he wanted to know what a regular Institute was like to better run one later on. It was a little back and forth between the two of them, but in the end Jace had to give in to Valentine’s demand to then at least go to New York so he stayed within the supervision of Maryse, who, despite her failings with Alec, was still a faithful and loyal follower of Valentine.

As there was no way on Earth that Alec would leave Jace willingly, he had accepted the position the New York Institute had offered him as an assistant to the co-chairs, even if it meant that he had to endure his mother’s and Robert’s treatment longer. The position had not been offered or even granted willingly, but Jace already had enough influence to make it happen. On the bright side then Alec saw his siblings more frequently now, though both attended the Academy themselves and weren’t around at the Institute as much as he’d liked when they came home for breaks.

Alec was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost overlooked the Shadowhunter who was quickly and rashly pulling a small dark skinned Warlock girl by the arm along with him, going in the opposite direction of where Alec was going.

Alec told himself to keep walking; it was none of his business. But he couldn't; the girl looked so frightened. He bit his lower lip as he fought his instincts, knowing he would get in big trouble for interfering, but he couldn’t stand by. Alec followed them some blocks but there were too many people around. Finally, they went down a deserted alley.

Alec quickly caught up with them and looked in all directions to ensure himself he was alone there with the Shadowhunter and the girl before he spoke up, finally drawing attention to himself, having until now managed to follow them silently, unnoticed.

“What did she do?”

Alec's hard and commanding voice made the Nephilim stop and turn to face him, forcing the warlock child to do likewise.

Alec raised an eyebrow at the Shadowhunter who held the little girl in a firm grip. She looked about five. And she looked terrified. Alec’s heart sank when he realized her hopeful expression changed to fear when she saw his deflect rune and recognized him for what he was; a Nephilim.

“She's a Warlock. Isn't that enough?” The man spat, his disgust when he looked at the child clear.

His neck was covered in the dark Circle rune, indicating that he was an early follower of Valentine’s. A hardliner. Probably part of Valentine’s entourage that followed him around, as Valentine was currently visiting the New York Institute to catch up with Jace and hold some meetings with Maryse, Robert and the main leadership of the Institute.

“She's a _child_!” Alec couldn’t keep the accusation out of his voice. How someone could treat a child like that was beyond him, Warlock or not. She was a child. Children were innocent.

“A Warlock! She’s nothing more than a demon spawn,” The Circle member corrected him, sounding baffled that Alec didn’t seem to get that point.

The loathing for the small girl was clearly written all over the man’s face and Alec had to dig his fingernails deep into his own palms to not punch that look off the man’s face. He had to control himself, going against this man at this point openly wouldn’t help the girl the slightest. First, he had to find out who knew about the girl. Alec didn’t know where the certainty came from, but he knew that he would save this girl, no matter the cost. He had done plenty of things that had left him with a guilty conscious, but letting a child get harmed was a line he wouldn’t cross.

“Release her to me,” Alec demanded as he straightened his back to use every inch of his height to tower over the Shadowhunter who was a lot smaller than him. A hard gleam had settled in his eyes and he looked piercingly at the other.

“I can't. I have orders,” the man responded, his voice strong and unwavering, not letting himself be intimidated.

Unfortunately the other was not someone to be easily frightened. Being in Valentine’s more inner Circle seemed to toughen one up. Alec had to try another approach.

“To do what?” Alec insisted just as strongly; he also didn’t plan to back down.

He wouldn’t let him leave with her. And he was curious what they wanted with a little girl. She was barely old enough to be able to command her magic properly. What in the Angel’s name could she have done?

“Interrogate her and then later get rid of her. It is said that she is the ward of the rebel leader Magnus Bane. She might know where he is,” The man explained as he shrugged, indifferent.

He clearly didn’t really care. He had orders and would follow through with them.

“With interrogating and getting rid of her you mean…?” Alec started to say, feeling sick, unable to quite believe what he was hearing.

The man just nodded with an indifferent smile as he shrugged again.

“Torture and kill her you mean. A child!” Alec got out in shock as he shook his head in disbelief.

He knew that they tortured adults, but a child? A small child? Disgust and shame settled in his stomach. He was part of that. Even though he would never do something like that himself, he let it happen by not interfering, by not acting. But not this time.

“A Warlock,” the Shadowhunter corrected with an annoyed air. “Besides, why do you care? Valentine wants to kill them all anyway. It’s just a matter of time until all are dead, and the world is cleansed.”

Alec swallowed hard at that revelation, but he had to focus now on the girl and digest the rest later. A strange calm overtook him as he knew what he had to do, a hand resting close to his weapons belt.

“Does anyone know you have her?” Alec’s voice was carefully neutral to not startle the other Nephilim.

“No. Will you register her while I….”

The man never finished the sentence, a look of confusion and fear forever frozen in his eyes as Alec removed the dagger he had plunged through his neck. The Warlock girl gave a small surprised yell and quickly stepped away. Alec looked dispassionately down at the Shadowhunter as he fell to the ground. Dead. Blood was already gathering around his neck in a small pool that quickly broadened.

“Is he….” The girl asked in a small voice, looking with huge fearful eyes from the dead Nephilim to Alec, rightfully confused as to why Alec would kill one of his own.

Alec’s whole expression softened as he wiped his dragger on his pants leg and put it back in his weapons belt.

“He's dead, sweetheart. He can't hurt you anymore,” Alec said softly, kindly, as he knelt down in front of the girl to be able to talk directly to her and not down to her.

She looked hopeful but still frightened at him.

“I will take care of you,” Alec said with a gentle smile that he hoped looked soothing and not threatening.

“Thank you,” The girl said for a moment’s pause as she seemed to pull herself together.

Her voice was astonishingly firm for a child that had just witnessed a man being murdered and having heard the same man discuss her death. Probably she was used to violence, a thought that didn’t sit well with Alec. She shouldn’t be so hardened and cynical at her age. But it seemed Nephilim weren’t the only child soldiers in the Shadow World.

“Are you old enough to create portals?” Alec asked hopefully.

The child shook her head, looking regretful as she replied, “Not yet.”

“Ok, no problem. We will find a solution,” Alec quickly reassured her. “What's your name, sweetheart?” Alec asked in the same kind tone of voice he had used earlier, contemplating what to do with her.

She needed to be brought to safety right now before someone else would notice her. His mind was spinning with different possibilities, but he dismissed them all as too dangerous. He needed to take her to a natural portal, so she could return to her own people. That was the only way to save her. Relief flooded through his body when he remembered the hidden portal that Jace and he had discovered a while back in the catacombs of the Institute. The portal had been hidden for years, decades maybe even, behind a wall that had been constructed around it. They had found it because they had experimented with their rune powers down there in secret and had knocked down the wall in the process by accident.

The girl gave him a searching look but then seemed to decide to trust him, at least with this information.

“Madzie,” she replied, a tentative smile appearing around her lips.

“Madzie,” Alec repeated, a soft and calming smile on his face to match hers. “That is a pretty name for a pretty little girl,” he complimented to get her to feel more at ease which her answering small giggle indicated she did. “I will show you to a place where there is a natural portal you can use. Can you get to safety after that? Do you know how to use a natural portal and where to portal to?”

She nodded seriously as she said, “Yes. Magnus has provided a safe place for all of us. I know how to get there. I just need to…”

“No,” Alec hushed her, stopping her. “It’s better I know nothing about it. It’s safer for everyone.”

“Oh. Ok.” Madzie said as she nodded in understanding. Way too understanding for a child of five in Alec’s opinion but then life had not been kind to him either at five. The Shadow World was a brutal place and Valentine’s Shadow World was in particular brutal and merciless.

“Come on,” Alec said as he held his hand out to her, giving her an encouraging smile.

A warm feeling spread through his body when she after a moment’s hesitation took his hand, placing her much smaller one into his. Looking at her hand in his made Alec feel a wave of protectiveness for her.

* _Jace_ ,* Alec thought, reaching out for his parabatai through their bond. * _Jace. I need your help. It’s urgent._ *

Alec smiled when he heard Jace in his mind replying back at once, just asking what he needed and not why. The why they would discuss later.

* _Can you remove all Shadowhunters that are stationed between where I am and the catacombs? I need to get to the portal_ ,* Alec sent to Jace, knowing that after they had consummated their bond they could both pinpoint the other’s location precisely at any point in time.

Alec felt Jace’s agreement through their bond as he thought, * _Wait for my go_.*

Madzie just stood quietly by Alec’s side, her hand resting in his while they waited in the alley, hidden and safe, for Jace to give the go ahead.

* _Go_ ,* Jace’s thought reached Alec, filled with power and strength, letting Alec know he had dealt with the situation.

Alec smiled to himself and sent waves of gratitude and admiration for Jace’s quick actions through the bond to him.

Without hesitation, trusting Jace implicitly, Alec moved towards the natural portal with Madzie, who trustingly followed him. He was still cautious, looking around the corners before he went along, but he knew Jace would warn him if anyone was heading his way. Jace always had his back, even from a distance.

Soon they reached the glamoured stairs that led from the city and downwards to the catacombs under the Institute. Madzie expertly managed to open a small hole in the wards around the entrance to the catacombs, proving she was very powerful. When they reached the catacombs she shivered lightly at the cold air and probably the darkness, but Alec squeezed her hand reassuringly and the girl relaxed. They walked for a short while before Alec stopped by the natural portal. The broken down wall indicated a stone arch that at some point had been used to indicate a portal was resting there, hidden and waiting to be used.

“We are here. There is the portal. Are you sure you know how to do this?” Alec asked when they stood before the gateway.

The first genuine smile appeared on Madzie’s face.

“I’m a Warlock,” she said proudly, giving him a strong look. “Of course I know how to use a natural portal. We Warlocks invented portals.”

Alec smiled fondly down on her as he said, “True.”

Alec somewhat reluctantly let go of her hand and Madzie did a quick and ancient spell, making a shimmering waterlike surface appear in the stone archway.

Just when Madzie was about to walk through the portal she turned, a curious frown on her face as she asked, “Who are you?”

“Alec. Alexander Lightwood,” Alec replied without thinking if it was a good idea to reveal his identity to the girl. However, he had saved her life and he felt certain she would not betray him for doing so.

“You are the first nice Shadowhunter I have ever met, Alec,” she said, sounding very sincere in this statement and a little astonished.

“Stay away from my kind. We tend to destroy what is different,” Alec warned with a hint of darkness and sadness.

He gave her a stern look to make her understand he was serious, meaning what he said. Shadowhunters liked to see themselves as the heroes, but most of the time they were far from it, ruling through fear and chaos more than mercy and compassion.

“Different and pretty and unique; like you,” Alec added, softer now to give her a nice memory to return home with.

Madzie blushed lightly at the sudden praise, unprepared for the nice words.

“Bye, Alec,” she said with a small smile.

Alec smiled back as he replied, “Goodbye, Madzie. Take care.”

She nodded before she turned back to face the gateway. Alec watched closely while she stepped through the portal and it closed behind her. Finally, he was able to draw in a relieved breath. He had been able to save her, but he was fully aware that there were many he hadn’t saved and that there would be many more like her in the future if things did not change.

Alec couldn't stop thinking of Madzie and what the Shadowhunter had said as he suddenly remembered the body he had left behind. He cursed inwardly at himself that he hadn’t gotten rid of the body immediately, that he had been too focused on Madzie. However, getting her to safety had been the number one priority. He hurried back to the place where he had killed him and was glad that he was still laying there, undetected but then he had been glamoured as Madzie and he had been, so only someone from the Shadow World could have seen them. Alec drew a fire rune on the man's corpse and it disintegrated. A normal fire rune was not strong enough to burn a body fully, but a rune drawn by Alec or Jace made even teeth dissolve, the extra power they had gained from their consummated bond amplifying the power of the rune tremendously.

The task done, Alec quickly completed his errand for his mother before he started to walk back to the Institute. He told himself to let it go but he couldn't. He had always known Valentine and the Circle hated Downworlders but to kill them all, even someone like Madzie was an entirely new level of evil. Could it be true? Could he really be a part of that? Alec asked himself that question over and over as he walked back although he knew the answer already. He couldn’t.

He knew what decision he had made before he reached the Institute. He needed to do something. Things had to change. But first he needed to verify the information he had gotten from the Circle member.

On the way back to the Institute Alec used his telepathic bond to confide in Jace, explaining that he could release their people again and that he had asked for this favor to see a Warlock girl, Madzie, safe. Alec had never once considered not telling Jace the truth but had been a bit fearful of how he would react. He had after all indirectly made Jace an accomplice to treason had they been discovered with possible devastating consequences for them both that not even Jace could get out of, as Valentine was not a forgiving man. However, he also knew that despite the cruelty Jace had suffered he was never cruel himself, he never had been. He did what needed to be done, but Alec was sure that killing a child in cold blood and erasing the complete Downworld - if what he had been told was true - was very much against Jace’s own morals. Jace had not been thrilled that Alec had put himself in danger, but he had not said much against it either as Alec had saved a little girl. However, Jace’s first concern was Alec’s safety and to accomplish that Jace would be ok with seeing the whole world burn. Alec knew he had to approach Jace with his beginning ideas of rebellion carefully.

Alec found the two people he was looking for in Maryse's office, he could hear their voices out in the hallway. Both of them stopped talking when he knocked. At his mother's command he entered and closed the door behind him. He put the documents she had wanted him to get for her on her desk before he stood at parade rest before her. Maryse was sitting by her desk and Valentine was sitting in a chair by the wall, a glass of whiskey in his hand. He could almost feel the distaste and disgust in Valentine's gaze and the complete dismissal in his mother's cold look. Once these things would have hurt him. Not anymore. Not now when he had Jace. He loved and he was loved. Beside Jace he had his siblings. He had no need for them any longer. They thought him weak but Jace found him strong, found him to be worthy of being his parabatai, his lover and someone he trusted with his heart and soul the way he did with no one else. That wasn’t weakness; that was strength. A different strength than the brutality and brute force they used but strength nonetheless.

“Alexander, good,” Maryse said coldly, barely looking at him as she took the documents from the desk and put them to one side, putting even more distance between them by addressing him with his full name no one normally used.

“There are some documents I want you to look at, logistics mostly. Check they are correct and complete the calculations for supplies,” Maryse ordered, speaking to him as if he were a common office clerk and not her son.

Maryse handed him the documents which he automatically took. Alec knew the task was meant to be humiliating, a testament to his perceived poor fighting skills. However, instead of being humiliated he was glad for the task; it gave him detailed information on Valentine's people which was useful if he ever were to entertain an idea of rebellion.

“You can leave now,” Valentine said dismissively, waving him away the same way one would an annoying fly.

“Sir, I was wondering... what will happen to all the Downworlders when you have defeated the last pockets of resistance?” Alec asked as calmly and respectfully as possible, turning so he was looking at Valentine as he spoke.

He held his breath to wait and see if Valentine would bother with an answer. He was glad he did, though the answer made his stomach curl into a tight knot.

“They die of course,” Valentine said as if that was obvious. He smirked darkly as he added, “I might keep a few alive. As slaves to do magic. Maybe a wolf or two as a pet.”

Alec fought hard to not let the horror at those words show on his face - thankfully he had mastered keeping an indifferent mask pretty well over the last years, having learned that art from Jace who did it masterfully.

“Get to work. I want the reports back tomorrow morning,” Maryse ordered sharply, her patience low towards the unwanted son who had failed to give her the glory with Valentine she had yearned for.

“Yes, ma'am,” Alec replied automatically.

He did a small respectful nod to them both and left the office, hoping his raging emotions remained hidden. Dead. Entire races. The few survivors slaves. He had to do something and do it now! But where to start? His thoughts instantly went to Jace and he knew he had to get him on his side. Not only would he be very useful, but betraying Jace was out of the question. Not only because he loved him, but also because Jace would never forgive him for lying or going behind his back. No, he had to get Jace on his side.

And the way Jace had reacted after he had confided in him that he had saved little Madzie made him feel confident Jace in principle would support a rebellion. However, he would have to be smart about it. He would have to sell the idea right.

An excited gleam settled in his eyes. He knew just how to do that; how to get Jace to risk everything. To risk the cocoon of safety they had created for themselves. Not purely for strangers or morality or what was right. But for himself. For them. For them to finally be free. For them to no longer have to hide in the shadows. For them to no longer have to follow people they despised. A plan was forming in Alec's mind, making his steps determined and sure as a smile started to spread over his lips.

***

Alec had been waiting for just the right moment to bring up his idea with Jace and he knew at once when the moment had arrived. Late that evening he had gone to Jace’s room as he always did - officially they had separate rooms as no one could know about them being a couple. As soon as he had entered and closed and locked the door Jace managed to steal his breath, just by being him. He was sitting in a chair in a corner of the room with a glass of gin in his right hand, watching him come closer, dark desire shining in his eyes, filling the room with his presence and his power. Alec licked his lips, excited and nervous. Aware that if Jace couldn't be swayed the game was over before it had started. Their eyes met, both holding beginning arousal and desire.

Jace gave a sexy smirk as he commanded in a hoarse and seductive voice that almost made Alec moan out loud, “Come closer.”

The command was unnecessary as Alec was already walking towards him but hearing the power and dominance, the fire and desire in Jace's voice turned him on and they both knew it. As soon as Alec was before him Jace opened his legs in a silent invitation and without a word Alec knelt on the floor between them.

Alec put his hands on each of Jace's thighs, looking up at him with lust and love in his eyes.

Jace fisted his hair and pulled his head forcefully back with his free hand, still holding his drink in the other, giving him a look so filled with want Alec felt his own desire spike in response. Alec hissed at the slight pain of the pull, but a shiver of need and lust ran through him, enjoying the feeling how much Jace wanted him, needed him.

Jace grinned lustfully as he bent down and kissed him passionately, leaving them both breathless. When Jace pulled away he gave Alec a look filled with desire as he took a sip of his gin, before he put it on a nearby coffee table. Alec followed the movement eagerly, excited for what he would do next, fighting not to demand, ask, beg for him to do something, anything!

Having put the glass away Jace ran a finger along Alec’s jawline before putting the digit at Alec's lips, his eyes almost dark from desire. Alec parted his lips and sucked wantonly at Jace's finger, drawing a moan from the blond just as he had hoped, making Alec almost glow with pride and desire.

“I was right; you look amazing on your knees,” Jace said huskily, his eyes filled with heat.

His words made Alec smile, soaking up the compliment eagerly. Once he would have thought such words an offence, that playing the role he had seen the girls do for Jace before they had gotten together was ‘weak’ somehow. Now he knew differently. Now he knew such words were a badge of pride; a source of strength and power.

When Jace released his hair, Alec gave him a lust-filled look and eagerly moved even closer to him even though it was barely possible.

“I want to make you feel good,” Alec begged hoarsely in a voice edged with need and desire.

“Manners, baby,” Jace teased, his tone loving despite the order and power of his words, knowing how his words would make Alec’s desire increase – and his own.

“Please,” Alec quickly offered, easily and eagerly.

Alec was always more than willing to beg for it in this game of theirs; to be on his knees for his lover, knowing Jace would take care of him. It was a game both enjoyed playing. Jace needed the reassurance that Alec would do anything for him, Alec needed the affirmation that Jace loved him, cared for him. Alec had carried the weight of the world on his shoulders for too long to not be happy to let go of it and give Jace control, knowing he was loved and cared for.

“Want to taste me?” Jace asked, barely able to control his own desire as he said it.

Alec nodded at once, looking up at him with an enthusiastic expression, “Yes. Please.”

“Strip first. I want to see you,” Jace ordered, leaning back as he picked up his drink and took a sip, wanting to enjoy the show. He loved to see Alec naked and kneeling and all his. There was no greater declaration of love and trust than that.

“All of it?” Alec asked with a blush, excitement clear in his tone, as he got back up to his feet, looking down at Jace as he spoke.

Jace nodded, want clear in his eyes as he said in a voice filled with lust, “All of it.”

Alec forced himself to strip slowly, his arousal increasing when he saw Jace's desire in his eyes spiking and felt it in their bond. When Alec knelt between Jace's thighs again, naked and exposed, he felt almost dizzy with the power coming from the blond in waves. There was something very hot about Jace being fully dressed while he was completely naked. He looked up at Jace expectantly, his eyes on the bulge in Jace’s pants, blushing a bit as he was aware his own erection was quite clear.

“Go on then,” Jace allowed, leaning back in the chair as he took another sip of his drink, his own desire and lust edged in his voice and expression.

Alec didn't waste any time and freed Jace's already hard cock, swallowing him down without hesitation, starting to move up and down, taking him halfway in, teasing, sucking and licking, looking up at Jace to see him struggle to control himself, making Alec feel a rush of power.

“You can go deeper,” Jace insisted in a voice filled with passion, affection in the rebuttal.

Alec intensified his efforts, eager to please, smiling around Jace's cock when Jace couldn’t help but moan softly in pleasure. Jace had to put his glass back on the coffee table to avoid spilling it, way too focused on Alec’s lips around his cock. Alec bobbed his head and took Jace deeper with every turn, trying to make Jace dizzy with lust while staying clear headed himself. It was challenging to put it mildly as he loved this, loved bringing Jace pleasure like this; it was a power rush without equal to know that he and he alone could make Jace go mad with passion and desire. But he had to focus. He had a mission to fulfil.

* _I have always thought you would be a great ruler of Idris. You already rule my world_ ,* Alec thought, sending the thought to Jace via their bond, feeling it was time to bring it up, to start this discussion.

“Very romantic, parabatai,” Jace teased but his heated gaze betrayed that he loved the compliment.

Alec pulled off Jace's cock with a loud _pop_ , looking up at him with wide eyes filled with lust.

“Think about it…. If you ruled we could be together openly, no hiding, no sneaking around. No pending war with the Downworld…” Alec said suggestively, trying to make his point.

“You are not paying enough attention here, baby,” Jace complained as he pushed Alec back on his cock, not willing to interrupt the moment for a political debate.

Alec got the hint. His eyes were still fixed on Jace’s, but he shifted his attention back to Jace’s hard cock, licking the full length before he took him back in. He relaxed his throat as much as he could, breathing through the nose to fight his gag reflex. When his nose nearly nestled in Jace’s pubic hair and he heard the wanton moan Jace didn’t manage to contain, he shifted his focus towards their bond.

_*We could get rid of Valentine once and for all,_ * Alec pushed his thoughts into Jace’s head while he started to bob his own, working Jace’s cock with love and passion. Jace’s moans that grew louder told Alec that he did something right here.

_*Valentine's throne… could be yours. With me by your side. Loving you. Supporting you. No hiding, no shadows,_ * Alec’s voice rang as clear in Jace’s head as if he would have spoken, adding a mental picture of his suggestion to spike Jace's curiosity. He looked up at him as he added another thought, feeling his own arousal spike just thinking of it.

_*You could fuck me there one day; on Valentine’s former throne. Or I could suck you off there, kneeling before you, sitting between your legs as I do now,*_ Alec sent the thought to Jace, complete with a mental image of him leaning over said throne with his ass invitingly up in the air.

“Now **that** I would love,” Jace admitted, his voice hoarse from the same desire Alec felt.

With a groan Jace entangled his hand in Alec’s hair, his hips thrusting lazily upwards to get even deeper into Alec’s mouth and throat.

_*We could do it. Get rid of the Circle, the old Clave members, Valentine… all our enemies dead,*_ Alec's thoughts echoed in Jace's mind.

It got harder for Alec to focus on pushing his thoughts into Jace’s mind the more want and need took over, but he had to make his point. He needed to convince Jace that a new world order was what they needed. A new world ruled by them with Jace as the face and him in the back, supporting him all the way as he already did. A new, more just world that treated Shadowhunters and Downworlders as equals.

“I like the sound of that,” Jace admitted, his eyes shining with desire and power.

If Alec could have smiled, he would have. He knew he had set something in motion in Jace. Skillfully he twirled his tongue around Jace’s cock, causing Jace to close his eyes in pleasure.

_*No more rules. No more hiding. No more barriers. Just us,*_ Alec added as an afterthought while his tongue never stopped swirling.

“Fine. Fine. I'll think about it,” Jace conceded, already sounding convinced. He took a hand to the back of Alec's neck, giving him a fond and lustful look as he warned, “But now enough of that, you need to focus on the real important things here.”

This was the last coherent thought Alec could think before the joy of Jace using his mouth for his own pleasure fully took over and stole away any attempts at reason.

Jace's grip in Alec's hair tightened while his thrusts got more powerful, relishing the hot feeling around his cock. The way Alec’s throat constricted around him when he pushed in deeper made him shiver. He wouldn't last long now. Tears had started to run down Alec's face from how deep he kept trying to take Jace inside but Alec didn't mind. He loved the feeling of Jace using him, of the way Jace couldn't hold back his desire for him, of knowing he had this power over Jace. That he and only he could make him lose control. It was arousing and intoxicating in a way nothing else was. Alec had never felt more loved or cherished as when he had first realized that his mouth could make Jace moan like that. He never felt more powerful.

“Want me to come down your throat or on your face?” Jace asked breathlessly, clearly fighting to control his orgasm to wait for Alec’s reply.

* _On my face,_ * Alec managed to think, before he quickly added, * _Please_ ,* feeling his own desire increase by begging for it, begging to taste him and feel the claim that his cum would leave behind.

From the feedback loop in their bond Alec could tell that both his pleading and his request to have him come on his face had almost pushed Jace over the edge. That knowledge made Alec want to smirk proudly if only he didn’t have his mouth full.

With a groan Jace pulled out of Alec's mouth to fulfill his request.

“Ahh!” Jace came explosively all over Alec's face, painting him in white smears and spots, his eyes darkening with desire when he saw Alec opening his mouth to try and catch as much of it as he could.

Jace watched with rising heat as Alec took a hand and wiped the cum from one side of his face, blushing but keeping eye contact as he licked it clean, sucking on his fingers as he had just sucked on Jace's cock.

“You taste amazing,” Alec moaned, his words filled with lust and his hard cock twisting at admitting that.

“Fuck, Alec. You could tempt a saint!” Jace exclaimed laughingly, almost tempted to go another round, turned on by just looking at Alec like this.

Jace never thought he could get tired of this; get tired of just how into him Alec was. That was undoubtedly one of the greatest turn-ons ever. The way he gave him control made him almost dizzy, knowing too well that this was a gift. Alec was strong, he didn't need to submit to him like he did. He didn’t need to beg for it for Jace loved and needed this as much as Alec did. But that Alec submitted willingly, showing him over and over again how much he meant to him, how much he loved him had rocked Jace's world and he had become addicted to it, to Alec and his love, in a way he had never thought possible. Especially because Jace knew that Alec didn’t love him just because he was skilled or because of his name or his blood; he loved him because he was him.

“I love you,” Alec said softly, his voice filled with lust.

Too turned on by the blowjob he had just given, Alec couldn’t help but move closer to Jace’s nearest leg, rutting against it lightly but then faster and faster, seeking any friction he could get against his leaking cock, almost out of his mind with want, having felt Jace’s orgasm in their bond.

Jace noticed what he was doing and felt Alec’s desire in their bond. The look of desire on Alec’s face, the need and want when he looked up at him was intoxicating. He was tempted to have Alec sit on him or turn over so he could fuck him; if he activated his runes he could easily go another round. However, he could feel in the bond that Alec was seconds from coming, he just needed a little push. Jace smiled seductively; he knew just how to push him over the edge.

Jace fisted Alec's hair and turned his head up so they were looking at each other with lust filled eyes, enjoying the moan of pleasure Alec let escape at feeling Jace’s hold on him, eagerly leaning into the touch as he rutted even more against him. Jace smiled even wider, he loved the eager display of Alec's desire, the way he looked at him with such naked need, fully trusting Jace to push him over the edge, to bring him the pleasure he wanted the same way that Jace did with him.

“Want to come, parabatai?” Jace asked, a teasing note filled with power, fondness and passion in his voice, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it. Nothing was as rewarding, as intoxicating as Alec's eager surrender and burning need for him.

“Yes, please!” Alec begged, his voice hoarse with desire as he kept moving against Jace, despite trying to control himself, blushing as he gave into his burning need. He was so close but not quite there yet.

“Grind against me and show me how much you want it. Want me,” Jace ordered, his voice edged with desire, power and lust, his eyes shining as he looked down at Alec.

Alec shuddered with desire at the words; Jace had always been better at dirty talk than he had been. Sometimes Alec thought he could come just from listening to Jace’s words, untouched. Just from his words and the tone of his voice.

“Yes! yes!” Alec got out as he moved faster and faster, throwing his head back, moving furiously against Jace.

After Alec had taken his pleasure for a few moments, lost in his chase for his orgasm Jace used the hand he still had in Alec’s hair to get him to look up at him.

“Getting close?” Jace asked, his voice harsh and echoing with lust, starting to get hard himself from seeing the naked need in Alec’s eyes.

“Yes!” Alec got out desperately, Jace's words and power fueling his desire. He prayed before he begged, sounding more needy than ever before, his own words, begging for it, making him leak even more against Jace’s leg as he got dangerously close to the edge and still not there, “Please… Can I come, please?”

“You can beg prettier than that,” Jace teased, feeling Alec's desperation to come in their bond, feeling how his words made Alec's desire flare even higher, certain he could push him over in seconds now.

“Please, Jace let me come. Please. I've been good. I need it so badly. Please,” Alec babbled, rubbing against Jace fanatically, not really sure what he was saying, his own words and Jace’s power bringing him to the edge, feeling like his brain was on fire with arousal.

“Then come. Come for **me** ,” Jace ordered, his eyes intense on his lover, enjoying seeing him like this, so lost in pleasure.

“Yes!” Alec screamed as his world exploded in fire when he came forcefully against Jace’s leg.

Small shivers ran over his spine while the after waves of his orgasm hit him. Alec rested his head against Jace’s knee, enjoying the soft strokes Jace was giving his hair, almost feeling like purring contently, an almost drunken look on his face as he enjoyed the afterglow. Jace never disappointed; he could always give him the most out of the world orgasms he had ever experienced.

“Well done. You did so well for me,” Jace’s voice was low and soft, full of the love he felt for Alec.

Alec closed his eyes, bathing in the praise and the softness.

“Hmm,” Alec got out, smiling happily, his voice raw from the abuse of the blowjob, his throat sore in just the right kind of way.

They sat like that for a few moments with Jace stroking Alec’s hair lovingly, his thumb running occasionally over Alec’s throat and deflect rune.

“Come, baby. Let's get to bed,” Jace said tenderly, nudging Alec lightly to make him get up.

Before Alec stood fully Jace pulled him down again to kiss him possessively, tasting Alec and himself still on Alec’s lips.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Jace said lovingly as the kiss ended.

Alec just nodded, looking affectionately at him with an adoring look, still feeling out of it, smiling stupidly.

Jace guided Alec into his bed with a protective and possessive arm around his waist. Alec almost purred when Jace went to get a washcloth and cleaned them both up with loving attention. He then curled up behind Alec, a blanket covering them both. With soothing hands he stroked Alec’s hair, kissing his nape lightly.

“I think your idea is good. Me ruling Idris with you by my side. No more hiding our relationship or our parabatai bond. For all of Idris, all of the Shadow World to see you are **mine**!” Jace whispered into Alec's ear, causing his skin to break into goosebumps.

Alec smiled in victory as he replied, “Yours. Always.”

Jace tightened his arms around him as he repeated affectionately, awe and love in the word, “Mine.”

“I love you, Jace,” Alec whispered softly, turning in his arms so he could steal a kiss.

Jace smiled tenderly as he said, “I love you too, parabatai. Always.”

They fell asleep like that, with Jace holding around Alec, both of them smiling. This was the start of a new era. It was time for a regime change; it was time for a rebellion! Valentine’s time was ending; Valentine just didn’t know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It would mean a lot to us if you would leave a comment or a kudo. Thanks so much to anyone who does :)


	7. Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace and Alec gather their allies and start the rebellion against Valentine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to our amazing beta readers as always.  
> Chapter notes: Killing 2 bad guys (stabbing and poison) . Planning war, rebellion. Also, debate on Alec and Jace's parents maybe dying in the rebellion which both are ok with.  
> Mild sexual content (masturbation and dirty talk).  
> Starts here for the masturbation: "Jace had started to...." and ends here "*Wow. That was"

_ Please read chapter notes for detailed warnings  _

# Chapter 7: Making Plans

It had been a couple of days since Alec had brought up his idea of a revolution to Jace. They hadn’t spoken about it again and Alec knew better than to push. He knew it was best to give Jace time to think the matter through on his own, to consider the risks and potential benefits. He would be lying though, if he did not admit he was getting impatient. He really wanted Jace onboard with this; he wanted this to be their moment. 

“We have to think things through thoroughly,” Jace suddenly said thoughtfully, startling Alec a bit as he spoke after they had been lying together in silence for a few moments. 

They lay in bed, curled up against each other, Jace having one arm slung around Alec’s waist protectively. Possessively. Just the way Jace loved to do and Alec loved when he did. 

A smile tugged on Alec's lips at Jace’s words. Finally! Relief was flooding his body at hearing Jace’s words. He didn’t need a clarification of what they needed to think through; he knew precisely what Jace was referring to. 

Alec turned around in Jace’s embrace so he could see his face. He pressed a passionate but loving kiss to Jace's lips before he answered. 

“We need allies. We won't be able to overpower Valentine on our own,” Alec said matter of fact, having thought about this a lot in the last few days.

Jace nodded in agreement and smiled fondly at Alec. His lover’s eyes were strong and thoughtful, showing his intelligence, his ability to scheme and plan their future even now from within his lover’s warm embrace. Or maybe in particular because he was within Jace’s embrace.

“You have already made plans, haven't you?” Jace concluded affectionately, a hint of admiration in his words.

He took Alec's chin in his hand and tilted his head to be better able to kiss him. The kiss was strong and dominating, showing Alec how cherished he was to him; how proud Jace was to call him his. 

“You know I like to think ahead,” Alec replied when he was able to breathe again, blushing a little at the admiration in Jace’s eyes,

Of course he had made plans. Alec had been thinking about this carefully, certain Jace would agree even if he had worried. He was still sure he would support this, support him.

“I know. That’s one of many things I love about you,” Jace told him warmly and stroked his cheek tenderly, making Alec blush even more.

“I love you too,” Alec replied at once, easily, eagerly, smiling adoringly at him as he leaned into the touch.

“I like that we are always a step ahead,” Jace said with a smirk as he removed his hand from Alec’s cheek and his expression got serious and businesslike as he asked, “So what plans have you figured out?”

“I think we have different angles we should be pursuing in parallel,” Alec explained after a moment of reflection, thinking about his ideas and how he had reached them. At Jace’s encouraging nod Alec elaborated, “First, we need to find allies among the Downworlders. Given Valentine's course of action they shouldn't be too hard to find.” He paused before he admitted honestly, “The hard part will be to make them trust us and our plans. That we don't just want to replace Valentine with you and that you, being Valentine’s heir, will just continue his politics but that having you as a leader would mean real change for the Downworld.”

“That's why you should go talk to them. Everyone knows that he loathes you and how badly he has treated you. They will therefore be more ready to listen to you, to trust you,” Jace concluded, following Alec's way of thinking and from Alec’s expression he knew Alec had been about to suggest just that. 

Alec nodded grimly at the reminder of his past abuse as he said strongly, “I agree.”

Jace gave him a warm look, briefly touching his cheek tenderly as he said, “Don't worry Alec, it won't be an empty promise. I really want to change things. If we take the risk of challenging him it has to mean something.”

“If or when?” Alec asked carefully, giving Jace an intense look.

Jace smiled reassuringly at him as he replied firmly, “When.” Alec relaxed at hearing that, smiling happily at him. Jace’s expression got serious and his eyes on Alec were now worried as he added, “However, we  **really** have to make sure that we are prepared. We just have this one chance. If we fail, we are dead. And not the easy, quick kind of dead. The slow and painful one.”

Alec nodded seriously. He was not afraid of that. He was sure they could win; that they would win. Besides, he would rather die than continue to live under Valentine. Valentine thought him weak but Jace found him strong. Valentine would think that when he went on his knees for Jace like that girl had once done, that that showed his weakness, his unworthiness. But Jace had shown Alec that he considered his ability to kneel like that, to submit like that, a treasure, a gift beyond words. Alec might give Jace power over him but Jace gave it right back. He was more than willing to kneel for Jace, literally, to have the blond look down at him with adoration and arousal in his gaze. But he was no longer willing to kneel for Valentine, even if this had always been strictly metaphorically, knowing Valentine saw only weakness in his attempts to seek his approval and his love. 

“So, I will talk to the Downworlders. See who is willing to help us. We have to make sure to get the leaders of the Downworld with us; that will help our cause,” Alec said thoughtfully. Jace nodded at that as Alec went on, “And I can spy on our own.”

“How?” Jace asked curiously and a little concerned.

Alec shrugged as he explained matter of fact, “They don't take me seriously. None of them do. They often talk as if I am not even in the room. I am just the office clerk; the administrative staff.” He paused before going on. 

Once saying that, knowing it was true, would have hurt him. But not now when he was lying here safe within Jace’s embrace, feeling Jace’s protection and possessiveness, knowing he wanted him, was proud to claim him as his. Knowing that nothing could hurt him. Jace held him tighter, a flash of anger at hearing what Alec said flashing over his face. Alec gave him a calming but grateful smile.

“I will just melt a little more into the shadows. This way we can discover what Valentine is planning,” Alec went on. He paused before he gave Jace a meaningful look as he added, “And maybe you can use some of that information to discredit the most dangerous and most powerful of his supporters. By knowing enough truth and adding a hint of lies and intrigue you can spark Valentine’s suspicious nature and get him to replace them with Shadowhunters that are loyal to you. To us.”

Jace grinned widely as he gave Alec a quick and hard kiss before he proclaimed, “You are brilliant!”

Alec blushed and smiled as he said warmly, “So are you.”

Jace’s eyes flashed golden in joy at his words and he kissed him again. When he drew back Jace was humming thoughtfully. 

“There are some that would definitely follow me and not Valentine. Underhill. The Blackthorns. Probably the Carstairs. I know not everyone condones Valentine’s harsh methods, there is a secret movement among Shadowhunters who want the Accords back. We should get rid of Inquisitor Aldertree and Valentine’s right hand man Malachi at the first possible opportunity.”

Alec nodded as he said darkly, “I agree. They need to go first. They are both too dangerous otherwise.”

Jace gave Alec a searching look, filled with worry as he asked, “What about your parents, Alec? They are loyal Valentine supporters. In particular your mother.”

Alec’s expression hardened as he replied in a cold voice, “You mean my mother who did nothing but lie to me? And tossed me aside the moment I was not useful to her anymore? I really don't care. And Robert? He is no better than her. And you know who my real father is.”

Jace nodded grimly, in complete agreement with Alec’s words and judgement of his mother and Robert. He was the only person Alec had confided in regarding Valentine being his real father and they planned to keep it that way. It would do them no good to acknowledge the fact that Alec was Valentine's true son at this point. Alec had struggled enough with the fact, but Jace had reminded him again and again that blood was not what defined them. Actions defined them. The way they thought and felt defined them. Not how they were raised or what blood ran through their veins. And though many suspected or even knew that Alec was Valentine's child, no one dared to speak officially about it, the fear of Valentine's wrath too profound, helping Alec keep his secret.

“So, you don't mind if they get burnt in the process?” Jace asked directly, to be sure, fighting to control his desire for revenge and bloodlust against the two people who had mistreated his Alec so horribly for years! 

Alec shook his head as he replied in a sinister voice that held edges of remembered pain, “No. Burn them all!”

Jace smiled a dark smile full of promises. 

“Oh, we will! We definitely will!” Jace promised as he clashed their lips together in a hard and bruising kiss, sealing their pledge of revenge and change.

When they drew apart for breath Alec looked slightly dazed and Jace had to fight to stay clear-headed too.

“We will make sure that your siblings are safe and as far away from things as possible. They can later help us, but they are too young for the real war - and maybe also too conflicted when it comes to Maryse and Robert,” Jace vowed, knowing Alec worried about them even before he had time to voice it.

Through their fire messages they constantly exchanged with Izzy and Max at the Academy they knew that in their hearts Izzy and Max didn’t support Valentine, but Max was still a child and to be protected.

Alec smiled warmly at Jace’s thoughtfulness and took one of his hands to his lips. Maintaining eye contact, he kissed the knuckles of his hand, his enjoyment rising at seeing how Jace’s eyes darkened with desire and power at the gesture. 

When Alec released Jace’s hands he fought to control his own want as he asked thoughtfully, “Agreed. But what about your parents?” 

Alec looked at Jace, who frowned at the question. His parents had never been real parents to him, mostly away and busy with other things. They were true followers of Valentine and he couldn’t imagine that they would rethink their allegiances.

“If they are willing to accept the new world order, I will be willing to let them live. But in no way in a position of power. We could send them to Wrangle Island. But if not, which I think is the most likely outcome, if they will keep supporting Valentine they will be treated just as any other supporter of Valentine. I am not ready to make any exceptions,” Jace said dangerously.

Alec nodded in agreement to that as he snuggled closer to him. 

“We have to sort who of the ones in power positions are secretly working against Valentine. If there are any. It would be good to have experienced people alongside new ones,” Alec said reflectively.

Now it was Jace's turn to nod as he replied, “Yes. I would prefer to have some experienced leaders on our side to not create a vacuum.” He paused before he added unnecessarily as he knew Alec had thought of it, “But we cannot claim to want to establish a new world order and take over old Valentine supporters. We have to ensure that those who remain are truly in favor of us.”

They were silent for a while, just their emotions were flying through their bond effortlessly. Alec snuggled close and rested his head against Jace’s chest, closing his arms around him, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat. Jace carded his hand through his hair, his fingernails scrubbing over Alec’s scalp soothingly.

“What about the Scholomance?” Jace asked suddenly, his grip in Alec’s hair temporarily tightening. Alec looked up at him as Jace went on, “Do you remember the unease between them and the Circle when we graduated from the Academy and they tried to convince me to join them? I think there would not be much persuasion necessary. They are not regular warriors, but their special skill set, their secrecy and also their reclusion could be a good place to start. They might be of help to plan this revolution and help execute it. Maybe they also know which Institutes are more likely to join us than others.”

“Yes, I remember. Valentine despises them as they hold other things, other values in higher regard than his  _ Shadowhunters are meant to rule the Shadow World as we are chosen by the Angels _ crap. They are more dedicated to the Head of the Scholomance than Valentine himself and I think it would be only a matter of time until Valentine will go directly against them,” Alec replied thoughtfully. He paused before he added, “So yes, I think this would be a good place to start.” He winked at Jace as he went on, “I think it is time that Valentine’s heir pays them a visit to learn their ways of doing things.” 

He tilted his head a little and closed his eyes in anticipation to make Jace kiss him and the blond complied happily. Their joint emotions of joy mixed with excitement and anticipation crashed over them through their bond. 

It was done, Alec thought. The first step was done. The revolution was set in motion.

***

As agreed, they started with the Scholomance. Valentine had condoned Jace’s trip, as he saw it a good way for Jonathan to learn more about them - and find a way to forbid their old institution without risking the wrath of the Shadow World. Most Shadowhunters held the Centurions in high regard, but Valentine wanted to get rid of them. That Jace planned exactly the opposite didn’t occur to Valentine of course, but it was very helpful to the revolution to learn about Valentine’s plans for them. Jace requested Alec to join him, and though Maryse wanted to reject it just out of spite, one raised eyebrow from Jace and a hard look in his eyes that reminded her awfully a lot of Valentine made her change her mind instantly. She agreed to let Alec go with him. 

It proved to have been a good call to bring Alec along. The Head of the Scholomance, Sarah Verlac, was weary of them, especially Jace. She didn’t really have a reason to believe them and Jace didn’t want to be too blunt either. They had strong suspicions that she was not in favor of Valentine, but so far they didn’t have proof. 

They were all sitting together in Sarah Verlac’s dining room, finishing dinner and continuing their conversation within a conversation. 

“Of course, I and the whole Scholomance support Valentine, our legit leader. Who else would we support?” Sarah Verlac said calmly, matter of fact.

Her face was a mask of indifference, but she had raised her eyebrow slightly at the last question - a rhetorical one, or an honest one. It was hard to tell. She, Alec and Jace had danced around each other for a while now, but they weren’t any wiser. 

“Yes, indeed. Who else could there be?” Alec asked eloquently. 

With Jace by his side and a mission to complete Alec had lost his shyness and insecurity that had followed him through his childhood and adolescence. He looked pointedly back and forth between Sarah and Jace to get the point across that Jace was the answer to  **that** particular question. But he also knew they needed more to convince her. 

“I’ve heard Magnus Bane was one of the few Downworlders who ever came to visit the Scholomance,” Alec said and gave Sarah a wide smile that showed a lot of teeth. 

A guarded expression settled in her eyes that could not fully hide the curiosity. 

“Well, that was before it is said that he is a threat to our community and an enemy to Valentine,” Sarah said carefully. 

Alec nodded at once as he said, “Of course.” 

Alec paused before he went on conversationally, but with an intense gleam in his eyes, “I stumbled across a little Warlock girl who needed a little help some time ago. Madzie, a friend of his apparently. She is an endearing little girl.” 

He hoped their suspicions were right and Sarah had connections to Magnus and she would verify this information - and he hoped Madzie remembered him and his name. 

Sarah looked at both of them thoughtfully for a moment, the frown on her face slightly relaxing as she made the decision she had been struggling with since they had arrived.

“Well, would you two like to have a tour? I have some things to take care of, but Cartwright will be happy to show you around. He is one of our most promising students,” Sarah stated, before she sent a fire massage to said student, who appeared a few minutes later in the doorway to the dining room.

When they came back from their little tour, her demeanor had changed. Instead of leading them to her office or the living rooms, she led them to another room that had a strange atmosphere. It looked like a spare room but was huge and a certain energy ran through it. She closed the door and applied a locking and silencing rune.

“This is a safe place to talk. Wards are applied next to our rune protection, so there is no way we can be overheard by anyone,” Sarah explained when she looked at them. She gave them both searching looks as she asked seriously, “So, you are serious? You want to change things?”

Jace and Alec met her searching gaze evenly and strongly.

Jace nodded as he said in a confident and firm voice, “Yes, we do.” 

Sarah relaxed a bit at finally hearing this confirmed in words, directly.

“Valentine’s way is wrong. We don’t condone mistreatment of Downworlders. We also don’t condone the closure of the Scholomance, something Valentine is planning. We want to establish a new system with equality for all beings in the Shadow World. But we need allies, inside and outside of Idris,” Jace said, his voice steady and sure, the way a true leader spoke. 

Alec and Jace exchanged a smile and a victorious thought. 

Without missing a beat Alec continued to explain what they wanted to change and how, without giving away too much detail this early in their rebellion. 

Sarah looked intensely at them, nodding from time to time and adding a few things. She agreed she would contact Shadowhunters in favor of their cause and arrange meetings or other ways of communication between members of their growing rebellion. Another step in overthrowing Valentine’s regime was set in motion.

***

Back in Idris with Valentine, Jace fed Valentine a few pre-discussed false information about the Scholomance that satisfied his desire and plans to close it in the long run and also convinced him how valuable Jace was. In the aftermath of this mission, Valentine agreed that Jace needed to travel more to gather more intel among their own. Valentine wasn’t so blind as to believe that every Shadowhunter was a true follower and he hoped to detect rotten apples and get rid of any opposition to his power with Jace’s help.

They chose their destinations carefully. After long consideration they decided that it was better for them for now to split up. Jace would travel to various Institutes and Alec would remain in Idris to find out more about Aldertree, Malachi and others for Jace to be able to discredit them. They also still waited for a sign from Magnus Bane, the unofficial leader of the Downworld. They hoped to meet him sooner or later to discuss the cause of action in more detail.

Though the Southern American Enclave was run by Jace’s parents who were strict supporters of Valentine, there were single Institutes that didn’t follow him as strictly as the Herondales. They started with Mexico and the Rosalez family, a family known for their ties to Seelies and other Downworlders - which put a target on their backs the more radical Valentine got. 

Sarah Verlac had stayed true to her promise and spread the word that Alec and Jace were planning to go against Valentine. Even with her smoothening the way, it took Jace a while to convince the Rosalez family. It was well known that Valentine considered Jace to be his heir and fear and mistrust were rooted deeply, but Jace stayed patient and persistent and again, the mention of Madzie helped to convince the others in the end as their Downworlder allies had told them the story of the Warlock girl who had been rescued by a Shadowhunter. 

After Mexico he visited L.A. that was run by the Blackthorns. The Blackthorns had always been an unusual family of Shadowhunters. They had always held morals higher than the law of the Clave, what had resulted in their family motto  _ lex malla, lex nulla - a bad law is no law.  _ On top of that, two of their children were half Seelies and Valentine had always been weary of them, but as the Blackthorns were an old and wealthy Shadowhunter family he hadn’t gone directly against them so far. But Andrew Blackthorn, the Head of the Institute, was not hard to convince. As Jace had suspected, the Carstairs who were closely connected to the Blackthorns, joined their resistance as well. From there on it was easier, the more people joined the easier it was to convince others, though they stayed cautious who to let in on their secret - if Valentine suspected anything too soon, they would have lost. Therefore, they chose mainly people like the Rosalez or Blackthorns, who had something to lose themselves by letting Valentine stay in power.

During Jace’s travel activities, Alec and Jace stayed in contact via their telepathic bond. The further they were apart physically the harder the telepathic communication got, but after a while of practicing they got the hang of it.

*Hey my love,* Alec’s voice rang clear in Jace’s mind, filled with love and warmth.

A smile tugged on Jace’s lips when he heard his lover, while he sank exhausted into a chair in his assigned room at the Mumbai Institute. 

Alec always seemed to know when he needed him. Jace felt instantly more relaxed than he had the whole day. Talking politics, being careful not to tell too much but enough to assure the allegiance of the other was something he got better and better at, but it was still tiring. He still preferred a real fight than the ones behind the scenes.

*Alec,* Jace sent back, the word, the name, filled with fondness. The smile in his voice was hearable even though it was only a thought.

*I miss you, Jace,* Alec sent, his thoughts filled with love and longing. 

Jace rubbed tiredly over his face while he reached for the glass of gin on the table next to his chair that he had poured himself, but Alec's confession made him instantly feel better and a warmth spread in his belly that had nothing to do with the alcohol.

*I miss you too. Just another city and then I’m done for now. I don’t think I can stand another minute without you after that,* Jace admitted.

Jace felt Alec nod his agreement, their bond humming its own response. Jace felt the strain that was put on their bond due to being physically apart for so long. It was a constant push and pull, an itch that spread from their joint souls through his whole body, leaving them both unsettled. 

*I can’t wait until I'm back in your arms,* Alec thought, love and need coming through the bond to Jace.

Alec’s longing was palpable and Jace felt his desire spike, despite his exhaustion.

*Oh. I can't wait to have you back and do all the things I want to with you,* Jace thought, love and lust, desire and possessiveness reaching for Alec through the distance.

Jace smirked in pleasure when he felt the echoed wave of desire from Alec. 

*I’ll take you apart piece by piece until you scream my name, until your world starts and stops with me and nothing else matters but this. Then I will put you back together again and bring you back down to earth,* Jace promised with dark desire. 

Jace’s breath was hitching when he heard Alec’s moan in his head in response to his thoughts and he chuckled. He really couldn’t wait. He needed Alec and he needed him soon. 

*Jace,* Alec thought, the name like a prayer, filled with need.

*I will claim you like I claimed you the first time, kiss you until you are breathless and fuck you until only I am on your mind,* Jace swore, driven on by Alec's desire that flooded him like water. 

*Fuck. Please,* Alec thought, his need and desire echoing in the bond.

Jace had started to palm himself through his pants while he painted more thoughts into Alec’s head, urged on by Alec’s moans and the arousal and want he could feel in their bond. His breathing got ragged the more they continued. Jace came explosively with Alec’s name and image on his mind. He felt Alec come a second later, their joint pleasure waving back and forth in their bond in an endless stream.

*Wow. That was something!* Alec admitted, managing to sound breathless in a thought.

Jace chuckled but couldn’t help but agree. 

*I really can’t wait to see you for real, Alec. But now tell me about your progress. Did you get something on Aldertree or Malachi?* Jace asked after they had both come back down from their high, taking a sip of his drink. 

Jace felt Alec’s sigh in response to his question in their bond. 

*No, not yet. They are really loyal to Valentine. I learned more about Valentine’s plans to wipe out the complete Downworld, though. But nothing we can use against Aldertree or Malachi,* Alec admitted regretfully.

*Then we will have to deal with them the old fashioned way. We just kill them and frame someone else. I will think of something and someone to blame,* Jace concluded darkly, matter of fact. 

Jace could feel Alec’s agreement to that plan through the bond.

*But I made progress in a different area. Tomorrow I will meet Magnus Bane. In person,* Alec revealed. 

Jace smiled at Alec’s proud tone he heard in his head. But Alec was rightfully proud. Meeting Magnus was a huge step. Getting allies among Shadowhunters was one thing, getting the true support of the Downworld another. Jace knew he needed the support of them, especially of Warlocks, for his plans, but he also wanted their support. The change they aimed for could only hold if the Downworld was behind it as well. 

*Well done,* Jace praised and he felt Alec beam through the bond, knowing how much he needed praise. 

*Thank you,* Alec sent back.

*And you’ll do great,* Jace assured Alec, as he could sense Alec was nervous about the meeting.

*Do you really think so?* Alec asked a bit shyly, nervously. 

*Of course, my love. You’ll be amazing,* Jace proclaimed with firm conviction. 

Jace felt Alec’s smile at his words and he knew he was right. Alec would be amazing.

***

Alec tried to remember Jace’s words when he prepared for the meeting the next morning. Magnus Bane had given him the address of a safe house where they would meet. Alec could feel the heavy magical wards that surrounded the house even from a distance. Despite his efforts, he was a little nervous. Not nervous that Magnus would use this opportunity to harm him, but that he couldn’t convince him to join forces. He trusted Sarah who had helped arrange this meeting and who had vowed for both their safeties.

Magnus hadn’t come alone, he had an entourage with him. Another Warlock, a Vampire, a Seelie and a Werewolf. Alec was sure that this was not a coincidence, but that Magnus made sure that all involved parties were in the end convinced of the outcome. He swallowed, but this was the only nervous sign he showed outwardly. He had learned a lot from Jace in this regard.

“Alexander Lightwood,” Magnus greeted as soon as Alec stood before him.

Magnus’ eyes roamed shamelessly over Alec’s body, but Alec pushed the blush successfully down.

“Magnus Bane,” he replied, his voice as even and indifferent as Magnus’ had been.

“I’ve heard you could also go by another last name,” Magnus said evenly, his eyes piercing and intelligent.

Alec wasn’t at all surprised a man like Magnus would know of the rumors regarding his father; Magnus was clearly powerful and connected. He wasn’t sure if this was meant as an insult or just a statement, but he wouldn’t take the bait either way. He was not here to discuss his parents.

“Well, if I could choose it would be Herondale,” Alec replied smoothly, his rune sending waves of reassuring heat through his body when mentioning Jace’s last name as his possible own. 

He had deliberately stated his allegiance with Jace, but the thought of really carrying his last name at one point painted an alluring image in his mind. Alec shook his head slightly, he needed to focus on Magnus now.

“Is that so? And why would I care about that?” Magnus looked at him, his stance still withdrawn but his eyes had warmed up a little, clearly pleased he had chosen that name and not Valentine’s own. 

“Because that is the name that carries the hope for a united and equal Shadow World,” Alec said strongly as he held his eyes fixed on Magnus’, ignoring the other people in the room for now.

At his words Magnus’ eyes flashed shortly yellow, revealing his Warlock mark.

“Huge words for a little Shadowhunter. Why do you think the Downworld should care to side with the lot of you anyway? We could rule the Shadow World on our own, doing the same to your kind that you did to us,” Magnus challenged.

“Maybe you could, maybe you couldn’t,” Alec admitted, looking at each Downworlder in turn. He paused as he considered his next words before he went on, “But even if you could, it would just mean that in a few years time another war will be due. Shadowhunters would not accept the rule of another race, not in the long run. Maybe you could suppress us for a few years, maybe even decades. But what would that make you? It would make you exactly like Valentine and his Circle, the people you claim to loathe and despise.” Alec paused, watching Magnus carefully before he continued but the Warlock hid his emotions well, “No, the way to true peace is the one that allows us to rule together. We are not planning to just get rid of Valentine and replace him with Jace. We want true change, with equal rights for all. A cabinet that represents all Downworlders, a justice system that allows judgement to be passed only when all parties are involved in the process. No more Shadowhunters judging Downworlders. To accomplish that, we need to work together. We need to start to trust each other. We have one chance and we should plan it carefully to avoid unnecessary bloodshed. Besides all that, we all know that there are demons only Shadowhunters can deal with and I doubt you want to share our world with demons.” 

Alec took a deep breath and watched Magnus’ reaction. He had put his heart in this little speech and he hoped it showed.

Magnus was quiet for a little while, looking Alec up and down as if to judge if he was telling the truth. Alec tried to keep his calm even when a magical bubble appeared that gave Magnus the opportunity to talk to his people without Alec hearing anything. The Downworlders debated the matter for a while as Alec tried to look patient even if he was getting more and more nervous and eager to hear what they concluded. It felt like forever but was only a few moments before Magnus wave his hands around and the bubble dissolved.

A small smile had appeared on Magnus’ face as he started to say, “So, little Shadowhunter…” 

“The name is Alec,” Alec dared to interrupt, respectfully but firm. 

Even though they needed the help of the Downworld, the Downworld needed them as much. Otherwise they would have attacked already. He was not here as a solicitant but a negotiator.

Magnus nodded approvingly at him at that at seeing the strength in him as well as the respect. 

“Well, Alec. You can call me Magnus. I think it is time to talk more in detail about what you are planning and how we can combine our forces. It is about time that things change,” Magnus offered with conviction. 

Alec felt relief flooding his body, but he didn’t let it shine through. Instead he gave a curt nod.

“Yes, indeed. We need to talk about specifics,” Alec agreed.

And talk they did. It was a little like a dance, two steps forward, one to the side and occasionally one backwards. Trust was not something that could be established in one meeting. Magnus wanted a signal, something that proved they wanted true change.

“Malachi and Aldertree will be replaced soon by Shadowhunters loyal to us. Would this be sign enough?” Alec asked, remembering Jace’s words from the night before about wanting to kill them soon to ensure they could not block their plants.

“How are you planning to do this?” Magnus asked curiously with a hint of awe and disbelief. 

“Leave that to us. We will handle them,” Alec said strongly, having complete faith in Jace’s abilities as he had in his.

“Okay. If you truly replace them with people we know and trust, we have an alliance,” Magnus offered after a moment of reflection and after getting nods of agreement from the other Downworlders.

Magnus extended his hand for Alec to shake which Alec gladly took, the deal sealed.

***

The opportunity to deal with Aldertree and Malachi arose a few weeks after Alec’s meeting with Magnus. 

As Valentine’s right hand, Malachi normally accompanied Valentine on his travels, but this time, Valentine decided to leave him behind to deal with Downworlders they had caught just the day before Valentine’s departure who had attacked an Institute loyal to Valentine in retaliation of a Downworlder having been unjustly sentenced to death for something he hadn’t done. It was Alec and Jace’s moment to strike without having to fear that Valentine found out what they were up to.

Alec had overheard Malachi and Aldertree agreeing to meet to discuss how to deal with the captive Downworlders; whether they were to be executed or experimented on. Aldertree and Malachi were not exactly friends, they just had a professional relationship with some conflict of interest here and there, a fact the pair of parabatai planned to use now. The meeting between Aldertree and Malachi was set to start at four in the afternoon that day. When Malachi was alone for a moment, Alec approached him to deliver him a false message from Aldertree to let him know that the meeting would be postponed 15 minutes. Malachi didn’t even look at Alec, he just nodded and dismissed him like another foot soldier with a wave. Alec smirked when he walked away. Maybe Malachi would remember him after this day, though maybe not. He wouldn’t be alive for much longer to remember him anyway.

Aldertree was sitting in the Inquisitors office at four sharp, already getting a little impatient as Malachi was not showing up. Thanks to the hidden silencing rune Alec had applied earlier to the office, Aldertree was oblivious to the fact that the two guards who were constantly placed in front of his door left their positions to investigate a magical disturbance nearby - a magical disturbance Alec had staged with the help of Magnus and which was nothing more than smoke and mirrors. 

As soon as the guards were gone, Jace slipped into the office, unseen by anyone. He held his dagger in a firm grip but kept it hidden, out of sight by his side as he walked further into the room and towards Aldertree who was sitting behind his desk without preamble. Jace was not nervous. Though he knew Aldertree from childhood on, he held no warm feelings for him. Aldertree was a cruel man not capable of affection and Jace didn’t mind killing him. The moment they had agreed on plotting a revolution, he had known that it would not go without bloodshed. And he didn’t mind having blood on his hands when it was blood from people like Aldertree.

With steady steps he came to stand before Aldertree who looked up from the papers on his desk, giving him a questioning look.

“Jonathan. This is not a good moment. I have a meeting…” But Aldertree was never to finish his sentence. 

Jace mentally activated his speed rune and was next to Aldertree’s chair in a second. Aldertree wasn’t even able to make one last sound when Jace’s dagger found its way into his flesh, penetrating into his chest to the hilt. Jace smirked when he saw Aldertree slack into himself in his chair. He knew he was dead even before he checked his vitals. Jace knew that his dagger had pierced his heart. He left the dagger where it was and turned around, leaving Aldertree’s lifeless and slumped body behind. As quietly as Jace had entered the office, he snuck out of it, making sure that nobody saw him.

Five minutes later Malachi entered the office, a surprised yelp on his lips when he saw Aldertree’s body and the blood on the desk. With a few huge steps Malachi was at his side, bending over the corpse, searching for his pulse. This was how the guards found him. Blood on his hands and his clothes, leaning over Aldertree. 

The guards made quick process of Malachi. Despite his affirmations that he had done nothing, they took him into custody. They were a little wary due to his position as Valentine’s right hand, but the evidence seemed clear - and they were encouraged by Jace, who happened to come by a little later. They brought Malachi down to the catacombs in a solitary cell like Jace had suggested to them. The cell was old-fashioned with see-through iron bars and only a small bunk inside an otherwise empty room.

Jace waited until it turned night before he approached the cell. He carried a victorious smile together with a small bottle. When approaching the cell, he made sure to stay in the blind spots of the surveillance system. 

“Jonathan!” Malachi exclaimed relieved, thinking he had an ally in Jace as he believed them both to be loyal to Valentine. “Let me out of this cell. You know I haven’t killed Aldertree.”

Jace had to suppress a smirk when he answered, “In fact, I do know that. But I am afraid I can’t just let you out of the cell. We need proof that you are innocent.”

“What kind of proof? You know as well as I do that the Inquisitor’s Office is one of the few rooms with no surveillance.” 

Jace nodded, of course he knew - that was why he had chosen to kill Aldertree there. 

“I have a truth serum here. Just drink it and then we know you are telling the truth,” Jace offered with a fake smile.

Jace placed the glass jar on the floor by the cell, still carefully avoiding the cameras. Malachi looked at him with a little doubt in his eyes, but eventually he took the glass flacon, just barely able to get it through the iron bars. Jace grinned when Malachi put it to his lips and drank. 

“I didn’t kill him,” Malachi repeated, sounding confident and smug in his conviction, certain he would be let out now.

“I have a truth to tell you, Malachi. It’s not a truth serum. It’s poison,” Jace told him with a dark smile. 

Malachi looked shocked at him, a look of horror and disbelief on his face. With those words Jace turned around and left, a vicious gleam in his eyes. 

The guards found Malachi dead the next morning. When they checked the surveillance tape it only showed Malachi drinking the poison on his own account, letting everyone believe that a friend or family member had helped him commit suicide to keep his honor intact after being caught murdering Aldertree.

It took Jace only little persuasion to replace both men with people of his choice. He had praised Arthur Blackthorn and Maria Rozalez several times in front of Valentine for being faithful supporters. Valentine followed his line of thinking that it would be good to have fresh blood around, people who were not yet involved in any shenanigans. It had been a blow for Valentine that his right hand man had gone behind his back to murder one of his best men, so Valentine was glad that Jace got more and more involved in politics and made useful suggestions. After talking to Blackthorn and Rozalez, who had been carefully instructed to say exactly the things Valentine wanted to hear, the choice was made. Without Valentine noticing, he helped tighten the noose around his own neck. 

With these changes the deal with the Downworld was sealed and the rebellion was fully formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story please leave us a comment or kudos. It would mean a lot to us 💖


	8. Change Is Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Together with Magnus and the Downworld Jace and Alec start their revolt against Valentine and his allies.  
> Jace and Alec cement their relationship to each other before the whole Shadow World.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to our amazing beta readers as always.  
> Warnings for this chapter: Rebellion, fighting, killing bad guys. Maryse and Robert die (referenced but not described). Details Valentine dying.

_Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings_

# Chapter 8: Change Is Coming 

The deaths of Aldertree and Malachi were the signal the Downworld had waited for. Both Rozalez and Blackthorn, the replacements Jace had been able to install, had strong ties to the Downworld and with their help, Shadowhunters and Downworlders forged a strong allegiance. 

Alec met with Magnus again, this time with Jace. Slowly, their plan started to take form. Time was running out, as more and more Downworlders were captured and either experimented on or killed, but they also knew they had to be careful. They couldn’t rush into this. They had one chance to make their move, one chance to strike. One chance to win it all – or lose everything.

After several meetings between Alec, Jace, their allies and Magnus and his allies, they had an agreement on how to attack. As the Silver City was protected against Downworlder entry - they could only get in when granted permission - Alicante was never highly guarded, a fact they wanted to use to their advantage. Unknown to most, there existed a secret passage between Alicante and the Seelie Realm. It was unused, as only someone with both Seelie and Shadowhunter blood could open it, due to a century old charm that had been put on the access. Half-Seelies, half-Shadowhunters were nearly unheard of, so the passage had fallen into oblivion, only a few ancient and powerful Warlocks still knew of the secret passage - one of them Magnus Bane. Even he hadn’t thought of the passage in a long while, but when his eyes met Helene Blackthorn, who accompanied her uncle Arthur Blackthorn to the secret meetings, it dawned on him. They had someone with both Seelie and Shadowhunter blood among them. 

Helen would open the passage from the side of the Seelie realm, where half of their Downworld allies would gather. The other half would wait in Brocelind forest until their signal appeared. Magnus was fairly sure that from the inside he and his friend Ragnor Fell, who was nearly as powerful as Magnus himself, would be able to open the gates to the Silver City, as the protections around the city were mainly aimed against someone coming in unwanted, not against Warlock magic from the inside. Once opened, the Downworlders waiting in Brocelind Forest would flood the city, so that they could attack together from both sides, coordinating their attack with the allies positioned in the Seelie realm. 

The Shadowhunters under Jace and Alec’s command would attack from within. Their main target was of course Valentine. They all agreed that it was crucial to take him out as soon as possible, as a lot of Nephilim were loyal to him personally, believing in his power and strength. Their loyalty might waver the moment their feared leader was dead; it was hard to appear undefeated and superior if you were dead. 

Once they had gained control over Alicante and thus Idris, they would give the Heads of the Enclaves that were not in their favor throughout the world the chance to surrender and then a fair trial - or war. Valentine had the most loyal followers in Alicante so Jace and Alec hoped that their attack would take most of them out together with Valentine. 

They had now agreed on the plan of attack. The question remained though when they should carry it out.

The key rebellion leaders were gathered at a secret location Magnus had found, debating when to carry out their strike. They had been working for a while and everyone was tired. They were sitting in a large room in the back of a fancy restaurant somewhere and thanks to Magnus no one lacked a drink to take the edge off these stressing preparations. 

“We need an occasion where most of Valentine’s allies gather together,” Jace said, looking at everyone around the table as he took a sip of his whiskey, sounding frustrated, stating the obvious. 

After a short thoughtful pause Alec commented with rising excitement in his tone and his eyes, “It’s Valentine’s birthday soon.” 

“What? Do you want to buy him a present?” Arthur Blackthorn asked puzzled, rubbing a hand tiredly over his face. He had no idea what Valentine’s birthday had to do with anything.

But Jace’s eyes were already glued on Alec’s, their minds throwing thoughts back and forth. The clearing of a throat interrupted their silent communication. Magnus looked at them with an amused raised eyebrow, and a too knowing expression in his eyes. Alec and Jace pulled themselves together at once. No one knew about them being parabatai, and they wanted to keep it that way. Though they suspected now that Magnus knew anyway. 

Jace coughed a little, while rubbing his hands together in glee as he explained the idea Alec had shared with him in their minds, “It is Valentine’s birthday in two weeks. And this year, I think it is time for a celebration. I will convince him that this will be a good signal to send of his power and superiority. To show everyone that he is not bothered by Malachi’s treason. I will tell him how doing so shows his strength.” 

Alec nodded eagerly as he continued to explain their plan, “Jace will suggest that Valentine also uses the birthday celebration as a kind of test, a trust exercise.”

“Trust exercise?” Raphael, the vampire leader, asked intrigued.

Jace nodded, smiling darkly as he elaborated, “Valentine invites his core people. All who truly follow him will come and Valentine believes he can then check who is loyal to him. We, of course, will use it to make sure that all Valentine’s most loyal followers and key people are there at the birthday celebration. However, we also make sure our allies and supporters are there, strategically positioned before the main attack on Valentine and his followers, hiding among the guests. Hiding in plain sight.” 

Magnus looked at Jace, nodding slowly. 

“And you think you will be able to convince him?” Magnus asked.

“Yes. I know how to handle him by now. His ego is as big as it can get and if I appeal to it in the right way, he will hold a celebration and even think it was his idea in the first place,” Jace assured him confidently. 

“How about weapons?” Maia, the werewolf leader asked. “How will your allies win if you are not armed?”

“I will convince Valentine to host the reception at the main government building; it has a large reception hall. We can hide weapons there in the coming two weeks,” Jace assured, giving Alec a questioning look as he said it.

“I have free access to that building when I do errands for my mother or others at the NYI,” Alec told everyone evenly.

He was not embarrassed to tell how he was treated as a simple clerk; with Jace’s love he no longer doubted his worth. His eyes caught Jace’s and he could see how Jace was beaming proudly at him, listening intensely and interested in what he was saying, making him smile back, knowing that this was precisely why the humiliation Maryse and Valentine thought they were giving him by making him run errands didn’t sting at all. 

“I can plant weapons there, using a glamour to keep them covered. No one pays any notice to me there; it shouldn’t be hard,” Alec concluded, giving everyone a strong and sure look.

“Good. I will give you a potion that will further help glamour the weapons. A single drop will be enough,” Magnus said.

Alec nodded as he smiled, “That would be great. Thanks.”

Jace looked around the table, seeing everyone’s determination and strength. His eyes settled on Magnus as he asked, “Will your people be ready in two weeks’ time? I think we have done most of the preparations, but let’s make sure.”

“My people will be ready. Make sure you are,” Magnus said with something between a warning and a promise as he smirked at Jace.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. I was born ready,” Jace replied with a little wink and a cocky smile in Magnus’ direction. 

Alec just shook his head, smiling fondly at his parabatai. But it was true, they would be ready.

***

Alec lay in Jace’s bed in his room at the Institute, knowing he should go to his own room but tonight of all nights he wanted, he needed, to spend the whole night here. The risk they would be discovered now was minimal.

Alec’s back was pressed against Jace’s chest who was spooning him from behind, encaging him with his arms. Alec loved falling asleep like this, surrounded by Jace. It always made him feel loved and protected. And yet tonight he wasn’t sleeping. Jace’s breathing was even and he appeared asleep, but Alec knew he wasn’t; he could feel it in the bond. They should both be sleeping, but neither of them could. Tomorrow was the day it would all come to an end, one way or another. Tomorrow was Valentine’s birthday celebration. Tomorrow they carried out their attack. 

“You’re awake.” Alec stated accusingly, drawing circles with a finger on one of Jace’s arms.

Jace just chuckled, the sound soft and close to Alec’s ear, his breath hot against his skin. 

“And so are you. Nervous?” Jace asked, a hint of worry in his words.

Jace kissed Alec’s throat while he pulled Alec even closer until he could feel Alec relax a little more. 

“I don’t know. Maybe a little,” Alec admitted as he bit his bottom lip. 

Alec took a calming breath, forcing himself to focus on drawing invisible patterns on Jace’s arm, as if he were marking him as his and marking himself back, saying I love you with the gesture and proclaiming their connection to each other.

“It’s just…” Alec started to say quietly but then had to stop, the rest of the words remaining unspoken but still ringing loudly between them, _Maybe this is the last time we see each other for real._

Tomorrow Jace would be at Valentine’s side to help prepare everything for the night’s celebration to go smoothly - and help prepare for their attack of course. Alec was not invited up there with Valentine, Jace, Maryse and his other core people but was of course still expected to attend but as a common guest. Alec was happy for that as it enabled him to position their people and instruct all newcomers that came for the celebration and were their allies. To tell them where to go and what to do, as well as guide their people to the glamoured weapons. When all their people were in position Alec would alert Jace, telepathically, and Jace would find Alec. Then together they would lead the attack.

Jace understood the unspoken words, he could feel Alec’s worry in the bond.

“I know,” Jace whispered against Alec’s nape before he sucked a small hickey into Alec’s skin, making Alec turn his head to give him better access, moaning ever so softly in pleasure. 

Jace sighed contently when he saw the red mark he left behind and the goosebumps that spread all over Alec’s body. 

“It’s all or nothing. But I’d rather have nothing with you than anything else where we still have to live in hiding. I want the world to know that you are mine. That we belong to each other,” Jace said lovingly, possessively, kissing the mark he had just made. 

“I still can’t believe sometimes that you truly want me,” Alec said a little sheepishly, his voice filled with love and awe. 

Jace bit lightly down on the red mark he had just made, making Alec moan at the claim. He then turned Alec around with a hand on his shoulder so that he was facing him now. Jace smiled when he saw how Alec’s eyes had darkened with desire.

“You better start believing it soon. I plan to want you my whole life,” Jace murmured strongly, passionately, heat and love in his words and eyes that left Alec speechless.

Jace cupped Alec’s face with both his hands before he kissed him, deep and thorough. Alec gave a surprised yelp when he found himself pinned to the mattress a second later, his wrists caught in Jace’s strong hold and moved up above his head. 

“We’re supposed to sleep,” Alec reminded him, the protest weak even in his own ears as he couldn’t keep the lust and desire out of his voice.

There were few things as exciting and erotic to Alec than looking up at Jace looming above him, feeling his power and strength as he pinned him down to the bed, see the hunger in Jace’s eyes. Hunger for him. 

“Hm. I disagree. We’re supposed to do other things right now. And don’t you dare try to convince me that you don’t like my suggestion better,” Jace teased, his voice filled with dark seduction and heated promise that had Alec almost moan out loud at the pictures he was getting in his head.

Jace rolled his hips pointedly, rubbing their cocks together and Alec groaned in defeat when he felt his cock already hardening at this one touch.

“You’re impossible,” Alec protested fondly as he went pliant under him, licking dry lips, his eyes and voice showing his increasing arousal.

“And you love me for it,” Jace retorted. 

Jace grinned wickedly while his hips snapped forward again brushing teasingly again over Alec’s hardening cock.

“That I do. But…” Alec got out in a heated voice, his eyes half-closed at the sensations.

But Alec would never finish the sentence, as Jace started to grind down on him in earnest, making Alec moan and shiver with want. Jace’s lips found Alec’s throat again and he sucked another claim next to his first. When he drew back Alec opened his lips in anticipation of a kiss - but as suddenly as Jace had started, he stopped. His hips were out of Alec’s reach and Jace’s lips hovered over his own, but not kissing him.

“Jace,” Alec whined, too far gone already to say more. He thrashed a bit against Jace’s hold on his wrists, wanting to reach for him, to get him back. However, Jace mentally activated his runes, easily keeping him pinned down. 

“You said but,” Jace reminded him, raising an eyebrow at him, teasingly, strength, and arousal clear in his voice. 

He chuckled at the whimper Alec gave in response, consumed by his need. Alec again moved under him, but he easily held him down, his lips just close enough for Alec to feel his breath.

“Please Jace,” Alec begged desperately, sounding as needy as he was.

“You’re right, we should sleep,” Jace went on, smirking at Alec, pulling a bit back from his lips.

Alec could feel Jace’s want and arousal in the bond and knew very well that the last thing Jace wanted to do was sleep. Just as he couldn’t think of sleep any longer. Jace’s desire made Alec beg, needing, wanting Jace. Now.

“Please Jace. Please. Please kiss me,” Alec got out, his voice hoarse with desire, his eyes focused on Jace’s lips. 

“Only kiss?” Jace challenged, teasing and lust in his voice 

His lips were close to Alec’s again. So close Alec could nearly feel them on his own now.

“Please kiss me and then fuck me,” Alec got out, blushing but his need made him forget his embarrassment. In fact, saying what he wanted, begging for it, just made his arousal increase. 

Jace chuckled, his eyes filled with desire. 

“Now we are talking. And who could say no when you beg so prettily?” Jace whispered lustfully, making Alec beam from the praise. 

Alec made a happy noise in the back of his throat when finally, Jace closed the gap between them, their lips finally meeting. The kiss was filled with passion and power and Alec easily melted under his lover, allowing Jace access; loving to feel his strength. The noise turned into a groan when Jace started to grind against him again. Soon Alec was lost in the sensation of being kissed, of Jace’s cock rubbing against his, making him moan and beg loudly, thankful for the silence and locking runes on Jace’s door that kept them safe. Alec screamed his pleasure out loud, knowing Jace loved to hear him and feeling his own passion skyrocket from doing it, when a little later Jace finally gave in to Alec’s pleas and started fucking him. First rough and needy with forceful thrusts and later tender and soft with gently rolling hips and lots of kisses.

Afterwards Jace cleaned them both up and Alec fell asleep with his head on his shoulder and a contented smile on his lips. Jace closed his arms around his lover and smiled as well as he drifted off to sleep, feeling more at peace than he ever had been despite the important day tomorrow. 

***

It went all according to plan. They had decided they needed Valentine and his key people out in the open to make it easier for Alec and the other archers to shoot. The open area would also make it easier to separate their friends from their enemies. Jace had convinced Valentine to give his main speech for his supporters outside in the courtyard of the building. When Valentine started speaking Jace could sneak away and find Alec. 

While Jace was doing this Alec would have gotten their people ready, armed with glamoured weapons and him and the other archers would be on the rooftops. 

Meanwhile, Helen had opened the secret passage, enabling Magnus and Ragnor to slip through and open the gates towards Brocelind Forest. When this was done, they would give a magical signal and both parties would start to enter the city, one from the side of the Seelie realm through the passage, one from the forest.

When Valentine started his speech Jace left as quietly as he could. He passed their people, ready, who nodded to him, before he went to the rooftops and found Alec. Here they waited for the signal from Magnus and Ragnor. When they saw the sparkles covering the grey November sky, Jace nodded grimly to Alec, standing by his side, watching the sky with him from the roof, their archers behind them, the soldiers downstairs, awaiting Jace to begin attacking.

“It’s time.” Alec said unnecessarily as they all knew the signal, trying to hide the tension and nervousness he was feeling.

“It is, my love.” Jace grabbed Alec by the lapel of his leather jacket and pulled him down for a last kiss before their ways parted briefly.

*I love you* both thought at the same time, their eyes holding for as long as possible as Jace went to the edge of the roof. 

Jace winked at Alec as he activated his runes and jumped down, landing elegantly on the ground next to the building. Alec grinned fondly as he watched Jace from above, positioning his archers.

Then all hell broke loose as the Downworlders started to flood the courtyard and the streets of the city. Quickly the air was filled with screams and yells. Quickly Alicante resounded of fighting noise and the smell of blood as Circle members recovered from the shock of Downworlders invading their city and started to fight back. 

As soon as the Downworlders started attacking, Alec and his archers started firing on any and all enemy they could spot from above. Meanwhile Jace ran head on into battle, their people following him. Alec focused on Jace, clearing a path for him with his arrows. He was heading towards the back, towards the podium where Valentine had been speaking from and which he was still close to. 

Jace spotted Valentine in the crowd, fighting off several attackers with a blade. His eyes lit up golden as he activated several runes, his hatred for the man burning bright. 

* _Alec, I am going left_ ,* Jace thought, sending the thought through the bond to Alec, indicating his intended route to get to Valentine. 

* _I’ve got you covered_ ,* Alec vowed as he kept his eye on Jace as he moved, his arrows cutting down any Circle member that even came close to him.

* _I know_ ,* Jace sent back because if Jace was sure of something, then it was that Alec had his back.

* _Be careful_ ,* Alec couldn’t help but add as he saw that the Circle members were starting to realize Jace was a target which meant Jace had to cut down some of the enemies with his blade as there were too many for Alec’s arrows.

However, there was no doubt with his pure angel blood he was far the superior warrior here, even with several attacking him at once. 

* _Aren’t I always?_ * Jace sent to him, his cockiness coming through in the thoughts. 

* _No,_ * Alec’s answer rang in Jace’s mind without hesitation.

Jace chuckled at Alec’s honest reply as he darted forward, while Alec watched him closely and cleared as much of a path for him as he could. 

Jace was a blazing fire, cutting down the enemies that got in his way. Shadowhunters followed him, all with glowing seraph blades in hand. Soon they reached the Downworlders who had entered the courtyard and for the first time in ages, Shadowhunters and Downworlders fought side by side. Against their enemies. Against the Circle. 

Once Valentine’s followers realized what was happening, a lot stopped fighting and either stood passive by, getting out of the way, or outright started to fight with the Downworlders and the Shadowhunters who had initiated the rebellion. However, enough enemies remained who stood loyal to Valentine and they were now closing in on their leader, surrounding him to protect him. 

Alec stood stall and proud at the edge of the rooftop, shooting Jace’s way free, protecting him from above and simultaneously making sure that he didn’t shoot allies, also those who were switching sides during the battle. Alec was calm now, the familiar rhythm of nocking, drawing, and releasing soothing him. There was no hint of his old nervousness left, just confidence and determination running through his veins. With a proud smile he saw Jace fight, moving among the enemies as if it were a dance and not a fight for life and death. 

“The arrows! Watch the arrows!” A Circle member screamed as arrows cut them down from the rooftops above so rapidly it was as if it was raining with arrows. 

Each arrow hit its target, there was not one misplaced. At least not the one’s shot by Alec. Jace took a second to admire the view of his parabatai, who stood tall against the grey sky on the highest rooftop, his bow an extension of his limps. He had to shake himself to focus on his own battle. He grinned when he noticed the familiar face in front of him. Martin.

“By the Angel!” Another Circle member yelled in the faint distance before a pained groan interrupted him. It seemed another arrow had found its target.

“Martin. What a pleasure to see you again. I give you one chance, Martin, more than most Circle members get tonight. Pledge yourself to me and I let you live,” Jace offered darkly.

Jace’s blade was already covered in blood when he raised it towards him, but Martin reacted quickly and countered his blow.

“You’ll never succeed. Valentine is stronger than you.” Martin’s voice was arrogant, but Jace just smirked at him. 

“Is he, now?” Jace replied amused, while next to Martin another Circle member was taken out by an arrow. 

“How can he…” Martin got out, not believing his eyes. Martin’s mouth was slightly gaping when he watched Alec shoot a quick succession of arrows, hitting Circle members who were about to close in on them right in the heart, his aim true every time.

“Oh, yes. You don’t know, do you?” Jace asked with a dark smirk. He paused as he revealed, “Alec is my parabatai. And my lover.” 

Jace enjoyed the look of pure shock on Martin's face before he wielded his blade and cut him across the chest, killing him instantly. He had his chance and he didn’t take it. His loss, clearly.

When Alec had shot all his arrows except one, he mentally called to Jace who activated his runes telepathically. Alec sent his thanks back through the bond as he jumped in a smooth motion from the rooftop to join his parabatai in the fight, taking out a blade. 

His last arrow was reserved for someone special. They had made good progress, but Valentine was still fighting and so were some of his closest followers. But it was just a matter of time, Alec was sure of that. Now certain of their victory as the battle was winding down. The ones who hadn’t switched sides the instant the fight had broken loose, had mostly surrendered by now. Only the most inveterate believers were still fighting by Valentine’s side. 

Alec jogged quickly towards the center of the fight where Jace was, when suddenly something startled him. He stopped and drew in a breath. He had feared facing his parents during the battle, unsure if he could kill them or watch them be killed despite his certainty that they would remain loyal to Valentine. A slight pang of pain flooded him when he saw them lying lifeless on the ground, covered in blood, looking more entwined than they had ever been when alive. Robert lay half over his wife, maybe in a last attempt of being brave and protecting her. Maybe it was just a coincidence. He shook himself out of the sudden shock and moved on. He would mourn his parents later, but more the idea of parents he had longed to have, not the actual parents fate had granted him. But now it was time to fight. For Jace. For them.

Jace felt Alec approach, a tickling in his spine announcing his closeness. Jace cut down two Circle members and was now face to face with Valentine, their blades raised towards each other but still some distance apart.

“Parabatai,” Jace greeted, smiling while he turned slightly while still keeping Valentine in his sights, his proudness clearly audible in his voice.

“What?!” Valentine got out in disbelief, having overheard Jace's statement from afar, but approaching rapidly.

*Jace! Behind you!* Alec warned, his fear and panic for Jace's safety coming through loud and clear. 

Jace swung around in one fluid motion, cutting down the Circle member who had tried to attack him from behind.

“You! You dare to go against me?!" Valentine thundered as he stood face to face with Jace, their blades raised against each other, almost touching. 

“I have been going against you for years; you just haven’t noticed,” Jace said arrogantly as they attacked and parried each other’s blows, circling each other slowly.

“My men…” Valentine started to say, looking at all the dead Circle members on the ground.

“Alec took care of most of them. In fact, a lot of this rebellion is thanks to him,” Jace replied casually, pride at Alec's skills and intelligence clear in his words.

“Alec?!” Valentine repeated, dumbstruck, unable to believe it, skepticism clear in his voice. 

“And yes. You heard right. He’s my parabatai,” Jace said gleefully as they kept circling each other.

“What?” Valentine got out, completely taken back by this news.

“And lover,” Jace added with a proud smirk.

“You consummated the bond?” Valentine asked furiously, disgust and shock in his tone. Then he seemed to come up with a reason to do that as he asked, “To get more power?”

“No. To make him mine!” Jace corrected strongly, smirking when he managed to draw blood, cutting Valentine in the arm, wounding him. 

“Yours? Why would anyone want him?” Valentine said in a dismissive tone as he tried to regain ground with Jace, but the blond kept blocking him.

“I love him. But love is not something you understand, Valentine, do you? You always thought yourself so clever, but you never understood the most important things. You never even understood the meaning of the word strength, even though you spoke so much of it,” Jace taunted, his voice dark and strong, certain and sure.

Before Valentine could reply Alec’s voice reached them, making both Valentine and Jace turn slightly towards him.

“Valentine!” Alec yelled darkly, his voice strong and filled with the hatred he had for a father who had never been a father. 

He had put his blade back in his weapons belt and was within striking distance now with his bow, already having the bow up and ready, his last arrow nocked. He didn’t waste a second, he didn’t hesitate at all. He aimed at Valentine’s chest and let the arrow fly.

“Alexander,” Valentine got out in shock and pain as the arrow embedded itself in his chest, making it hard to breathe as blood started to run from the wound and pain washed through him.

Jace quickly disarmed him as he was distracted by the pain and shock of seeing the son he had so easily dismissed being the instrument of his demise. Jace buried his blade in Valentine’s chest, making him fall to his knees with a wounded gasp, blood running slowly out of his mouth.

Jace smiled proudly, darkly, as Alec walked up to stand beside him, looking down at Valentine.

“You look small from this angle,” Alec observed grimly as he locked eyes with Valentine, unflinching, unafraid. 

“I never saw this coming,” Valentine admitted with a pained, rattling breath, looking from Alec to Jace and back again, seeming equally shocked at Jace’s betrayal as he was of Alec’s power and strength.

Alec knelt next to him, and put his free hand around the arrow he had shot.

“Oh, but you should have,” Alec said darkly.

Then Alec pulled the arrow out, making blood flow more freely and Valentine yelled in pain. Valentine sank further in on himself as his life was running out. 

“I should. You are indeed my son,” Valentine got out, his voice hoarse and weak, finally acknowledging it for only his son could have killed him. 

“I was _never_ your son. I was _never_ your anything. And when I have killed you here and now, I will never think of you again,” Alec said strongly, his eyes flashing with power and strength.

“Alexander,” Valentine started to say weakly, to protest, paling even further at the picture Alec was drawing, more blood escaping his lips.

“I will destroy everything you have built. I will eliminate all traces of you,” Alec went on, his voice cold and cruel.

Valentine looked even more agonized at hearing that than knowing he was dying.

“Jonathan,” Valentine got out, clearly hoping for support from Jace, that he would say he would carry on his legacy.

“Don’t call me that. My name is Jace and I was never on your side. Ever!” Jace warned dangerously, his eyes flashing golden.

“Whose side are you on then?” Valentine got out, sounding truly puzzled, fighting to stay alive a few more moments to know, to understand.

Jace cast Alec a fond look before he replied strongly, “Alec’s. Always.”

Valentine looked from Jace to Alec, still not getting it. Blood was running out quicker now and his eyes flustered.

“Goodbye, Father.” Alec said callously as Valentine’s eyes closed and he breathed no more.

Valentine’s dead body tipped over as more blood ran out. For a moment Jace and Alec stood there, watching, slowing starting to realize it was over, they had won!

“You ok, Alec?” Jace asked worried, putting a hand to his arm, and guiding them a bit away, to a quiet corner of the courtyard.

Alec nodded, trying to shake himself out of it as he replied softly, “Yeah.”

“You did amazing. So well,” Jace praised warmly, caressing his cheek tenderly while he with the other hand took the arrow Alec was still holding in his hand and threw it far away.

“Thank you,” Alec got out, a bit shyly but beaming from the praise, slowly getting back to himself.

“Come here,” Jace said warmly, tenderly, his voice filled with emotions as he easily pulled Alec into a warm embrace.

Alec snuggled close, seeking Jace’s warmth. He closed his arms around Jace’s back, holding him close while hiding by his neck as much as he could, breathing in his scent, finding him in their bond. They stood like that for a while, drawing strength from each other, from knowing they had survived this, and they were together. 

“I love you,” Alec said warmly, affectionately as they drew a bit apart.

“I love you too,” Jace assured him, smiling softly.

“We did it,” Alec said in wonder, looking out over the place and the defeated enemies, the battle almost over now, no fighting left courtyard and the battle sounds from around Alicante were almost gone, the crickets filling the night air instead.

“Yes, we did. Alicante has fallen. Idris belongs to us now!” Jace said triumphantly.

“Ruler of Idris. It will suit you,” Alec said confidently, smiling warmly at him. 

“That's nice for sure but I can finally make you mine for all to see and that means more to me than anything else ever could," Jace said proudly, happily, possessively. 

Jace pulled him into a passionate kiss with a hand on the back of his neck. They were both breathless when Jace ended the kiss.

“I like the sound of that,” Alec admitted, smiling fondly at him.

“In fact…” Jace said slowly, his eyes glowing in expectation. 

Jace pulled a bit back from Alec and out of his embrace, making Alec look puzzled at him.

Jace maintained eye contact as he took Alec’s bow and put it on the ground. That done he took Alec's right hand in his and slowly sank down to one knee, making Alec gasp in awe and puzzlement. People had described this gesture to him, but he had never seen it done; he knew what it meant. He had dreamt of this. But surely Jace wouldn’t….did he….could he….Alec’s heart was racing, and he was smiling widely, almost shaking with anticipation. 

Jace put down his blade next to him on the ground so he could remove his necklace with the Herondale ring attached to it one handed, never letting go of Alec’s hand as he did so. Alec watched mesmerized as Jace removed the ring, still looking at Alec, the power of his gaze holding him captive.

“Alec, I want this to be a new start for us. I want everyone to know you are mine and that I place nothing and no one above you,” Jace began seriously, a quiver in his voice betraying the depth of his emotions.

“You are kneeling. You kneel for no one,” Alec got out in awe, moved beyond words by what Jace was doing, by what was about to happen, completely overwhelmed.

“For this moment, to make you mine, I kneel. You own half my soul but all of my heart,” Jace said affectionately but strongly, making Alec have to fight tears of joy. 

Jace looked up at him as he asked with a lump in his throat and a rare vulnerability in his eyes, “Alec, will you marry me?”

“Yes! So much yes!” Alec replied enthusiastically, nodding, laughing, and crying all at the same time. 

Jace smiled at his response and put the Herondale ring on Alec's finger. Before Alec had time to properly admire it Jace had stood back up and pulled Alec into a passionate and possessive kiss. They were so busy kissing, their arms holding each other as close as their lips were, that they didn’t even notice Magnus until he spoke right next to them.

“So… you two seem...busy,” Magnus commented with fond amusement, making Jace and Alec separate and turn and look at him.

“Magnus,” Jace greeted, keeping an arm around Alec’s waist.

Alec blushed and looked a bit hesitant, clearly afraid of scorn, but Magnus looked soft and kind, his eyes warm, making Alec feel comfortable expressing his love for Jace openly for the first time ever in front of him. 

“Don't worry about the rest of them. My people took care of it. The battle is over. We won,” Magnus said proudly, warmly, with an edge of teasing in his tone.

“Thank you, Magnus,” Alec said gratefully, offering him his hand.

Magnus shook it. When Jace offered his hand, Magnus shook it too.

“Yes, thank you,” Jace said with an appreciative nod. 

“Thank you, both of you, for making this happen,” Magnus said seriously, making the parabatai smile and nod at the words. 

“Oh, and congratulations by the way,” Magnus added as he nodded to Alec's ring. 

“Thank you,” Alec and Jace said at the same time, sharing a fond look as Jace pulled Alec closer to his side.

“Something tells me, you, Jace, aren't the hyphen type person,” Magnus commented to Jace with a teasing wink. 

“Alec has the Herondale ring. He's a Herondale,” Jace said strongly. He paused as he looked at Alec and added more softly, his eyes on Alec now, “I mean, if you want to.”

Alec smiled brilliantly and put a hand on his arm as he assured him, “I would love nothing more.”

Jace smiled back in joy and triumph, feeling like with those words, with Alec being fully his, he could indeed claim this day a victory.

“Alec! You're ok!” Izzy yelled as she ran across the courtyard, smiling relieved when she saw her brother.

She had promised to stay safe with Max but had rushed to find Alec as soon as she could. Alec was relieved to see that Izzy ran from the opposite side of the courtyard and thus didn’t see Maryse and Robert, not wanting her to see that. He would tell her later.

“Izzy! Thank the Angel you are alright,” Alec said with a fond smile.

As soon as Izzy reached them, she hugged first Alec and then Jace. 

“A ring?” Izzy squealed when she saw it, taking Alec’s hand in his to see it properly. “The Herondale ring!” She proclaimed, looking over at Jace. “I knew it!”

“You don’t mind?” Alec asked worried.

“Of course not,” Izzy quickly assured him. “I suspected it. You two were always so close.” She looked at them both as she added warmly, “Congratulations.”

Alec smiled relieved and happy at hearing that. Jace smiled as well before he kissed Alec softly on the lips. When the kiss ended, they both turned to look at her again.

“Thank you,” Alec said joyfully.

“Thank you, Izzy,” Jace said, nodding his thanks.

“And who might this beautiful creature be?” Magnus asked charmingly, intrigued.

Izzy blushed at bit, smiling warmly at him, her eyes showing interest.

“I'm Izzy. Isabelle. Alec's sister,” Izzy said, offering him her hand.

“Magnus Bane. Enchanted to meet you, Isabelle,” Magnus said as he took her hand to his lips, kissing it.

Magnus and Izzy shared a look and Magnus knew he would be asking to work closely with her when they were to rebuild the new Shadow World. She fascinated him and he needed to know more about her. From the way Izzy was looking at Magnus she wanted that too.

Alec and Jace barely noticed the exchange, lost in each other as they kissed again, a kiss filled with the promise of forever, of a love that would never die. 

_End of part 8_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or kudos if you are enjoying the story. It would mean a lot to us. 💙💙


	9. Whoever Rules The Heart...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace becomes the leader of Idris with Alec by his side and they start to implement the changes they promised Magnus and the Downworld. Magnus and Izzy work together to ensure stability and equality in the Shadow World, falling in love in the process.  
> Alec babysits a Warlock girl and starts to consider adding a new member to the family.  
> Finally, Jace and Alec get married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to Monochromatize and Cindy for great beta work as always.  
> Thank you to Ma.Regina Danica Villa Bibit for the great artwork in this chapter.  
> Chapter warnings: Mentions Jace's and Alec's parents dying off page. Mentions past war crimes done by the Circle and Valentine.

_Please read chapter notes for chapter warnings_

# Chapter 9: Whoever Rules The Heart...

To ensure stability Alec had suggested to quickly announce the new ruler of Idris. They had taken out the key opposition in Idris, but they were not so naive to think they didn't have enemies silently waiting. They also needed to send a clear signal of change to the Downworld while showing strength and unity towards their own people. And they had a lot of people to reward for their support; people they knew they could trust. People who would be instrumental in the new government.

A few days after the successful uprising Jace had called everyone for a meeting in the main government building in Alicante. The days in between had gone by with burying the dead, tending to the wounded, and trying to create an overview of the current situation in general. Both Jace and Alec had had to bury their parents. Andrew Underhill, one of their supporters, had found Céline and Stephen Herondale among the dead and brought their corpses to Jace and Alec. They had died like they had lived: for Valentine and his cause. Just like Maryse and Robert, they had not changed sides – as Jace and Alec had predicted. The pair of parabatai had watched the four of them burn, taking a short moment to mourn them. But not for too long. Ties had been cut way earlier and both were too busy to build their new world to cling to the old.

All Jace’s and Alec’s supporters, among them Magnus and the other Downworld leaders, were gathered in the large hall. All attendees had been carefully screened to avoid any incidents with leftover Circle members.

Jace was seated on a large throne; a chair with the Nephilim symbol on top, previously used by the Inquisitor and head of the Clave for official events. Alec stood next to the throne, by Jace’s right side. He had one hand on the chair, carefully looking out over the gathered crowd. His ring hand on the throne showed off the Herondale ring, displaying his connection to Jace better than any words ever could.

The Silent Brothers had been quick to change their minds on same sex relationships and parabatai lovers when they had understood their continued survival and support from the new ruler of Idris depended on them finding proof that Heaven and the Angels were in fact very much in support of both. Funnily enough; turned out the Holy Texts could be read almost any way you wanted and the Brothers had quickly found several passages that supported both. As a result, the Brothers had also quickly offered to oversee the wedding between Jace and Alec, knowing that doing so would cement their power in the new Idris that was being built.

Jace and Alec knew the power game the Brothers were playing but it was convenient for them at the moment to have the Brothers on their side; so they agreed they could perform their wedding ceremony. After hiding his claim to his lover for so many years Jace was eager to show his love to the world so the wedding was planned to take place a few months after his ascension as the new ruler of Idris - a proof of his power and his love. Alec would have been more than happy to have a small wedding, but was overwhelmed and moved to know Jace wanted to show their love to the whole world in the most prominent way possible. He loved that Jace was so proud of him that he wanted everyone to witness their union.

Jace’s ascension ceremony was not only a proof of his power but also a way for Jace to show whom he trusted and who was important in the new system. Hence Alec was standing by his side - quite literally. Izzy had gotten a very important role of her own.

“Long live our new leader; Jace Herondale!” Izzy proclaimed triumphantly, giving Alec a wink as she said it, standing between the throne and the crowd, her voice loud and clear for all the gathered people to hear.

The large hall broke out in loud cheers and applause at the announcement.

* _You look good on a throne_ ,* Alec said telepathically, love and a hint of fond teasing in his voice while keeping his eyes on the crowd, smiling politely as expected, Jace doing likewise.

* _You look good by my side. I look forward to fucking you in here late tonight when everyone has left_ ,* Jace sent back, his voice holding both lust and power but his face and eyes stayed on the crowd, not letting anyone else know what he was saying telepathically to his soon to be husband.

* _Jace_ ,* Alec complained as his pants started to feel a bit tight and heat colored his cheeks, indicating just how turned on he was at the prospect of fulfilling that fantasy.

* _Getting distracted?_ * Jace asked in a voice filled with mischief, his mental laughter ringing loud in Alec's head.

* _Very_ ,* Alec admitted, fighting to appear nonchalant but having a hard time meeting anyone’s eyes even though the whole crowd was looking at them. There was no point denying the effect Jace had on him; he knew it in the bond anyway.

* _Then you have something to look forward to_ ,* Jace said in his mind and winked at him, a naughty gleam in his eyes.

* _I always do with you_ ,* Alec thought back, his thoughts filled with fond affection.

Unaware of their silent conversation Andrew Underhill went to the podium as Izzy stepped down, a pen and paper in his hands, ready to start his job now that Jace had been announced their new leader officially.

Izzy joined Magnus who stood in the very first row by the podium with Madzie and his people, smiling warmly at him. Izzy and Magnus had worked closely together in the last few days and neither Jace or Alec had been surprised when Izzy had quickly offered to continue that collaboration moving forward.

“What are your orders, Consul Herondale?” Andrew Underhill asked respectfully, giving Jace a humble nod before showing Alec the same respect.

Jace had appointed Andrew his personal assistant the day after the successful revolt and he was doing a great job already. He had quickly gathered lists of the dead and wounded, as well as given and overview of property damage and needed supplies of any kind.

“I am making Alec my second in all things and co-chairman of the Shadow World cabinet I am creating together with the Downworld leader Magnus Bane,” Jace announced, nodding respectfully to Magnus who nodded back. He paused before adding, “All Shadow World citizens hereby have the same rights. Each faction should nominate a representative to take part in the cabinet.”

His orders made the whole crowd applaud loudly. Andrew took notes, nodding along with the orders.

“What else, Consul?” Andrew prompted when the crowd quieted down a bit.

* _What else?_ * Jace sent to Alec through their bond, wanting to be sure he remembered it all, his eyes never leaving Andrew; his face and posture never changed; in no way giving any hints to this silent conversation.

It was important to show strength and competence. Especially in the beginning of this new era where all eyes were on him.

* _The prisoners and experiments. The parabatai issue_ ,* Alec reminded him dutifully.

“All Downworlders held here in Idris or at Institutions around the world will be released at once into the Mundane world, to their families or packs. Reparations will be paid. We will make sure that everyone gets the help they need to be able to resume a normal life. Warlock healers have already agreed to provide medication but also mental support. Catarina Loss will be leading this task force, she already agreed to it. She will appoint further members and has my full support. Do you have this?” Jace asked Underhill, who scribbled down everything devotedly.

This brought another round of applause, the loudest of those from the Downworlders, as some of their Nephilim supporters were a bit miffed about the reparations part. But Jace and Alec were firm about it so they had given in.

“Yes, sir,” Andrew replied when he had written it all down.

“It's legal from now on for parabatai to be lovers. The old law was just a means to oppress and therefore it is now outdated. The same regarding same sex unions. The Silent Brothers have reviewed the Holy Texts and conclude that Heaven and the Angels support such unions. We will later review further laws together with the Downworld cabinet, but as this one only effects Shadowhunters it is to be outdated at once. Oh, and discrimination of any kind is forbidden; no matter if it is based on gender, blood, race, sexuality, family name or anything else. We will put this into a new form of constitution for the Shadow World,” Jace went on, pausing to take a deep breath, his eyes searching Alec’s who smiled encouraging and proudly at him.

Jace’s words brought loud cheers from everyone in the hall, giving Alec a chance to have a silent conversation with his lover without anyone getting suspicious.

* _The torture and killings and blood experiments_ ,* Alec reminded him with a smile, mentally going over all the points they had discussed preliminarily and ticking them off.

There would be more meetings with more details and new points, but it was important to have a strong first signal to all allies - and also to all remaining enemies.

“All experiments on any living creature is outlawed. Torture of any kind is outlawed. And beings from other races must be tried and convicted in a jury that consists equally of demon and angel blooded to be sentenced. Furthermore, all trials in the Shadow World require a jury of peers,” Jace emphasized, knowing that too much power in the hands of a single person always led to abuse.

More cheering erupted in the hall as Nephilim and Downworlders alike started to chant Jace’s name.

* _You're amazing,_ * Alec sent him through the bond, not able to hide his admiration.

* _So are you_ ,* Jace sent back with equal fondness and pride.

“That’s it for now. Dismissed,” Jace ordered, waving dismissively at Andrew while smiling softly.

Andrew nodded at Jace and then Alec in response to the order. He then went on to send off fire messages to all Institutes and to the Downworld to announce the changes Jace had just made. On his way to do so a Warlock, Lorenzo Rey, introduced himself to Andrew, telling him Magnus Bane had asked Lorenzo to help him. Andrew smiled his thanks and they started to carry out the orders together, making it clear to the Nephilim and Downworlders who were to receive the fire messages that Shadowhunters and Downworlders stood united in this.

During the next days the newly formed cabinet was going to meet to start working on a new constitution, but the first announcements were important to have at once; to assure the Downworld and their allies that they had fought for the right cause.

Izzy and Magnus led the crowd out in the courtyard and people started to scatter. However, Magnus asked Izzy for a drink to talk further which she happily agreed to and they walked away together after waving their goodbuys to Jace and Alec.

Soon the hall was empty save for Jace and Alec. They looked at each other, smiling softly and Jace caught hold of Alec’s nearest hand, squeezing it affectionately, both feeling exhausted and absorbed in their own thoughts.

Jace was determined to not let the power get to him. But he was fairly sure that with Alec by his side he wouldn't be tempted. Alec always grounded him. Before Jace could pull him closer by the grip on his hand, Alec was already there, settling down on his lap, like always sensing that Jace needed him. They shared a deep kiss, enjoying the knowledge that they didn’t need to hide any longer, that it was okay if suddenly Underhill or anyone else for that matter came back into the hall and saw them kiss.

“Was I okay?” Jace asked when they both needed to catch air.

“More than okay. I meant what I thought. You’re amazing,” Alec assured him affectionately.

Alec smiled while snuggling up closer to Jace, enjoying the hand that Jace had entangled in his hair.

“No one expects you to be perfect Jace. They just expect you to be true to your promises. And we will do that. The first steps that you have announced today are strong, the details will follow later. We have to figure them out together with the Downworld and other Shadowhunters. But we will figure them out, I am sure of that,” Alec assured him, his tone firm and strong.

Alec pressed a kiss to the corner of Jace’s mouth, letting himself fall completely into Jace, mentally and physically.

“It’s draining.” Jace confessed, pouting a bit, making Alec smile at his complaining tone. “Why is fighting so much easier than talking?”

Alec chuckled lightly, nodding in agreement. He knew what Jace meant. Finding the right words to build something new was way harder than finding the right move to destroy something.

“Do you know what is even easier than fighting?” Alec asked with an eyebrow raised suggestively, now making Jace chuckle in return.

“I have a fairly good idea,” Jace gave back, increasing his hold on Alec’s hair so that he was forced to tilt his head, before Jace claimed Alec’s mouth possessively.

He felt something settle inside him at the other’s display of eagerness and submission. He had been on edge, the feeling of not being completely in control unravelling him. Alec giving him now the control back made him instantly feel more at ease.

Jace groaned when he felt himself getting hard. Briefly he considered fulfilling their fantasy of fucking Alec right here and now, but then decided against it. He wanted to take Alec apart and then snuggle up to him, care for him in the coziness of their bed.

Jace pushed gently at Alec to make him move. Alec quickly jumped down and looked questioningly at him.

Jace took a firm grip on Alec’s right wrist as he rose and started to pull him along as he ordered in a voice filled with lust and desire, “Let’s get out of here. I need you. I need you now, Alec.”

Alec moaned at the words, Jace’s desire washing over him through his words and amplified by their bond. He was quick to comply and followed Jace eagerly to their room. **Their** room from now on, a fact Alec loved and had frequently said out loud in a proud tone to anyone who wanted to listen. There was no need to hide any longer.

Alec grinned when he felt Jace all over him as soon as the door closed. His body reacted at once and before Jace even pushed him on the bed, a wicked gleam in his eyes, all tiredness forgotten, Alec was already lost in his lover, in his desire and love, lost in the way his hands were moving over his body and the kisses and touches he was bestowing all over him.

***

Jace let his hand roam over Alec’s sweaty body, their bond humming contently between them. Alec lay pliant beneath him, spent and satisfied, enjoying Jace’s touch. Jace was still buried in Alec, relishing the feeling of being connected in the most intimate way. With a sigh he pulled out a little later, getting up to get a warm washcloth and some juice. He was not hungry and could feel neither was Alec, but some fruit sugar would help their drained bodies.

When he came back he had washed himself off. He was holding a washcloth and a box with juice. Alec had popped himself up on his elbows, watching him through his thick lashes, a lazy smile on his lips.

“Thank you,” Alec whispered when Jace gave him the orange juice he had chosen, gladly taking some sips.

Alec was not really thirsty, but the tender gesture, the love he felt shining through it, made him drink anyway. He loved to see Jace’s face lighting up with satisfaction.

He sighed contently when Jace settled down next to him again, drawing the warm cloth he had gotten over his body, washing away the traces of sweat and cum. The slightly rough fabric together with the warmth felt like heaven on his skin, and when Jace added some fingernails to trail over his runes, he couldn’t help but moan. Jace put the cloth in the bathroom before he returned to bed. He kissed Alec’s nape tenderly while he snuggled up behind him, spooning Alec from behind, a thin blanket covering them both.

“The first steps are done,” Jace whispered against Alec’s nape between kisses.

Alec hummed in agreement, not needing a clarification what steps Jace meant.

“There will be a lot more to follow. But you can do it, Jace. We can do it. Tomorrow when the meeting with the Downworld is taking place we will have to discuss our next moves with them,” Alec said in a strong and certain voice.

Alec was convinced that they did the right thing and that for once, the right thing would win.

“The meeting with the Downworld tomorrow is to establish the cabinet and appoint participants. I also want to discuss with them the idea of the Shadowhunter council we have spoken about, Alec. That we will establish a Council where every Shadowhunter above 18 is allowed to vote and that they have the right to intervene if the Consul oversteps. As tempting as it is to have absolute power, I don’t want to risk that. The Downworld can decide if they want something similar or if they are satisfied with the Cabinet,” Jace reminded him and Alec nodded.

Alec beamed proudly at Jace for being such a good leader. Jace could have claimed absolute power and Alec would have supported him, convinced he wouldn’t abuse it but for Jace to put measures in place to prevent abuse just proved loud and clear to their allies how right they had been to support him.

Jace sighed a little, he was not looking forward to all the talking. He knew that not everything would be running smoothly at the first try, but he was determined to make it work. He was prepared for some back and forth - the only thing he would not let happen was to take any rights away again after he had already granted equality.

“It’s a dawn of a new era. A better one. An era unlike any the Shadow World has ever seen. And you made that happen, Jace,” Alec rwhispered, love and pride shining in his eyes.

Alec interlaced their hands and drew them to his lips, giving each of Jace’s knuckles a tender kiss.

Jace smiled at the tender and romantic gesture.

“We made that happen, Alec. I’d be nothing without you,” Jace reminded Alec, meaning it, kissing his earlobe in response.

“Fine. We made it happen,” Alec consented, laughing lightly, not wanting to get in an unnecessary argument about that. Besides, deep down he knew it was true. _They_ had made it happen. Without the other, neither of them would have been successful.

Alec frowned as he said to Jace, “We have to prepare for the trials for the captured Circle members. They should be held quickly. And we need to find other interrogation methods than the agony rune and the likes. You promised no torture, Jace. We have to stick to that.”

Jace sighed in response. He had promised that. And Alec was right, they needed to start right away, though he would have loved to put the agony rune on some Circle members… He swallowed hard when he felt a wave of rage crushing over him at the thought of what the Circle had done, to Alec in particular.

Alec turned in Jace’s arms to face him, pressing a calming and tender kiss to his temples, sensing his rage in their bond and knowing why.

“You know it is the right thing to do, Jace. I know you can control yourself. We are better than them,” Alec told him seriously.

Jace sighed again, but nodded. They _were_ better.

“I will. And if not I still have you to reign me in. I’m just glad that Valentine is dead, that you killed him. I think with him I couldn’t hold back,” Jace admitted darkly.

A thoughtful look appeared on Alec’s face when the memory of killing Valentine, of piercing his heart with one of his arrows washed over him. He didn’t regret it in the slightest. He agreed fully with Jace, he was glad Valentine was dead. His parents were a little different. He had watched them burn alongside Céline and Stephen, and at that moment it had been okay. But he was sure he would need more time to fully process it. Though he had found closure regarding his relationship with them even before the battle, it had been odd to see them dead. It would take time and further reflection and thoughts to truly comprehend that they were dead, but right now he didn’t want to think about them, to give them that power. He had given them power for far too long in his life. Now there was just room for Jace and their plans, everything else had to wait.

Alec snuggled close to Jace’s chest, smiling when Jace held him tight, his arms around him.

“I was thinking,” Alec said slowly, thoughtfully, after he had rested his head on Jace’s chest for a few moments, reflecting, “It’s better that when you talk to the Downworlders tomorrow you do so alone, without me. If we show up as two this might be considered as a way of putting Shadowhunters first again. And I think it is important that they see how competent you are.” Alec felt Jace’s reluctance and added, “If you need me, you can always reach me through the bond and I find a reason to show up.”

Jace frowned at the suggestion, but he had to admit that Alec had a point. He groaned frustrated before he nodded.

“All right. You are right, as always. But for the greetings you’ll show your pretty face and make small talk. I am not suffering through _that_ alone,” Jace told Alec pointedly, emphasizing his words by tugging lightly on Alec’s hair.

Alec huffed, but laughed as he said, “Damn, I hoped I could skip that too. But sure, I’ll show up for the socializing and will leave the negotiations to you.”

Alec pressed a little closer to Jace who embraced him even tighter. Soon their breaths deepened and their eyes fluttered shut, falling into a deep sleep only peace could offer.

***

They were all gathered in front of the Great Hall, Jace and Alec welcoming the Downworld delegation. It was a big day, all were still high on their victory over Valentine. But all parties involved also knew about the importance of this meeting and the following actions. A victory was nothing if nothing followed after it.

“Alexander,” Magnus smiled at him as it was his turn to be greeted, “It is good to see you again.”

Alec took the outstretched hand and shook it.

“Indeed it is,” Alec agreed, smiling genuinely back after having smiled politely for a while now when he had been greeting all the members of the delegations.

The beginning of their relationship had been overshadowed with mistrust and caution, but they had made it work and had taken a liking to each other.

“And even better to see you, Madzie,” Alec said warmly.

Alec smiled at her while kneeling down in front of the little girl, who had hid behind Magnus until now. She smiled shyly at Alec. In one hand she held a teddy bear, the other was wrapped protectively around the small shoulders of a little girl who seemed around 3. Whereas Madzie’s Warlock mark, gills, could be hidden with a shawl, the girl’s Warlock marks were more difficult to hide. She was a cute little girl with lilac hair and pointy ears, that looked almost fae like. Her Warlock marks meant she would have a hard time passing as mundane without a glamour, but they made her look beautiful in an almost otherworldly way.

“And you brought a friend. That’s amazing. Do you wanna tell me your name? I’m Alec,” Alec said to the small girl, his words soft and kind.

Alec smiled at the girl, but she didn’t look up, she seemed to melt even closer to Madzie.

Magnus had settled down next to Alec, but the little girl also didn’t look at him. Magnus sighed silently, but a fond and loving smile played around his lips.

“I had to bring Madzie, she was very eager to see you again, Alec. She was a bit sad the official part yesterday meant none of us really got to say hi. So I promised to bring her today,” Magnus explained. He then looked at the little girl hiding behind Madzie.

“And please meet Mara. She’s still a little shy,” Magnus announced loudly, before he added in a low voice so that only Alec could hear it, “Her mother was killed and she lived in a mundane orphanage until her Warlock marks started to become prominent. We just found her in time before any real harm could be done to her. But nevertheless, she went through a lot. She really is very shy and so far has only spoken to Madzie a little. I hope it is not too much trouble that I brought them, but I couldn’t leave them alone, their usual babysitter didn’t have time.”

Alec just shook his head, his eyes filled with understanding and sympathy at hearing Mara’s tale.

“I am not participating in the negotiations anyway. I will gladly show Madzie and Mara around in Alicante. And I know the perfect place to start,” Alec offered as he grinned at the two kids and Madzie grinned back from one ear to the other, taking Alec’s offered hand without hesitation.

* _If you need me, I’m here, Jace. Just call me through the bond. But you’ve got this,_ * Alec told Jace through their bond, just as the delegation and Jace retreated into the conference room.

* _Thank you_ ,* Jace sent back, gaining strength from Alec’s trust in him.

Magnus said his farewell to Madzie and Mara and went as the last one into the conference room. Alec stepped out into the sun with Madzie in one hand. Mara was still too shy to take his offered hand, instead holding on to Madzie. But Alec didn’t mind. He would give the little girl all the time she needed to warm up to him.

“Who of you likes ice cream?” Alec asked cheerfully while guiding them through the narrow streets of the Silver City, pointing here and there to interesting things or beautiful plants as they passed them by.

“I do!” Madzie beamed at once, nodding eagerly. She nodded to Mara who hadn’t replied but just looked around with awe and wonder in her expression as she added, “And she does too!”

“What’s your favorite kind then?” Alec asked, guiding them towards his favorite ice cream parlor.

Madzie paused thoughtfully, giving the question very serious thought before she replied, “I like hazelnut and chocolate the most, but I also love stracciatella.”

“Let’s see what they have, but I bet they at least have chocolate. Because everyone loves chocolate,” Alec said with a fond smile.

Alec had to measure his steps greatly, especially since Mara was still small. She hadn’t looked at Alec so far or said something, but she didn’t clutch Madzie’s hand as tightly as before. Alec considered that a good sign.

When they reached the ice cream parlor Alec led the girls up to the counter so they could see all the different flavors. They had chocolate, stracciatella and hazelnut and Alec bought all three for Madzie. After conspiring with Madzie about what Mara liked, he bought vanilla, banana and also chocolate for her. Briefly he had considered buying her only two, given her young age, but to treat her differently than her friend didn’t feel right.

Alec bought himself chocolate and strawberyy and they all sat down at a table in the sun by the parlor. Mara’s eyes were huge when she sat in front of her three scoops and the first tentative smile washed over her face, a smile that lit up her features instantly. Madzie did most of the talking while they ate their ice cream but it felt nice, sitting here with the kids in the sunshine.

After they had all finished up, Alec started to think hard what to do with them. Alicante was not really a place for kids - the whole Shadow World was not really a place for kids. But he remembered that he had loved to spend time at the stables with horses when he was little, so he decided to give it a try. He took them to one of the stables that was connected to the Great Hall and belonged to the Consul and thus now belonged to Jace. First only Madzie was exhilarated, but soon also Mara warmed up to the graceful creatures. She even allowed Alec to help her into the saddle of a small Shetland Pony, even allowed him to hold her, while Madzie took the pony’s reins and led them in a circle around the paddock. It was amazing to see Mara’s movements adjusting to the ones of the pony, her once rigid body getting softer. The first tentative smile got wider and bolder and soon she was grinning as widely as Madzie. She still didn’t talk, but Alec didn’t mind. Having made her smile like that was all that mattered.

The day went by faster than Alec had thought and little by little Mara warmed up to him even further. After the riding they had played games in a close by park and she had shyly held his other hand so he had now a child in each hand. The rumbling of his stomach reminded Alec that he was hungry. He chose a nice, but non fancy restaurant for dinner. Mara was more than happy to sit next to him. They ordered food and soon they were all busy eating, the silence that came with eating not feeling akward or strange, but natural and peaceful.

Alec had checked in with Jace several times through their bond during the day, but though Jace seemed exhausted, everything went smoothly, even smoother than they had expected.

When Alec returned to the Great Hall most of the delegation participants had already left and so had Jace’s people, including Andrew who had parted last, given he was Jace’s personal assistant. Alec was carrying a sleeping Mara in his arms and a tired Madzie was holding his hand. Alec saw that Jace and Magnus were just shaking hands and agreeing to continue their fruitful meeting the next day. Izzy was waiting nearby, clearly hoping Magnus might stay in Alicante and wanted some advice on dinner places. Advice and company.

“She fell asleep on you,” Magnus said, a thoughtful smile playing around his lips when Alec came over with the kids.

“Yeah, uh sorry. Probably I should have let her nap in the afternoon. But once she had warmed up to the horses, she couldn’t get enough of them. I took them to the stables and Madzie had her first successful riding lesson and then we played in the park before we had food,” Alec explained, dutifully mentioning everything he had done with them.

Madzie beamed at the praise, but yawned at the same time.

“No worries, it seems everyone had a good time. Thank you, Alexander, for taking care of them. And it’s a near miracle that she lets you carry her. She normally doesn’t like to be touched by strangers,” Magnus told him, giving Mara a fond look.

Now it was Alec’s turn to beam.

“Tomorrow I will leave them with a babysitter,” Magnus announced before carefully taking Mara from Alec’s arms to not wake her.

“Oh, you can bring them along. We already made plans, Madzie and I,” Alec offered at once as he winked conspiratorially at Madzie, who nodded fervently at Magnus.

“Please, papa!” Madzie said, looking with pleading eyes at him.

Magnus just laughed and nodded his agreement.

“Do you want me to show you a nice place for dinner here in Alicante? If you are staying here till tomorrow? I could use some food and also some company,” Izzy asked with a fond smile directed at Magnus.

Magnus smiled as he said, “I will have to put the children to bed but if you wish you could come over for dinner at my hotel room. I have a suite with a large balcony here in Alicante and I can conjure up any meal you like.”

“That sounds fabulous, Magnus,” Izzy agreed at once with an even more radiant smile than before, making Jace and Alec have to stiffle a laugh.

Izzy waved at them – giving them a stern look which made both of them want to laugh even more - as she left with Magnus and the children.

The next days Jace spent plotting the future of the Shadow World with the Downworld, talking every point through with Alec in the evenings, while Alec spent his days with Madzie and Mara, enjoying their company - especially enjoying the fact that Mara opened up more and more to him. What the other adults around her hadn’t managed, Alec did. Mara started to speak to him, after a while even in full sentences, though Alec suspected it also had a great deal to do with giving her a daily supply of three scoops of ice cream and a certain Shetland Pony they visited every day as well.

***

The first few months had passed quickly. There had been a lot to do and a lot of good energy had waved between all participants. Magnus had spent a lot of time in Alicante and as a result he had spent a lot of time with Izzy. It had therefore not really surprised Alec and Jace when Izzy had told them a few weeks ago she and Magnus had started dating. They were both happy for her, Izzy deserved all the good things.

Whenever Magnus came by he would bring Madzie and Mara and Alec had grown fond of both children. Mara in particular had grown on him and he had started to realize, well more like admit as he had always known it, that he really wanted kids, a family.

He had his two siblings of course, but he had to admit that Izzy was no longer a little girl who needed protection. She was a grown woman now, starting to spread her wings and fly – and Alec knew she would make her way. He hoped that Magnus would be part of that way, he really had a good feeling about the two of them.

And even his little brother Max was growing up. He had been most troubled by the deaths of their parents of any of them, he still was sometimes. But he had agreed to see Catarina on a regular basis who helped him through his mourning process. What helped Max a lot was being around his friends at the Academy. Alec and Jace had offered that he could live with them permanently and get a private tutor for his education, but after a bit back and forth Max had confessed that he preferred to stay at the Academy during the year and just live with Alec and Jace during the holidays. A lot of his friends also had to deal with the loss of a parent or a sibling after the revolt against Valentine and thus they could support each other. And the well-known rhythm of the Academy stabilized Max, so Alec had stopped worrying about him. He had not stopped caring, never would, but he was sure Max – as Izzy – was about to find his own path in the Shadow World.

***

Alec and Jace were snuggled up in bed together, curled up into each other in their favorite position, Alec in Jace’s embrace. Alec had just finished explaining happily and enthusiastically how he had spent the day with Madzie and Mara, going into detail of how much Mara had opened up to him and how sad they both were when they had to part in the evening.

“You like her,” Jace stated matter of fact when Alec finally paused for breath after his long and engaging talk on the little Warlock girl.

Alec blushed a little, knowing at once this would be more than a casual talk about whether or not he liked Mara.

“Hmm,” Alec admitted a bit shyly, his answer murmured into Jace’s nape.

“You’re the first adult she has ever talked to. You two share a special bond,” Jace continued when Alec stayed silent, reminding him of the facts Alec had told him quite often lately when it came to Mara. He smiled fondly at Alec as he added, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Alec bit his lower lip. Of course Jace had picked up on his developing feelings for Mara. In the past months he had bonded with the little Warlock more and more. The thought of adopting her had formed in his head and he couldn’t forget it after he had first thought of it. He knew Magnus was happy to take her in next to Madzie, but the girl had never warmed up to Magnus as she had to Alec. And Alec would make sure that Mara and Madzie would stay close, not wanting their bond to weaken. Of course, if Izzy ended up moving in with Magnus as he knew she wanted that shouldn’t be a problem as he saw Izzy several times a week. But he was not sure what Jace thought about it. They were just now able to live their relationship out in the open and their wedding was coming up in just a few weeks. Adopting a child was a huge step. It would change what they had.

Jace nudged Alec lightly, expecting an answer.

Alec blushed a little but answered truthfully as always with Jace as he admitted, “You know I like her. More than that actually. And well, I thought..., I mean if she wants and if you want… if we can take her in?”

“Adopting a child is a huge responsibility, Alec. Do you think we are ready?” Jace asked seriously.

“Yes. We are,” Alec said strongly, firmly.

Alec had no doubts at all. They had enough love to give to add a child to that.

Jace smiled at the clear response.

“You know she wooed me too. She is amazing. But we have to make sure that she wants to live with us too,” Jace reminded him though knowing how much Mara loved Alec he was sure that wouldn’t be a problem.

And just like that, it was decided - at least on their part. The next day they talked to Magnus about the idea, thankfully he was very supportive. Then they talked to Madzie and most importantly to Mara. To no one’s surprise Madzie supported the idea and Mara was overjoyed to be staying with Alec forever now as well as Jace whom she had also started to warm up to.

At their wedding Mara was the flower girl while Izzy was Alec’s second and Magnus chose to stand as second for Jace, further cementing the relationship and union between the Downworld and Idris. Jace broke with the tradition of choosing only one best man and asked Max as well as Magnus. Max was overjoyed to be accepted by his soon to be brother-in-law like that and eagerly agreed.

The wedding was a grand affair and everyone of importance in the Shadow World attended. Jace reconfirmed the vow he had given Alec when he had proposed, to place Alec above anyone and anything else and regifted him the Herondale ring. Alec in turn promised his love and loyalty forever and always. They were presented by the Silent Brother who wedded them as Jace and Alexander Herondale and the crowd all applauded loudly. The wedding reception was held at the Seelie Court to deepen the political alliance with the Fae whereas the wedding dinner was held in Alicante.

A few weeks after their own wedding Mara’s adoption was official. Alec and Jace went from being husbands to being fathers to a Warlock girl of three years old – proud fathers of a more than happy girl.

Years later when Magnus and Izzy married Jace would return the favor, standing as second to Izzy while Alec and Max both followed her up the aisle and Magnus’ friends Cat and Ragnor both stood as his seconds. This time, Madzie was the proud flower girl. Not one to do anything by half, Izzy’s and Magnus’ wedding was a grand affair and the party lasted for several days.

Alec smiled fondly when he observed his little – who was not so little anymore – girl play with Madzie at Magnus and Izzy's wedding. The two had become quite close and both were delighted to now be officially related by Izzy’s and Magnus’ union. Alec’s heart overflowed with love when he watched his husband with their daughter on the dancefloor. Jace was swirling her gracefully around so that her long, lilac hair flew in the wind. The moment was tender and pretty and almost brought tears of joy to Alec's eyes.

Izzy and Magnus had also always wanted children so they could all quickly and easily agree on the joys of having a big family. Each new member was greeted with open arms and loving smiles into their by now ever growing group, as the wedding between Magnus and Izzy also clearly showed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are enjoying the story please leave a kudos and a comment (or just a kudos). It would mean a lot to us. Thank you :)


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years later Jace and Alec share a family moment with their adopted daughter as they remember how they came to this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to our amazing beta readers Cindy and Monochromatize as always.  
> Chapter warnings: None really. Fluff maybe 😂

Please read the chapter notes for detailed warnings

# Chapter 10: Epilogue 

It was now five years since the revolt against Valentine. Five years since Jace had taken over as ruler of Idris. Five years since they had started the road towards equality and unity in the Shadow World.

Laws had been easy to change; hearts and minds had taken longer. However, with Magnus on the Downworlder side and Jace and Alec in Idris, then things were gradually changing. Magnus and Izzy falling in love and Izzy moving in to Magnus’ loft in New York a few months after they had met had helped as well, showing, proving, that unions between Nephilim and Downworlders were possible. 

On a personal level Jace and Alec had finally found the freedom they had longed for. Together. Some Nephilim still distrusted parabatai lovers even after five years – prejudice ran deep in some minds. However, none dared to say it out loud any longer. The tides had changed and voicing such bigotry had become poor taste. The majority had adjusted to the new rules, even to the new morality. The Downworld had never had problems with same-sex relationships and the whole parabatai thing had always only been an internal Nephilim issue. Showing the way for others had made other same-sex and interracial couples dare to come forward. Andrew had started a relationship with the Warlock Lorenzo Rey and Helen had started dating Aline, the daughter of a former high-ranking Clave official. 

Getting married hadn’t changed things so much for Alec and Jace, but it had cemented their union to the Shadow World and to each other. Jace was proud to finally make his love clear to all and Alec had never felt more secure in Jace’s love for him than he did now, after the wedding that officially made him Alec Herondale. He wore the Herondale ring openly and proudly, glad to have found a name he could identify with. A home he belonged to.

Things had changed again and even more profoundly when they had officially adopted Mara not long after. They lived in a grand mansion in which all rulers of Idris had lived in, but for the first time in forever the mansion had become a home. The harshness of the mansion had disappeared, it now stood warm and inviting with a welcoming fire burning in the fire place, toys scattered all over the place and just little things Jace and Alec had added to be able to relax once they were just the three of them. Mara had also become a Herondale – but both Jace and Alec were aware that most Warlocks chose their own names over time and they were both fine with it. They made sure to let Mara know that no matter what her choice might be in the future, she would always be their little girl. 

Jace and Alec often had Magnus, Izzy, Madzie and Max visiting. Magnus had become a great friend to Jace and Alec. In the beginning their talks had mainly evolved around politics and new developments in the Shadow World, but soon they had realized that what they shared went beyond politics. Jace and Magnus shared the love for classical music and Alec and Magnus just got along without needing to put much effort in it. Soon their talks shifted from politics to private things, sharing parenting tips as well as other insights and stories.

Alec was happy to see his sister and Max under such carefree and casual circumstances. The three of them had always been close, but their relationship had often been overshadowed by the different treatment their parents had given them. Alec had been more than proud when Max had graduated the Academy as second best in class and had decided to join the Scholomance. Of course he would have had a place in Idris, but he wanted to make his own way without his name and his family ties helping him along. And Alec was more than sure that Max would make his way. 

Mara and Madzie enjoyed spending time together and playing. Their three fathers had made sure that they had enough opportunities to keep their tight bond and the friendship between the girls had grown even closer, despite their age difference. Madzie was like a protective older sister and would be furious if she thought someone wronged Mara – a little like Alec had been in his own childhood. Once again it was proven that blood wasn’t thicker than water and that blood didn't define a relationship; hearts and souls did.

Sometimes Magnus, Izzy and Madzie came to Idris and sometimes Jace and Alec and Mara came to New York, bringing Max with them whenever he had a break from the Sholomance. Jace and Alec had ensured that Magnus could portal directly to their mansion as the only Warlock, which made visits easy. 

A few years after Izzy and Magnus had married, they had adopted an abandoned Warlock boy called Asher with blue skin as its Warlock mark. Soon after they took in a Nephilim baby boy, George, whose parents had been both killed on a demon hunt. Izzy had always wanted a big family and so had Magnus. Both Madzie and Mara had been delighted on account of the new family members, making them both big sisters now – though Mara of course was strictly speaking Ascher’s and George’s cousin. But those minor technicalities didn’t matter in the Herondale household and neither did they matter in the Bane household. 

Jace and Alec had had the pleasure of getting to see both the warrior and leader Magnus Bane and the husband and father, seeing his strength in both roles. 

Today, while Jace was attending some meetings in Idris and Alec was visitng the London Institute to ensure their changes had taken hold there, Magnus and Izzy and their three kids had come to look after Mara. Magnus always took those visits as an opportunity to teach Mara, who was eager to learn to get better control over her magical powers. As with Madzie, the magic ran deep in her and she was advanced for her age – also thanks to her grim determination and relentless training. Both Madzie and Mara couldn’t wait for Asher to grow older to teach him some tricks, but so far Magnus had put his foot down and insisted that their brother was still too young. 

Alec and Jace made a point to ensure Mara got to know Warlocks who helped her control her magic and explain to her what being a Warlock really meant. She mainly saw Magnus, but Andrew had gotten closer with Jace due to him being his assistant and at times he and his boyfriend, Lorenzo, came for dinner as well so Mara had another Warlock to talk to too. Magnus’ friends Cat and Ragnor were also there for her, also showing her the variety of paths that were open to Warlocks. Where as Magnus was not only a political leader, he was also a warrior. Cat on the other hand had dedicated her life and her magic to healing, working for different mundane hospitals as a nurse or a doctor. Ragnor had found his dedication in teaching. It was important that Mara knew what choices she had, that she didn’t need to follow in her fathers’ footsteps and go into politics as well.

Alec called Izzy to say that he was on his way back home and would be there in a few moments. Alec was glad to be back home and also glad that he had seen with his own eyes how progressive the London Institute had become. He now looked forward to spending his evening with his daughter and Jace. When Magnus saw Alec approaching the mansion, he opened a portal for Izzy and their kids. He said goodbye to Mara just as Alec opened the door, hurrying to leave as Mara wanted to be a big girl and greet Alec on her own. 

“Daddy!” Mara cried joyfully as soon as she saw him.

“Hi darling!” Alec replied, smiling widely, as he closed the door.

He sighed silently when the door closed behind him and he could strip of his political face and just be Alec, father and husband.

Alec knelt and caught Mara as she ran into his embrace. They hugged for a moment before he stood and ruffled her lilac hair fondly. 

He still remembered the day he had first met her; a meeting that had turned out to be just as important and influential in his life as meeting Jace. She had been such a small shy girl who hadn’t talk to anyone but Madzie. Slowly, day by day, she had started to open up more and more until there had been love and trust.

At the beginning after she had been adopted, she had referred to them only by their first names. But the more they had found a routine in their little family, the more they had been able to show Mara how loved she was, the more she had opened up to them and finally, one day, she had called them daddy and dad. They had never known how she had picked those names, nor could she quite explain it. She had just shrugged when asked and had stated it fitted them – and Alec and Jace had had to agree.

Alec smiled when he remembered the single tear that had run down Jace’s cheek after hearing her call him dad for the very first time. It had been a perfect moment, a moment of pure love and trust, something Jace till then had only had with Alec and Alec had only had with Jace and his siblings.

They were not perfect, neither Jace nor Alec, they made mistakes with Mara at times. But they both wanted to do so much better with Mara than their own parents had done with them. At first, they had overindulged her a bit, but after a while they had found a much needed balance. Now, after having been her parents for five years Alec and Jace had the distinctive feeling they were doing right by her; if nothing else than they could see it in her loving hugs and warm smiles.

“See what I can do!” Mara happily told Alec as they walked to the living room together.

Mara’s eyes shone bright when she showed Alec the latest trick she had learned. She was an exceptionally gifted Warlock and she improved daily. She was as stubborn as Alec and spent a lot of time practicing. She already had a high command over her powers. Alec watched mesmerized when small flames danced on the palm of her hand, not burning her at all. With a grin she let her magic fly and the little flames flew towards the fireplace in the living room. Quickly the fire lit up and started to burn the wood that lay inside, making a homey warmth spread through the room.

“Amazing. Well done,” Alec praised, smiling widely as he hugged her.

He wasn’t in the least concerned that she was playing with fire in her magic. He trusted that she only did tricks she could control.

“Magnus taught me,” Mara told him proudly. 

Magnus was a patient but challenging teacher and after a lesson with him Mara was always better in channeling her magic. 

“I will thank him then. Is he still here?” Alec asked, pretending he didn’t know from Izzy that Mara had wanted to greet him by the door alone.

“No. I told him I was old enough to be here alone when you come home,” Mara beamed proudly.

“And so you are,” Alec agreed with a smile.

One of the most important lessons he had learned as a father: It was important to give their kids roots, but you also needed to let them grow wings and let them fly when the time was right. And though it was hard sometimes, he was determined to let Mara fly, step by step, and not put her in a cage, as golden as that cage might be. 

“He took Aunty Izzy, Madzie and my brothers shopping I think,” Mara revealed with a wink, knowing as well as Alec how much Izzy had come to love Mundane shopping – in particular with Magnus’ seemingly never-ending wealth in the form of this magical Mundane thing called Black credit cards!

Alec smiled at that. He was happy his sister had found someone in her life that gave her the same happiness and steadiness that he had found with Jace. Some might be misled by Magnus’ glamour and glitter, but he knew as Izzy had seen from the start that underneath was a deep and fascinating personality. Not unlike Jace, who masked his real self just in a different way. 

“Ok. I will tell him next time then,” Alec agreed. 

Mara’s stomach rumbled, signaling she was hungry. Alec looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was close to their normal dinner time.

“Can we have pizza tonight? Please?” Mara begged, giving him her best puppy eyes.

Alec couldn’t help but grin at her, but shook his head, nevertheless. 

“Not today, sweetheart. We had pizza just yesterday,” he reminded her, proud of himself for being able to balance her requests.

Giving in all the time had been a weakness of his when he had first become a father as he had wanted to make sure she never knew the type of scowl and rejection he had suffered. But being a good parent also entailed saying no sometimes.

“But daddy! I can eat pizza every day,” Mara insisted, just as stubborn as her father. She gave him a pleading look as she added, “Please, daddy.”

“You need something healthy, too,” Alec insisted, his voice fond but warm. “Don’t worry, it will be something you’ll like!”

“Fine,” Mara pouted, seeing she wasn’t going to win. She looked around as she asked, “When will dad be home?” 

A mischievous gleam had settled in her brown eyes as a plan formed in her mind. She wasn’t her fathers’ daughter for nothing. 

“Jace should be here…” Alec started to say but was interrupted by the front door opening.

Mara and Alec shared a grin as they started to walk towards the entrance hall. However, Jace beat them to it. Mara ran up and embraced him and he put an arm around her back and smiled warmly at her. Alec walked over and gave him a soft kiss. 

“Hi, you two,” Jace said with a fond look as Alec drew back.

Alec detected the tiredness beneath his husband’s voice. Jace had had to endure some exhausting days of political debates and these always drained him. Jace was still more a person of action than of words. Alec made a mental note to help his husband unwind later, when Mara was asleep.

“Dad! See what I can do! It can be extremely useful in battle,” Mara insisted as she drew back from Jace and showed her fire trick again.

Both men smiled at that. Mara was definitely their child, always thinking ahead like Alec, always ready to fight like Jace. 

“Well done Mara. Commanding fire like that can truly be useful in battle. Just let’s hope we won’t need it anytime soon,” Jace praised, making Mara beam like a sun from his words. 

Now that she had her dad captivated Mara felt it was time to strike.

“Dad, can we have pizza tonight?” Mara asked after she made the fire die in her hand, sounding eager but innocent.

She gifted Jace with her most radiant smile while Alec shook his head at her, trying to suppress the smile that wanted to settle on his lips. 

“Of course we can. I could eat pizza every day,” Jace assured her. 

A huge smile appeared on Mara’s face when she heard the exact same words that she had just said repeated to her.

“Mara!” Alec warned but his tone was still warm as he fought really hard now not to smile himself at how similar Jace and Mara were at times. She pouted as she looked at him while he reminded her with a soft but firm voice. “I already said no.” 

Mara’s smile disappeared and she looked annoyed at being figured out. 

“You are clever,” Jace said, laughing, tousling her hair. 

“So, I get pizza?” Mara asked, looking at Jace with huge hopeful eyes.

Jace huffed out a laugh as he replied, “No but points for trying.” 

“Humph,” Mara complained, but she knew when she had lost a battle. 

“Go wash up and then you can help me prepare dinner,” Alec told her, doing a shoo motion at her with a warm look. 

Alec loved to do those little things with her, things that his parents never had bothered to teach him. For him it was often homey things. Jace loved to teach her things he was good at in a proper way like weapons and fighting, done with patience, understanding and love, how a parent should teach but how Jace and Alec had never been taught. Though Mara didn’t really need to learn to fight like a Shadowhunter, having her magic, she nevertheless loved to train and get better. Her plans for teaching little George once he was old enough were already forming in her head. 

“I can just use magic to do it all and cook for us,” Mara reminded Alec, but she was already on her way to the bathroom. 

“It's good to learn to do it yourself so go wash up,” Alec insisted. 

“Ok. I prepare dessert on my own then,” Mara offered with a grin as she left the living room. 

Alec couldn’t hide the smile at the way Mara had made sure that there would be a dessert this evening. 

“That’s a deal,” Alec gave in and Mara almost danced on her way to the bathroom in victory, making Alec laugh. 

Mara had barely left before Jace pulled Alec close with his hands on his hips. Alec laid his arms around his neck.

“You're great with her,” Jace complimented his parabatai as he planted a soft kiss to Alec’s lip. 

Alec smiled throughout the kiss, happy for the praise.

“I always wanted to have a family,” Alec admitted when the kiss ended. 

In a way he had raised Izzy and Max until his parents had forced him to leave them behind and it had shown him how much he wanted children of his own one day. 

“Me too. A real family. And since I met you, I knew I would always want you,” Jace flirted, his voice warm and romantic. 

However, despite the sexy wink he was giving Alec he couldn’t quite suppress a yawn after his long and tiring day. 

"Likewise. I love you. I always have and I always will,” Alec swore in a voice filled with emotions.

Their bond echoed with their love and affection, making them both smile happily. Alec rested his head on Jace’s shoulder, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. 

"I love you too. Always,” Jace repeated, as he put a hand up and stroked Alec’s hair tenderly. 

With a happy sigh Alec let himself be pulled even closer, their bond humming contently between them. Soon after a loud shuffling of feet indicated that the quiet and peaceful moment was over as Mara came back. But both wouldn't want it any other way, happy to be a family.

The Shadow World had entered an era of peace and prosperity and each passing day cemented that more and more. 

Over time Jace and Alec’s love only grew. Through actions, words and in their bond, they showed each other every day how much they loved and cherished each other. Everything Alec had ever needed, Jace gave to him. Everything Jace had ever looked for, Alec was - that and so much more. Together, through their love and their convictions, they had changed the world and carved a place to call their own; paved the way for others to follow. For others to find love, peace, and happiness as they had done. Today, tomorrow, and forever.

**_The End_ **

**__ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you enjoyed the story. If so please leave a comment and/or a kudos. It would mean a lot to us.  
> Thanks so much to those who do. 💛💛💛💛💛


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